


Behind the Smile

by SassyAngel



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Blood, Depressed Lance (Voltron), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, Japanese proverb of three faces, Langst, Loneliness, M/M, Self-Hatred, Self-Sacrifice, klance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2018-11-28 13:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 49,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11418906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyAngel/pseuds/SassyAngel
Summary: The saddest people smile the brightest.This is the story about how Lance deals with his insecurities and problems. It derives from a small idea about Lance that I've had for a while: what if it's all for show?  What if Lance acts the way he does, wild and egotistic, to cover up someone who doesn't even believe in themselves? What if he shows the world a person who is confident, brave and awesome in order to hide the fact that he is none of those.This fic is to explore that idea and also Klance… cause you know? Klance.Currently, this fic is under a bit of a reform. I'm going over old chapters and updating them to better tell my story.I'm also trying to add a drawing for each new and updated chapter! So there's also that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one == redone!
> 
> I kept it mostly the same as before, but changed and added a few minor details. Plus a crappy illustration I did when I was stressing out about schoolwork but procrastinating it nonetheless.  
> Ah the joys of college.
> 
> Anyways, old readers, I hope you enjoy this chapter better than it was before, and new readers, thanks for giving Behind the Smile a chance!! Hope you enjoy the ride! :)

“Hey Blue.” Lance whispered, gently gliding his hands against the blue, cold metal claw in front of him. He looked up, his gaze returned by the faint luminescent yellow glow in the -more than- familiar metal beast’s eyes. “Mind if I stay with you for a bit?” He smiled fondly at the lion he was incredibly proud to call his partner. As if it were responding, the lion gently set its head down beside Lance, opening its wide mouth and granting the boy entry. “Thanks buddy.” Lance quietly hopped inside and sat in his seat, glad to feel the comfortably familiar leathery black seat against his back.

 

Lance had gathered a habit of coming down to where the ship stored the lions in the dead of night whenever he felt sad, desolate, and lonely, or simply whenever he wants to be in peace. This little custom of his started one night, really long ago, when he was feeling relatively frustrated with everything. He didn’t dare complain to his fellow paladins, not wanting them to realize how dejected he felt. The last thing he wanted was for everyone to think he was a liability or something to worry about. He didn’t want to whine to either Allura or Coran either, the former because she already had enough problems to deal with, and the latter simply because Coran, comforting as may be, is still a member of the team with his own problems and emotions, someone who Lance didn’t want to bother.

 

It was a relatively bad night. Lance’s ever criticizing mind wouldn’t let him sleep, filling his head with memories of all of his countless mistakes. He had been irritable all day, and though he masked it as not having his beauty sleep, he knew he worried the others and that only made him even more cross. He had decided to take a walk, hoping that maybe the fresh hallway air would calm him. Instead he ended up being drawn to the room where the lions were kept, where Blue was waiting for him.

 

When he first saw Blue, he had to admit he felt anger start to boil inside him, but it was quickly replaced with sadness when he felt Blue’s caring energy flow in the back of his mind. It was weird, but he understood that Blue wanted to make sure he was okay. It didn’t take long for him to open up to his lion, revealing his darkest secrets and fears.

 

Since then he started talking more and more to Blue. He’s become used to the company of the Blue lion, and cherished it more than anything in his life. Blue became a source of stability for him, something he never knew he desperately needed.

 

He felt comfort from being with his lion, a comfort he dearly missed. Being with the Blue Lion felt like returning home, or at least the closest Lance could get to that. The lion would listen to everything Lance poured from his soul, carefully paying attention to every word, syllable and sound that the boy would make. Lance had spent many nights here, inside this alien space ship he had only barely known for a couple of months; here, inside this space ship where he had battled for his life many times; here, inside this space ship where he met the people he could call family; here, inside this space ship that he called a dear friend.

 

“Blue, have you ever wondered if you chose wrong?” Lance confided. He sometimes wondered why it was so easy to speak freely to his lion, it might be because the lion couldn’t ever respond back besides a few growls and grunts; or, alternatively, it could be because the lion was his partner –one he trusted with his life. Regardless of his reasoning he was there now, pouring his deepest darkest secrets to the blue, feline ship.

 

The lion growled softly, negating Lance’s thought; this answer was more than enough to comfort his troubled mind. “Yeah, you’re right. You’re too good to choose wrong.” Lance smirked softly. “Still though, I wish I was a better paladin.” Lance closed his eyes, resting his head against the soft fabric. “I’m still glad though, because of you I’ve gotten to meet such wonderful people.” There was a pause. “And also Keith.” Lance chuckled.

 

Blue hummed softly, sending a wave of comfort towards Lance. The boy took a deep breath, feeling serene for once. His dark, restless thoughts had left him now in a much welcomed silence. Blue had that effect on him.

 

Lance could feel himself falling asleep. He let out a deep sigh, letting his heavy eyes rest. He knew he couldn’t stay with the lion for too much longer; it would be kind of weird explaining why he ended up sleeping inside a battle ready spacecraft instead of a comfortable bed only a small walk away. He let a few seconds pass, and then a few minutes; eventually and hesitantly, he got off his chair. “I guess I’ll be going then, Blue.” He yawned. “Gotta catch up on my beauty sleep right?”

 

Blue purred softly, wishing the paladin a good night. Lance smiled softly, tiredly walking out of the cat shaped ship and towards his own room. The moment his lion was no longer in sight, the peace and calm he felt was gone and his mind was no longer silent.

 

As he was walking, Lance wondered what time it was. He pulled out his watch. “Four fifteen? Quiznak.” He cursed, or at least he thought he cursed as he still had a vague idea of the true meaning of the word. He ended up spending three hours with his lion instead of the intended thirty minutes. Strangely enough, as tired as he was, he didn’t really want to go to sleep.

 

His dreams were never kind to him.

 

 

“Lance?” Hunk yawned walking inside the kitchen. “What’s up? How’d you sleep?” It was now eight in the morning; Allura obligated the paladins to be awake early in the day in order to train or at least to be ready for battle. Hank had just woken up and was more then ready for breakfast.

 

“Like a baby.” Lance grinned, giving his sleepy friend a thumbs up. “Although some more sleep would be nice.” He mumbled as he leaned on the table, sitting alone. He had stayed awake the rest of the night, and ended up catching only about four hours of sleep; which, compared to other days, wasn’t too bad. “And yourself big guy?” He pulled up a chair beside him, beckoning Hunk to come and sit by him.

 

“I slept alright.” He sat down beside Lance, casually eyeing the kitchen for anything suspicious. “Did Coran…” Hunk whispered, placing his hand beside his mouth in hopes of covering his words from unwanted Altean ears. Lance smiled, already knowing what his food-loving friend wanted to ask.

 

“No, he’s yet to start cooking the Paladin’s famous breakfast. The kitchen’s yours dude.” Hunk grinned, obviously happy to have _his_ kitchen Coran-free.

 

“Hey guys.” A new voice entered the room. “What’s for breakfast?” The short girl asked, sitting across from the two boys. She lazily placed her latest project on the table, already beginning to tinker on it. Lance offered her a smile, but she didn’t really notice it, not that it mattered. He wondered what her latest project was and what she would do with it, knowing her it was probably something incredibly clever and stupidly deadly. As if to prove him right, a small piece of her contraption exploded off and pelted Lance in the forehead. “Oops, sorry Lance.” Pidge gave him a sheepish smile before going back to her work. Lance grumbled.

 

“You alright Lance?” Hunk looked worriedly at his best friend, who could only offer a smile. It honestly hurt like hell, but he’d be fine in a minute or two.

 

“I’ll live.” The boy shrugged with a grin, trying to ignore the lingering pain. Hunk was content with that answer, nodding meaningfully at Lance, and looked back at Pidge to answer their original question.

 

“I don’t know what I’m making yet, but it’s going to be something great.” Hunk stood up and started heading towards the fridge. Lance observed him as he grabbed whatever ingredients he deemed necessary for his surprise better-than-five-star gourmet breakfast. Lance sometimes found himself wishing he could cook like Hunk. He knew how to not burn the stove and accidentally set the kitchen on fire, but he generally considered everything he made as tasting mediocre at best. He shrugged the thought away, settling with just staring at Hunk cook.

 

“I bet.” Shiro entered the room with his signature caring smile formed on his lips. “Good morning everyone.” He walked in and immediately went straight to the beloved machine that made the altean version of coffee. Lance always wondered how the heck Shiro was always in high spirits in the morning, especially before having the usually much needed coffee. Lance himself hated the taste of coffee, it was far too bitter for him, but by this point he knew how to deal with mornings… terribly so, but it was something he supposed. Meanwhile Shiro was ready for the world the moment he opened his eyes. It was a talent, really.

 

“Good morning.” Lance leaned back leisurely on his chair, giving Shiro a warm smile. He then looking back at Hunk, trying to figure out what that culinary genius was doing. It could often be mesmerizing to see him cook. He had such a unique style of doing everything, and Lance admired that. Whenever Hunk cooked, he tended to have large, slow gestures, not to flaunt his skills but rather to share them. It was hard to describe, but it felt like Hunk was welcoming others to join him, whether it was to cook, eat or talk.

 

“Any good dreams?” Shiro asked coffee in hand. Lance snapped back into the conversation, looking at Shiro again. He was now sitting beside Pidge, who was fully indulged in her work. Lance didn’t hesitate, he grinned and leaned forward.

 

“I had a dream that I was surrounded by beautiful ladies singing a song of praise for my heroics.” This was obviously a lie as Lance didn’t dream let alone sleep much that night –or any night as a matter of fact… but he could be as creative as he wanted, and hopefully make someone laugh at his antics. Shiro stared at Lance for a moment, only to shake his head with a hint of a smile on his face. Success.

 

“I’m honestly not surprised.” It was now Keith that was talking, having entered the room not too long ago. Lance pretended not to have noticed. “Do you even think about anything other than women Lance?” Lance didn’t even falter; he was always ready to bother Keith. He knew Keith was ultimately judging him and questioning his legitimacy as a paladin, but Lance already had to deal with that from himself on a constant basis, so he decided to ignore it and keep playing along instead.

 

“You’re just jealous you can’t dream up something as creative as I can.” He crossed his arms with a snooty grin attached to his face. He knew the boy hated it when he did that, but it was the only way Lance knew to talk to Keith. It was the only way he knew to make sure everything was okay with the ever-grumpy mullet-head. Plus, he doubted Keith would ever want to talk to him normally, so obnoxious interactions it was. Though, if he had to be honest, he’s rather glad this is what their relationship was like, it was a lot easier to handle.

 

“Whatever.” Keith rolled his eyes, thinking it was way too early to be putting up with Lance’s bullshit. Unlike Shiro, Keith was _definitely_ not a morning person.

 

“Well Lance, in average humans forgets 95 to 99% of their dreams.” Pidge looked up from her morning project, now indulging him in conversation. “So theoretically speaking, Keith could’ve easily had that same dream as you but simply forgot about it.” Lance actually liked it when Pidge gave out little tidbits of information like this, even if he only understood what she was talking about half of the time. It was nice having Pidge talk to him, she’s normally so indulged in her own things that it’s sometimes hard to get her attention.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Bottom line is I had this dream and Keith didn’t.” Lance waved his hands aimlessly in the air. Keith just shrugged, very much so done with this pointless conversation. He ended up sitting on the other side of Shiro, farthest away from Lance in a small attempt to ignore the guy.

 

“And voila!” Hunk said loudly, startling everyone from the silence that had formed. He smiled proudly at his work, happy with the results of his hard work. “Breath taking.” He said mostly to himself, admiring what looked to be something incredibly delicious. He happily placed a plate in front of each one of the paladins, plus one more for where he was sitting. He enthusiastically sat down once more beside Lance, more than ready to start eating. If there was something Lance knew about Hunk, it was that he very much so valued his three meals in the day and potential snacks in between.

 

“Well good morning young paladins!” A ridiculously energetic voice boomed. “I bet you’re all more than ready for some of my specially made paladins breakfast!” Coran entered the room with his big grin reaching his eyes… only to frown when he sees everyone already eating something other than his usually gross paladin food. Lance felt mildly bad every time Coran didn’t get to make something, but his stomach was ever thankful for it.

 

“Sorry Coran, you came in late.” Hunk was more than delighted looking at the freshly made breakfast in front of him. “Maybe next time.” He offered.

 

“Oh Quiznak!” Coran snapped his finger, visibly disappointed. As Hunk was about to finally take a bite from his breakfast, the castle’s alarms rang. Lance could feel the irritation and disappointment radiating from Hunk as he put down his meal.

 

“Paladins! There is a Galra space craft heading our way.” A sweet British sounding voice boomed through the castle’s loud speakers. “Go to your lions and prepare for battle.” All five paladins, with the exception of Hunk, immediately rose and ran towards their lions, abandoning their food on the now empty table. Hunk stared longingly towards his unlawfully full plate for a moment before he too ran towards his lions.

 

Lance sat down in the familiar leathery seat, his hands placed gently on the controls of the ship. He closed his eyes for a moment; letting his worries fade away and focus on the mission. “Lets go Blue.” He whispered softly, smiling. Blue cheered with a proud roar, encouraging the paladin to do their best.

 

The pair immediately flew out from the castle and into the vastness of space, together.


	2. Chapter 2

The fight didn’t last too long; in fact the breakfast Hunk made was still relatively warm by the time they returned to the castle. The Galra ship was just a scouting ship that wondered a bit too far from the main ship that, no doubt, would be heading towards the castle’s direction right now. Allura was already starting to pilot the castle away from their current location, probably to another galaxy in another sector of the universe. Lance was always fascinated by how easily she could wormhole them from place to place with her ship, but, then again, everything in the castle was fascinating for him. It was sometimes a little overwhelming actually, how he was a part of something this big and this important. He couldn’t help but feel under qualified, like just some lucky kid.

 

Despite the battle going swiftly, Lance couldn’t help but feel bothered by how the fight went. He felt as though he barely had a part in it; meanwhile, he knew Keith basically guaranteed their victory. Lance knows it’s always been that way. He was and probably would always be the weak link, and he hated it. If only he was half as good as Keith…

 

Lance bit his lip. ‘Why do I even bother?’ He heard himself think. As much as he hated to admit it, he often wondered that. Nothing he did would ever amount to much compared to everyone else.

 

“Good fight everyone.” Shiro said enthusiastically. “We’re getting better at fighting the Galra together as a team, even if it was just a small ship.” Everyone smiled and nodded, but Lance couldn’t quite relate to what Shiro had just said. He still felt like that one kid who only got into fighter class because the top dog left. He still felt like he did nothing to deserve his place as a fellow paladin. Why did Blue pick him anyways? Comedic relief?

 

“Good job team.” Lance cheered wildly, ignoring his thoughts and trying to seem absolutely ecstatic. If he wasn’t out in space fighting, he might’ve made a great actor. “We did great thanks to my glorious shooting.” He winked, almost believing his own lie. There was a small laughter radiating from the group, Lance smiled sadly. He was glad that at least he could still make them laugh.

 

“It was a team effort.” Keith retorted impatiently, glaring at the unsuspecting Lance. “If anything, all you did was sit and watch. Actually, you also missed several of your shots.” Keith hated how self obsessed Lance could get. He still thought Lance was a good guy despite how annoying he could get, but sometimes he couldn’t handle how egotistical that guy could be.

 

“Sure, sure. Whatever floats your boat.” Lance shrugged, feeling even shittier than before. He knew Keith had a point, but having someone say it to his face didn’t really help his self esteem much. “Well, anyways I’m off to go get my beauty sleep. Wake me up if anything exciting happens.” He started to make his way out towards his room.

 

“It’s still early in the day, you should be doing something productive… like training.” Keith glared at the boy, once more annoyed by his careless attitude. Sometimes, he wondered if Lance even wanted to be a paladin.

 

“Actually, you should be eating. We skipped breakfast remember? The whole Galra thing happened right as we were about to eat?” Hunk cluelessly butted in. He never really paid much attention to any of the fights the two boys started with each other, it was actually really common, and instead he always just said what came to mind. Lance really liked and appreciated that.

 

“I’ll eat some green goo later.” Lance grinned, waving as he finally left the group. He sighed softly as he walked the currently empty halls of the castle. He needed to be alone for a bit, he needed to think and he needed to find some way to improve. Would it even matter if he did? He shut his eyes painfully, trying hard to stay positive, but boy was it hard.

 

“Lance, wait.” Pidge called out to him, following him towards the hallway, surprising Lance. The taller paladin was quick to hide any sign of sadness from his face, turning over to look at Pidge with a smile.

 

“What’s up buttercup?” He asked nonchalantly. “You need something?” Lance doubted that, Pidge was way too self-sufficient to need help. She was strong, independent, smart and even funny at times. He was glad that he had the chance to be good friends with someone like her. He wondered if he could consider himself as reliable and independent as her. Thinking back to all of the battles he’s been in, his answer was no.

 

“Actually, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind helping me move some things.” Lance blinked, that was one of the rare times Pidge actually asked him for anything. “I’d ask Hunk but he’s too busy eating and Keith is about to start training. Oh and Shiro’s talking to Allura about some important paladin things... but I’m pretty sure that’s just an excuse to flirt with her some more.” Pidge smirked softly with a slight laugh escaping her lips.

 

“I’m glad to help.” Lance said honestly, smiling at her. “You know, you came to the right guy. Back at Earth I was known as the Great Mover.” He joked, puffing his chest out slightly to seem stronger.

 

“I was with you back at Earth and that is a total lie.” Pidge rolled her eyes, chuckling softly to herself. “Now come on, I really want to get started on this.” Lance watched momentarily as she proudly walked to where she needed to be before joining her, he really needed to start pulling his weight and then maybe he could walk as proudly as she.

 

The two stayed mostly in silence as Lance moved a few boxes around for Pidge and she started working on her projects. It didn’t take long before Lance’s job was done. Honestly, he just needed to reach for some parts that were too high up for Pidge and store a few things here and there. It was nothing too complicated. “What are you working on?” Lance had ventured to ask while moving a small box from one shelf to the next. Pidge said she needed it in a more reachable place.

 

“I’m trying to make a hover board.” Pidge said as a matter of fact. She didn’t seem to keen on talking right now, preferring to work on her latest endeavor. Lance decided to push his luck.

 

“Oh that’s real cool Pidge! You gotta promise to let me try it out when you’re done. Think of me as a guinea pig or something.” Lance smiled widely, leaning on one of the shelves. Pidge turned around and raised a brow.

 

“I’ll think about it. But I swear that if I let you test it out and you end up breaking my hover board in the test run, you’re dead.” Pidge turned her back towards Lance once more to go back to tinkering.

 

“Oh come on, that doesn’t sound like something I’d do.” He forced a laugh.

 

“Lance, it sounds exactly like something you’d do.” Pidge sighed. Lance bit his lip nervously. Did Pidge really think he was that much of a screw up? It’s not like he’d purposefully crash it or anything. “Oh, you can go now if you’re done.” Pidge said without looking at Lance. The blue paladin took that as his cue that he was bothering her.

 

“Right… well, I guess I’ll leave you to it then.” He forced another laugh. “See you around Pidge.” He started making his way to the door.

 

“Later.”

 

Lance groaned once Pidge was out of earshot. Pidge was usually a little more patient with him, but he decided to blame it on her excitement to work on the hover board… Yeah, that’s why she didn’t really want to talk with him. It’s not because he’s an annoying guy who doesn’t know when he isn’t wanted, not at all.

 

He rubbed his tired eyes, wondering what he should do with himself during the day. Normally there would be paladin exercises right now, but since they just had a run in with the Galra Allura decided to let them have a small break. He entertained the idea of going to the training room anyways, but Keith was probably there already hogging the room to himself. He could just go sleep, but a quick reminder of how his dreams tend to be nightmares made him decide against it. He could just hang out with Hunk for a bit, but he wasn’t sure if the other would be up for it… especially after his interaction with Pidge.

 

While thinking about what his day would look like, Lance accidentally bumped into someone while turning into a corner. With his luck, it was a hard hit that nearly knocked him off his feet, but he managed to regain balance right before he fell. “Sorry! I didn’t see you-“ He started, before realizing he had bumped into Mr. Mullet Man. “Oh, hey Keith.” He said flatly, extending a hand to the fallen paladin.

 

“Watch where you’re going.” Keith snapped, but still took the other’s hand and pulled himself up. “You should really learn to pay attention to your surroundings Lance. You can’t stay an airhead forever.” Lance raised a brow. Keith was generally a jerk in a normal basis, but now he was acting like a mega jerk. Lance didn’t even really do anything this time, right?

 

“Sorry dude.” He tried shrugging, already motioning away from Keith. “Won’t happen again.”

 

“Sure.” Keith rolled his eyes. “Just don’t get in my way again.” Lance stopped, okay something was definitely wrong.

 

“What’s your deal?” Lance winced, he didn’t mean to sound as aggressive as he did. “I mean-“ He tried to explain himself, but Keith’s glare stopped him.

 

“What’s my deal? You are, Lance.” Keith said a bit too calmly and coldly for Lance’s comfort. If he was yelling, Lance knew he was just taking his frustrations out on him… But he wasn’t. He knew what he was saying and Lance understood he meant every word. “Are you even trying?” Lance flinched. “You keep acting like you’re such a great paladin, but you barely even train!” He sighed. “Do you even want to be here?” Yes, Lance really did, but it was hard. “This isn’t just some game where you can do whatever you want. This is important and you need to act like it.” Keith scowled at Lance, daring him to defend himself. Lance didn’t know what to say.

 

“Yeah, okay.” Lance sighed, and turned around and started walking away. He didn’t really know how to respond. Keith was right. Lance knew he was right, but he didn’t dare tell the other boy he agreed with everything that was said. Knowing you’re a failure and admitting it are two different things, the latter was something he didn’t really want to deal with. He felt tired, and exhausted.

 

“That’s it?” Keith scoffed. “Not even going to try and prove me wrong?” Keith knew he was being a bit too harsh with the other boy, but today he’s been getting on his nerves a lot more than normal. He knows Lance genuinely cares about his team, but that wasn’t enough. He needed to be a better member of the team, and Keith needed him to realize that. He needed Lance to stop acting high and mighty all the time and start trying more.

 

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” Lance sighed, giving Keith a tired look and left.

 

 

 

That night, for some reason, Keith couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned in bed to no avail. Despite how tired he felt, he just couldn’t keep his eyes closed for long. His body was tired from training so much, but his mind was wide-awake. There was a hint of guilt sparking up with the memory of his talk with Lance. For some reason, it was all he could think about. Keith wasn’t regretting what he said, but rather how he said it. Someone had to say it though, and everyone knows how terrible Keith is with words.

 

The boy sighed and gave up momentarily on the notion of sleep. He reluctantly rolling off his bed and getting on his feet. He wondered what he could possibly do to pass the time, maybe he could try to read an Altean book or try out some more of Coran’s special paladin green goo. The boy smiled at the thought. “Anything but Coran’s green goo.” He muttered to himself. His eyes then lay on his Bayard, he decided he would train for a bit to get his mind off of things until he got tired enough to sleep.

 

The boy planned on fighting for a couple of minutes or maybe even an hour if he was still restless, yet he stopped dead in his tracks when he approached the door to the Training Deck. It was a nice grey metal door, but what got him to halt was what he saw through the small little window on the door. He was shocked to see that someone was using it, and not just anyone… Lance was using it. “I thought he didn’t train, at least not willingly.” He muttered under his breath. At first he wondered if the boy was just fooling around in there, but at a closer inspection he noticed how Lance was already out of breath and obviously tired. His reaction time was starting to get slightly delayed, probably due to having sore muscles. Lance was covered with sweat, and at some parts he was scratched up badly and even bloody. Keith wondered how long he was there training, he also wondered what prompted the boy to train so late at night and whether this was a one night event.

 

Maybe what Keith said actually got through to the boy? Somehow Keith doubted it. He figured Lance would probably quit after a while, not being the biggest fan of doing anything aside from lying around and doing nothing important. Regardless, it was rather interesting seeing Lance training willingly without having someone there telling him to.

 

And so, Keith observed. He watched as Lance dodged attacks, and fought back. He watched as he tried new strategies and practiced shooting from different ranges. He watched as a training bot struck him down, hard, and he watched him get back up and try again. Lance was fighting two bots, one ranged and one melee. He was somehow managing to keep on par with the two.

 

The way Lance was practicing was relatively odd. He clearly knew what he was doing, but none of what he was doing was what the team normally did during paladin practice. In fact, it actually resembled some of the different fighting styles Keith saw of resistance fighters from several planets use. If Keith didn’t know any better, he would have guessed that it was almost like Lance was picking up the different fighting styles and readjusting them to fit his own. What’s even more confusing was how well he was doing. His aim was oddly perfect and his concentration was incredible.

 

The more Keith watched, the more he realized Lance was couldn’t have just been doing this out of nowhere. He had to have practiced this before. Thinking back, Keith could vaguely remember Lance doing something different every now and then in the battlefield. Sometimes the boy surprised him, but those times were relatively rare and often brushed aside. Keith now wondered if Lance was simply holding back when he was with the rest of the team.

 

He continued watching as Lance proved to Keith that he wasn’t just a lazy guy who somehow ended up in the team. Suddenly, with that realization, Keith felt bad for all the times he looked down on Lance, he felt bad for all the times he’s complained about how little effort he put in and he felt bad for all the times he’s thought of Lance as the weak link. He especially felt bad for how angry he was at Lance earlier, and how he treated him. He always thought Lance was some guy who stumbled into the Blue Lion and only did what was required of him. He knew Lance was a good guy, but even then Lance always bothered him for some reason or another.

 

Suddenly, a quiet yelp drew Keith from his thoughts. Lance was in the ground, cradling his arm with tears threatening to fall. He was biting his lip to keep himself from yelling loudly. It looked like the melee bot managed to make a deep cut on Lance’s arm while he was focused on taking down the other bot. It was walking closer to Lance, ready to make a second attack. Meanwhile, the ranged bot was prepping an attack as well. Keith’s eyes widened. “Stop the training you idiot!” He tried shouting, but he lost his voice. He was unable to do anything but stare at injured boy in shock. The melee bot raised its sword, about to strike.

 

Keith was about to barge into the room to try and help Lance any way he could, but before he got the chance Lance raised his injured arm and took out his paladin shield. He managed to block the attack, wincing from the pain. While he was blocking the strike, he made a quick grab at his gun with his other hand and shot at the ranged opponent, knocking him out. He then pushed himself up against the shield, making the melee bot lose his balance, and quickly shot at the second bot as well. The two bots were down, leaving Lance standing alone breathing heavily. He took a deep breath and looked at his arm. “Not good enough.” He scolded himself. “Raise the level. Three on one.”

 

The two downed bots suddenly rose with new life, as if nothing had happened, and a third one appeared. Keith stared astonished, unable to believe that this was the same Lance who was always flirting around and bragging about the dumbest things. Keith felt like he didn’t know Lance at all.

 

Keith watched for a long time, and he noticed that minutes quickly turned into hours but still Lance trained. Eventually, his eyes felt heavy and he was far too tired to keep on watching. He decided to go to bed for the night, and as he walked back into his room he wondered if Lance would be there the next night. He wasn’t sure why, but his curiosity had to be satiated. He needed to know about this new side of Lance he just discovered. As he closed his eyes to go to sleep, he decided that the next day he would stay awake long enough to see whether or not the boy would be there again.

 

It was only much later that Lance quit his training. If he had to guess, it was about 3 in the morning. He was honestly in the verge of passing out hours ago, but he wanted to keep training. Every time he was about ready to call it a night, a faint reminder of his conversation with Keith played over his head. _“Are you even trying?”_ He grimaced at the thought. He could do better… he had to. And so, he kept going. He ignored how his body ached and begged for sleep. He forced his eyes open whenever they threatened to close shut. He refused to give up.

 

Now, however, he was making his way towards Blue. He wasn’t sure he wanted to sleep just yet and Blue was always good company. “Hey.” He offered the blue lion a smile when he finally reached the room where the lions were being kept. “Miss me?” He gave a snug look, but that was quickly dropped when Blue responded with an irritated roar. “Oh come on, it’s not that bad.”

 

Lance pouted mildly when Blue chastised him about how injured he looked. Normally, Lance would have a small cut here or there from training, maybe a bruise, but nothing major. Right now, he looked terrible. Aside from the large cut in his arm, there were several other scratches throughout his body and some bruises here and there. Even his face, which he was normally careful to keep from getting injured, had a bruise. “It’s not like I purposefully did it!” Lance whined. “Okay so maybe I did raise the level, but I figured I could do better.” Blue was silent for a moment, before purring softly. “Thanks Blue.” Lance smiled softly. “I need to be better, but I’ll be more patient.” He sat down beside Blue’s left paw. “It’s just… well-“ Lance sighed quietly, closing his tired eyes. “Keith and I had a little talk, and he made it quite clear how he felt about my skills as a paladin.” He felt a pitiful laugh escape his throat. “Will I ever be good enough?”

 

Blue was livid. Lance almost regretted opening his mouth, but then again he was always thankful for Blue’s ever-constant support. Blue made it quite clear that Lance’s comment was not appreciated, and also that Lance was most certainly good enough and better. Keith was also labeled as a short tempered mullet man with no right to criticize Blue’s paladin. The only opinion that mattered was Blue’s, and that was that. Lance couldn’t have been more thankful to have Blue as his partner.

 

After a few minutes of vicious purrs and roars, Blue made sure Lance promised to take better care of himself. This meant bandaging up and going to sleep. Lance wasn’t very enthusiastic for the latter, but did as told. He begrudgingly left Blue and went to his room where he took a quick shower and started slapping on bandaids.

 

 

 

During the day, Keith was surprised to see that Lance acted the same way he always did, but instead of hating how annoying and incredibly lazy the boy was, he saw Lance in a new light. It’s funny how with new knowledge, the same situation can mean something so different. They were in the training deck again, doing another one of Princess Allura’s paladin exercises. Keith always hated how Lance was slow and sluggish during training, but now he thought of him as dedicated and persistent. He now knew Lance had stayed the entire night awake to train, only to spend the entire day doing the same activity without so much as complaining about being tired. In fact, during breakfast, the boy even boasted about how wonderful his dreams were and how he slept like a baby. Keith now wondered if every time he mentioned how well he slept, he was lying just like now. He wondered if there were any other things that Lance lied about and why he would go to such lengths. Before, Keith had no interest in dealing with Lance; they were members of the same team and that was that. Now, however, Keith wanted to know more about him, he wanted to figure out why he did what he did, and what else the boy did in secret.

 

At some point during the exercise Lance fell down, probably tripping on himself due to exhaustion. A training drone was about to shoot its blasters at Lance, but luckily Shiro was quick enough to block the blow with his shield. “You have to be more careful Lance.” He said a bit harshly yet still with his kind voice. This wasn’t the first time an event like this happened during practice, and as patient as Shiro was, Keith noticed how tired he was of Lance always ‘slacking off’. Keith expected Lance to retort with something witty, or complain about how he was just tired from not sleeping much the night before.

 

“Right, sorry about that.” Lance gave a big, charming smile and stood back up. Keith, for what seemed like the first time, noticed that his smile wasn’t really genuine. He tried to recall every time the boy gave his signature cocky grin or charismatic smile, and thinking about it only made him realize that Lance’s smile never truly reaches his eyes. Keith wondered how blind he must’ve been for not realizing this sooner. He looked at Lance for a while longer trying to decipher him, and then finally seeing a hint of his true emotions… It looked like he was… sad? Keith suddenly felt angry that the brown haired boy didn’t defend himself and angrier that Shiro didn’t notice how hard he was working. He didn’t really know why he felt personally angry with this, but he couldn’t help it.

 

“Keith, watch out.” Pidge yelled, bringing Keith back from his thoughts. There was a drone about to swing his sword at the red paladin and he wasn’t even close to being prepared to handle it. Keith was quick to raise his sword, but there wasn’t enough time. He gritted his teeth and tried to jump back, hoping to dodge the blow altogether. Lucky for him, the drone got blasted away before he could strike. Keith looked back at the source of the laser and realized he was looking once again at Lance, and then he smiled.

 

“Thanks.” He said simply, before forcing himself to get his head back into training. He only barely noticed Lance give him a thumb up and another fake smile. Before, he would’ve thought the boy was stuck up and snooty, as though he was trying to show off how good he was with a gun, but now he wondered if it was all just an elaborate act.

 

After training was done, Hunk offered to cook something for the paladins before Coran could make something. Thankfully the Altean was busy in the command room trying to figure out where they should go next. Everyone cheerfully agreed, more than ready for something to eat. Lance looked the jolliest of the gang. “Hunk, my man!” He roared.

 

The paladins made their way to the kitchen, taking their usual seats around the table with the exception of Lance. The blue paladin was setting the table for Hunk. “So what’ll it be today chef?” Lance grinned.

 

“Only my specialty mystery meat.” Hunk winked, earning a groan from Lance. Keith had absolutely no idea what warranted that reaction, and looking around at everyone, neither did the rest of the paladins.

 

“What’s with the groan? Isn’t mystery meat good?” Pidge raised a brow. Lance smiled softly, setting down a set of plates.

 

“Well Pidge, I’m very glad you asked.” Lance had a smug look about him. “You see, back when Hunk and I were in middle school, Hunk had this crazy idea to break into the school-“ Lance was quickly interrupted.

 

“That was no way my idea and you know it Lance. You were the one who suggested we had an adventure.” Hunk glared, but Lance simply shrugged.

 

“Technicalities.” He waved a hand in the air dismissively. “Besides, you were the one who suggested we checked out the kitchen.”

 

“Wait, you two broke into your middle school?” Keith stared incredulously at Lance, and then at Hunk.

 

“Yeah Keith, I already said we did. Get with the program.” Keith glared at Lance, but was surprised to see the boy wasn’t really even looking at him. Weird. Even weirder was how it seemed like Lance’s comment was only halfhearted, like he only said it to say it. Normally there would be a lot of snarl behind a comment like that, but this one felt empty. “I turned on the grill and asked Hunk for a midnight snack, or I guess it was a three in the morning snack.” Lance chuckled. “The school didn’t really have all that much food stocked, surprisingly. What they did have though, was mystery meat.” Lance shivered slightly at the thought, almost like he was appalled by the memory. “I asked Hunk to make me some, which he did cause he’s awesome.”

 

“I am pretty awesome.” Hunk nodded thoughtfully from behind the Altean stove. Keith noticed Lance give him a smile.

 

“It tasted real good, better then when the school itself served it.” Lance finished setting the table and took his seat. “The thing is…” Lance paused dramatically.

 

“The thing is what!? Lance?” Pidge was waiting eagerly for the Lance to finish the rest of his sentence. Keith noticed how all eyes on the room were now on Lance, and he could tell Lance really liked that. Of course he did, he was Lance after all.

 

“The mystery meat was expired.” Lance grimaced and everyone in the room shared a mildly disgusting look. “By nearly a year.” The room was quiet for what felt like a long while, before Pidge started laughing. Soon Shiro started chuckling as well. Lance looked even more pleased with himself now.

 

“Did you get caught?” Shiro asked. He looked pretty relaxed now, no longer as annoyed with Lance as before.

 

“Nope!” Lance said smugly, proud of his achievement. “We were sure to wear masks throughout the entire shebang, and since we didn’t really do anything aside from eat expired food there wasn’t really a big enough case for the school system to freak out about. Though we did get real nasty food poisoning.” Lance chuckled. “Hunk, you remember how-“

 

“Yes Lance. Vividly.” Hunk answered quickly. “And I remembered we agreed not to talk about that part.”

 

“What part?” Pidge asked inquisitively.

 

“Yeah Hunk, what part.” Lance teased. Hunk glared at the boy, who offered another smile. “Don’t worry big guy, your secret’s safe with me.” He winked.

 

“No!” Pidge pouted. “Lance his secret is not safe with you. Now tell me! What Part?” The girl was basically begging Lance for the juicy details at this point. Lance shook his head slightly.

 

“Oh, Pidge, how’s your hover board looking?” Lance quickly changed the subject. Pidge fell for it.

 

“It’s coming along nicely. It should be done sooner or later.” Pidge shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal.

 

“You’re making a over board?” Shiro asked surprised. “That’s awesome Pidge!” He smiled widely. All attention was now on Pidge, who eagerly talked about her latest project. Keith wondered how Lance would act now that nobody was really paying attention to him.

 

The boy was smiling over at Pidge, but almost melancholic. Keith noticed how his hand was gripping the arm he injured the prior night while he was training. He wondered if Lance took care of it properly.

 

Soon, lunch was served and everyone was eating their meals happily. Lance ate sluggishly, as if he wasn’t really hungry. Keith figured the boy didn’t have much of an appetite at the moment. He did notice, however, that Hunk didn’t look too pleased at Lance’s full plate. He didn’t say anything though.

 

“Thanks for the meal Hunk.” Shiro said with a smile, putting his dish in the sink when he was done. “I’ll do the dishes later.” He declared. “But first I think I’ll go take a shower, if you’ll excuse me.” He then left.

 

“Yeah I’m going to go too. I still need to finish programming a few things.” Pidge quickly got up and placed her dish on top of Shiro’s. She started walking out the door before stopping suddenly. “Oh, when you’re free you mind checking on a few things for me?” Pidge looked at Hunk.

 

“Sure thing.” Hunk smiled. Keith then looked at Lance, who, though still smiling, was looking at anywhere but the other two boys. Keith then noticed Hunk stare at him. “So what are your plans for the day?” Keith knew the taller paladin was threatening him with small talk. He knew Hunk was patiently waiting for Keith to leave, and he knew Keith knew that.

 

“I think I’m going to take a catnap.” Lance yawned. “Gotta get my beauty sleep, y’know?” He smiled, about to stand up. Hunk glared at him. He did not stand up.

 

“I’m going to go… train.” Keith was very bad at lying, but it was clear he wasn’t supposed to be there right now. “Yeah.” He said awkwardly, before standing up and taking his plate to the sink. He then left without looking at the two.

 

He wasn’t really planning on eavesdropping, nor did he really care much about what it was that Hunk had to say to Lance. He truly intended on just walking towards his room and maybe read a book or something, but somehow he ended up behind the kitchen door with his ear pressed against to cool metal to hear whatever he could.

 

“What’s up Hunk?” Lance sounded a little nervous.

 

“What’s going on?” Hunk’s voice was soft, and caring. It was a lot kinder and held no negative sentiment. Lance really appreciated that, but he would rather not have this conversation.

 

“What do you mean?” He asked, but Hunk just stared at him. “Okay, fine. You win. I’m just tired.” He sighed. “I guess I don’t have much of an appetite when I’m sleepy.” He shrugged.

 

“Lance.” Hunk did obviously not believe whatever Lance was saying. Keith frowned. It was obvious that Lance would be tired since he spent all night training. He wasn’t even sure if Lance slept at all. Keith was tempted to walk in and explain to Hunk what was happening, but it wasn’t really his place to do that.

 

“I’m fine, okay?” Lance’s voice cracked a little. “I just…” He trailed off, his voice growing softer. Keith felt himself press harder against the cool metal, trying desperately to hear Lance’s words. He couldn’t quite make them out.

 

“I know.” Hunk nodded slightly. “I just want you to know I’m here for you, okay?” The bigger of the two offered a smile. Lance nodded.

 

“Thanks big guy.” Lance smiled back. “The meal was good, by the way.” He murmured. “Everyone loved it.”

 

“Thanks.” Hunk accepted the compliment with a grin. “If you get your appetite back, let me know.”

 

“Will do.” Keith heard the sound of someone getting up. The conversation was over, and Lance was about to leave. Keith quickly and quietly walked away from the door, and as soon as he turned the corner he ran. He really shouldn’t have been listening in to their conversation, but he sure as hell didn’t want to be caught.

 

Keith couldn’t help but wonder what exactly their conversation was about, though. It didn’t really make much sense from an outsider’s point of view. Lance was too tired to eat, that made sense. Whenever Keith over exerts himself, his main priority is sleep. He figured Lance was the same, so why was Hunk worried about it? He wondered if Hunk didn’t know Lance trained that night. So many different questions popped into his mind, and he really, really wanted answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two successfully rewritten!!  
> I didn't realize how much I wrote for this chapter until the very end... Whoops!  
> For those who are keeping track of rewritten chapters, I'm hoping to post one or two ever week or so.  
> I'll also upload new chapters after every two or so chapters rewritten until I catch up.  
> Have a great day everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter has been updated!!  
> I've yet to draw something for it, but it'll happen. It's been a hectic past few months, and sorry for my inactivity! But I promise I'm still alive and kicking!  
> More to come <3

That night, Keith made sure to set an alarm to wake him up. He went to sleep at about the same time Lance did, which he always thought was ridiculously early. He woke up around midnight, a time where everyone else was mostly asleep or just inside their rooms getting ready for sleep. He sneaked into the observation room above the training deck, hoping he could get a better view of Lance’s training.

Sure enough, the boy was already there, but it looked like he wasn’t there for too long, as though he had just started. Keith wrote a mental note to come a bit earlier the next night. He was trying to see if he could decipher the boy’s schedule and maybe try to figure out why he does what he does in the process. He didn’t really know why he was putting in so much effort into Lance, the only person in the team he never really liked much, but it almost felt like he had to do this. He sighed, deciding to blame this feeling on curiosity.

“Start training sequence. Three on one.” Lance called out, patiently waiting with his gun on hand. Keith couldn’t help but notice how tired and awful he looked. His body was littered with band-aids, and there seemed to be a red gash on his face. Keith wondered how the hell nobody, including himself, noticed that during the day. It was a relief to see that Lance at least treated his injuries, but he should really just go to the healing pods at this point. Keith half wanted to demand that Lance stopped training, go to a pod, heal up, and then just go to sleep… but that would mean confessing to spying on him. Keith didn’t quite want to admit to that just yet, at least not before he figures out Lance.

Lance was fighting now, and it looked like he was making a huge effort just to stay awake. Keith had absolutely no idea where the boy found the energy to keep dodging, let alone to fight back. It was actually admirable how determined Lance was with his training. He was a lot more different with how he acted. He wasn’t trying to draw attention to himself, or flirt with girls, or crack dumb jokes, or anything that he normally does. He was focused, calm and unyielding. He didn’t even look like he normally did. There weren’t any smiles plastered onto his face, no overly dramatic gestures, and no loud noises. He looked a lot more focused, bland and lifeless. There wasn’t any trace of his flamboyant personality, just a husk of a person. It didn’t feel right. While Keith could admire his perseverance and determination, he had to admit seeing Lance look so emotionless and dead wasn’t exactly something he enjoyed. He watched Lance anyways.

The next day, Keith felt beyond exhausted. He had stayed up even later, desperately wanting to find out what time it was that Lance would call it quits. He ended up nearly passing out on the observation deck, and decided it would be better to go back to his bed and just sleep instead of risk getting caught. Keith walked into the kitchen expecting to see Lance look as tired as he felt. It was certainly a surprise when the other boy didn’t even have bags under his eyes, let alone the scratch Keith noticed the other night. What?

“How?” Keith deadpanned, actually impressed. Was he hallucinating or something? Did he simply dream Lance was out training last night?

“How what, Keith?” Shiro asked with a raised brow. Keith looked at him for a brief moment before shaking his head.

“It’s nothing. I’m just thinking aloud.” Keith shrugged and sat down on the table, in front of Lance and beside Shiro. It didn’t take much time for Keith to notice Lance was avoiding eye contact with him. That was relatively odd. “Hey.” Keith ventured to ask. Lance briefly looked at him.

“Hi?” He gave a small smile, before looking away again and getting up. He then walked over to Hunk. “Any way I can help big guy?” Keith suddenly felt a wave of frustration hit him. Why was Lance ignoring him?

“Nah. I’m good over here.” Hunk offered a smile. “Thanks though.” Lance nodded, hesitantly walking back towards the table. He sat down soundlessly, placing his chin on his hand. The kitchen was silent for a moment since none of the paladins were awake enough for a conversation.

“What?” Lance asked, looking jaded at Keith. “Do I have something on my face?” It was then that Keith realized he was staring.

“No.” The black haired boy shrugged, and decided to look anywhere but at Lance. “It’s nothing.” He said, hoping lance wouldn’t care too much.

Just as expected, Lance didn’t bat an eye. Instead he shrugged and looked away. Keith couldn’t help but realize how awkward the air between them was right now, and he couldn’t understand why. Before, they weren’t exactly friends, but they still had some level of communication… Right? It was then that Keith started wondering if he had actually ever tried to hold a decent, non-paladin related conversation with Lance before this. He didn’t really come up with anything memorable. Had he actually ever tried to get to know Lance? Looking over at the blue paladin, the answer was a clear no.

“So… how did you sleep?” Keith tried. He noticed Shiro look up at him curiously, wondering what exactly he was trying to do. It was painfully obvious that this kind of interaction was a bit out of character for Keith, but he had to try if he wanted to get to know Lance better. Lance looked over at the boy with a brow lifted inquisitively. A couple of seconds passed before he realized that Keith was actually talking to him.

“Alright I guess.” He shrugged. “And you?” This entire interaction felt awkward for both parties, but Keith figured it was better than the silence. The red paladin offered a soft smile.

“I slept just fine.” It was an obvious lie, he knew he looked like crap, but he figured it would be a bit odd trying to explain why he was up watching Lance train until some unholy hour of the morning.

“Cool.” Lance nodded, and looked away again. He clearly wasn’t interested in having a conversation with Keith right now, but Keith wasn’t one to give up so easily.

“Do you have any plans for the day?” Keith asked, trying his best to sound as pleasant as he could. Lance looked at him again, this time it seemed he was a little antsy. Keith frowned slightly. Did he say something wrong?

“Not really.” He said hesitantly, almost as if he expected Keith to say something negative or bad towards him. Keith is usually pretty bad at understanding people, that wasn’t really his forte, but Lance made it pretty damn clear that his opinion of Keith wasn’t too great. The black haired boy had to admit that stung, but he for some reason he couldn’t help but want to change Lance’s mind.

“Fair enough.” Keith tried his best not to sound too disappointed with how ridiculously one sided and forced this conversation was.

On a normal day, Lance would be bothering him endlessly with some sort of barrage of witty comments or sassy remarks. He’d be annoying the hell out of Keith and laughing all the while. On a normal day, they’d banter with each other, trading insults in the name of some sort of rivalry that Lance had declared. If Keith had to be honest, then he’d admit that he actually enjoyed himself a bit in those moments where he and Lance argued. He liked the attention Lance gave him, even if it was nothing but annoying bickering. It was the closest he had ever gotten to having a friend to argue with. That being said he still found it incredibly irritating when Lance would slack off… but now he knew better.

Today was not a normal day. Lance would normally boast about something or make some sort of joke to try and rile him up and start something. He was quiet, looking away and acting distant, at least towards Keith. The red paladin didn’t want to admit it, but it felt awful being treated like this. Ironically, he used to constantly wish Lance would leave him alone. Wish granted, he supposed.

Eventually, breakfast was done and over with. All of the paladins split off to do their own things before they would start training together or before they were summoned to fight the Galra. Pidge and Hunk went somewhere to work on Pidge’s hover board, Shiro went with Allura to talk about potential missions for Voltron, Coran went to do maintenance on the ship, and Lance just wondered off somewhere. Normally, Keith would go out and train a bit on his own while, but he didn’t really feel up to it right now.

Keith couldn’t stop thinking about Lance and his new attitude towards the red paladin. It was so bizarre. What was even more bizarre was how much Keith was bothered by it. Normally he wouldn’t bat an eye to whatever Lance was doing, but this one felt personal. Their relationship was rocky at best, but he still felt like Lance and him were friends to some extent. Now it just felt like they were back to square one, or maybe even further back considering Lance didn’t seem to want to deal with him right now.

Keith wondered if Lance had ever done this before, and if he simply hadn’t noticed. He wondered if he actually really even cared. Honestly, all he wanted to do was figure out what Lance was doing practicing late at night and why. Curiosity was all that was keeping him interested in Lance, and after his questions were answered… then what? Would they be closer? Would they go back to the mock hatred they seemed to share? He supposed that in the end it didn’t matter if Lance hated him or not… Though for some reason he’d rather it be the latter.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. The paladins at some point met up and started practicing team building exercises and fighting as a team. Lance was acting a bit more normal now, but he still avoided Keith if he could. Keith was finding it harder and harder to focus on the fight, and could only wonder what it is that he did to piss off Lance this badly. He managed to get by training with only a few concerned stares from Shiro, one annoyed glance from Pidge and zero comments from Lance. Though he almost wished Lance had made fun of him for being so out of focus, at least then Lance would willingly acknowledge him.

“Focus, Keith.” Shiro tried. Keith noticed he looked exhausted. Normally, it was Lance he had to tell to focus. Lance’s performance was anything but stellar, as per usual, but it was far better than Keith’s at least. Keith figured that Shiro counted on him not to be a problem in the training field. Not like Lance. The thought made his blood boil.

When training was declared over with, Shiro pulled Keith aside with a worried look radiating off his face. “Are you feeling alright, Keith?” He asked in the brotherly concerned voice Keith had associated with him. Keith sighed, feeling frustrated.

“I’m fine.” He thought back to all the times Shiro would chastise Lance, had he ever pulled him out to a separate room to ask if anything was wrong? Keith couldn’t remember.

“Are you sure? You’ve been acting a little… off… since this morning.” Shiro was thinking back to his interaction with Lance. It really wasn’t like that to try and talk to the other paladin out of the blue… though he supposed it wasn’t really like Lance to just brush someone off the way he did. Had Shiro even noticed? Had anyone? “Did Lance say something to you?” Keith suddenly felt a fit of rage wash over him.

“Why do you think it’s always Lance’s fault?” He barked furiously. He immediately regretted his outburst when he saw the shocked expression on Shiro’s face, but he refused to back down. He was hot tempered, and Shiro knows that, but it didn’t make his point any less valid.

“I’m not saying it is… I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on.” Shiro said calmly and softly. On a normal day, he knew how to handle Keith, but today was not a normal day.

“So the first conclusion you came up with was that, somehow, Lance has to be involved in whatever’s wrong with me?” Keith honestly didn’t know where all of this resentment came from. Sure, he was pretty pissed off at how incredibly futile all of his attempts at understanding Lance were going. Sure, he was pretty mad that Lance didn’t get as much credit as he deserved, though it was partly his own fault. He thought it was incredibly unfair to the blue paladin. And, sure, he hated how nobody seemed to notice how incredibly fake everything Lance did was. But, he couldn’t figure out why it affected him so much. Shiro really didn’t know what was going on with Lance, no one did. The only reason Keith was privy to all of this was because one night he just couldn’t sleep.

“…Is he?” Shiro was incredibly perceptive, and Keith hated that about him sometimes. Keith drew in a big breath, calming his nerves. He needed to think rationally about this, which really wasn’t his forte.

“No. Yes? I don’t know.” He finally answered. He really didn’t know. “He’s been acting strangely, or at least I think he has? Nobody seems to notice and…” Keith’s voice was hushed to a murmur. He really didn’t know how to go about this. “He won’t talk to me. I’m pretty sure I did something to piss him off, but I’m not sure what.” He thought about telling Shiro about Lance’s late night training sessions, but decided against it. There must be a reason for why Lance decided to keep it a secret.

“Maybe you should give him some time. I’m sure it’s nothing too serious. After all, Lance is known to being a drama queen.” Shiro offered a smile. “I can talk to him if you’d like. If you thin-“

“No.” Keith said firmly, interrupting Shiro. “I don’t want you having to solve my problems for me.” He sighed. “This is between Lance and I.” Shiro nodded.

“Okay, but if you change your mind, I’m here.” Keith nodded. Shiro took a deep breath. “And if you still think he’s acting weird, let me know. As his leader and friend I’m responsible for taking care of him… of all of you. I don’t want to risk not talking to him until it’s too late.” Keith nodded again, this time feeling a little bit bitter. Would something happen?

Later that day, just like the previous one, Keith found himself wondering into the observation room just above the training deck. As expected, Lance was already there, though it looked like he had just gotten there himself. He was still getting ready to start training, and none of the programs had been activated yet. Keith applauded himself for finally getting there around the same time as Lance. His small achievement was quickly forgotten when he saw Lance start to take off his dark olive green jacket. He noticed a red smudge across white bandages on the arm he had gotten hit on. It didn’t look too bad, but Lance definitely should be resting up that arm or going into a healing pod to fix his wounds. He also noticed his arms were littered with band-aids and some bruises. Keith couldn’t help but frown.

Training started, and Keith noticed Lance was mostly taking it lightly today. It was a relief to know Lance knew he had limits and wasn’t just training recklessly. The night continued, and eventually Keith went back to his room when he felt he was dangerously close to falling asleep. This started to become a nightly habit. Keith would come to the observation room around the same time Lance went inside the training deck. Keith would watch Lance until he couldn’t anymore, and then stay a little bit longer. Then one or the other would leave, not to be seen again until morning.

Eventually, after many hours of watching, Keith found out that Lance sleeps in for about four to five hours each night, begins training at around 11:30pm and tends to leave at 3am or 4am depending on the day and how tired he was. He noticed that sometimes he wouldn’t go straight to bed, but rather he wondered around the halls for a bit, or at least it looked like it. Keith never had the courage to follow him any further than the training deck; instead he always promised himself that some other time he’d figure it out. He didn’t want to fully invade Lance’s privacy, as curious as he was he knew that simply watching him train was bad enough.

Keith noticed that Lance’s wounds would heal up nicely, only to be replaced with new ones. Sometimes, it kind of seemed like Lance would purposefully act reckless during his training to get hit. Keith shrugged off that thought easily, after all, who would want to get hurt on purpose?

Lance also eventually started treating him like he normally would, and acted like nothing ever happened. Keith still didn’t understand what he had done to get out of Lance’s good graces, or what he had done to get back in it. He was just glad Lance was talking to him again, although their conversations didn’t go any further then their typical banter. Sometimes Keith would try to ask a personal question or start a casual conversation with Lance, it either ended pretty awkwardly or pretty decently. There was really no in between.

Soon, a little over a week had passed. The paladins were thankful for this small break they had from fighting the Galra. It was always nice when they got some downtime like this. They had a lot to do and many planets to save, but a break here and there was always welcomed. One day, however, while everyone was eating lunch the castle’s alarms rang loudly, screaming about the incoming threat. “Paladins, there is a large incoming fleet of Galra. This is a large-scale ambush. Hold them off and win if you can. I’ll prepare the Teludav in case we need an escape route. Coran and I will support you as best as we can.” Allura ordered and, dutifully, each of the five paladins got into their respective lions.

Hunk groaned, obviously displeased that he had to abandon the warm meal he was more than ready to consume. “Why can’t the Galra come attack us some other time?” He sighed. “Why is it always when we’re eating?” He complained as he started piloting his yellow lion out of the castle. Lance couldn’t help but chuckle softly at his friend’s woes.

“Don’t worry buddy, you’ll have that warm meal waiting for you when you get back, alright?” Lance had a way of making people smile and laugh; it was a part of his charm. He was loud and boisterous, but he was still somehow calming. Keith noticed that Lance was always there when someone was feeling down, and that also included Keith. He’s subtle about it too, acting like he’s there as a coincidence or a twist of fate.

“Yeah, you’re right Lance.” Hunk laughed. “Alright, let’s go kick some Galra butt.” The team cheered as they piloted their lions out of the castle and into the battlefield.

The fleet was composed of all small fighter space crafts and one singular large battleship. It was looking like this would be a big fight, one that they would have to work together in order to escape or even win. “The main goal is to defend the castle and buy Allura enough time to create a wormhole. When it’s ready, we’re leaving. This isn’t a battle we have to win, just survive.” Shiro said as a matter of fact. “Is everyone ready?” The paladins all responded with yeses, causing Shiro to smile softly. “Alright, good. Let’s do this team!” Everyone yelled enthusiastically, moving out into battle.

There were fighter crafts everywhere; if Lance blindly shot his blaster at any direction he’d probably land an easy hit. Thankfully, in this case, numbers didn’t mean much when it came to skill. The entire team was doing well, evading and attacking with skill and precision. Hunk drove his lion to head-butt every Galra ship he could reach, even making it throw some of the destroyed ships at other ships causing a chain of explosions. Pidge was shooting lasers left and right, often sneaking up behind enemy lines with the cloaking device she implemented to her lion a while back. Shiro was using the jaw blade to slice and dice the enemy ships. Keith and Lance were melting and freezing the enemy as quickly as possible, trimming down their numbers. The castle was also firing at any Galran ship that threatened the team.

Everyone was doing their best fending off the Galra. They were working in unison and they had each other’s backs. Whenever an enemy ship threatened to shoot at the castle or at another paladin, someone would immediately shoot it down. They were a team and they fought like one.

“Lance, there’s a ship flanking on the right.” Pidge noted, unfortunately too far away to do anything about the ship.

“On it.” Lance immediately went towards the direction Pidge mentioned, easily shooting it down within seconds. He was about to turn around and join the rest of the paladins when his eye caught something. He wasn’t quite sure what he saw, he thought it looked like a small shimmer, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared. He wondered if it was his mind playing tricks on him, and for a short second he was almost tempted to ignore it. He felt slightly silly for doing this, but he decided to shoot to where he had seen the shimmer. He wasn’t really surprised when he saw absolutely nothing, he sighed and started turning Blue back into the fight.

Suddenly and randomly, as he was about to make his way back Lance saw the small shimmer reappear and with it several more ships surrounding a second battleship. This battleship, unlike the other, was armed with a quintessence canon pointing directly at the castle.

“Uh, guys?” Lance didn’t quite know what to say. “You might want to take a look at this.” He immediately started attacking as many ships as he could, not waiting even waiting for a response from his team. He also noticed that the battleship had its canon start to charge for an attack.

“This isn’t good.” Shiro frowned looking at the new set of enemies. “Allura, how close are you to getting us out of here?” He asked.

“I just need a few more ticks.” She said in a serious tone. “Paladins, get ready to move out.” She and Coran were working as fast as they possibly could, but they could only work so fast and unfortunately for them, the surprise battleship was ready before they were. An immense purple beam was shot and made its way to the castle point blank.

Although the castle defenses were still up, there was only so much damage it could take before things get critical. The Galra’s quintessence beam was a deadly weapon; two hits would probably be more than enough to breach the defenses and maybe even damage the castle. Allura knew that taking a direct hit would make the Teludav take a while longer to work properly, but she had faith that her paladins would somehow manage to buy her some more time. She signed, ready to take on whatever came her way. She was, however, surprised when the blast didn’t hit.

Lance didn’t hesitate when he put his lion right in between the castle and the quintessence beam and fired his own laser, hoping that would at least lessen the blow. He swore he’d defend the castle and he wasn’t about to turn back on his word as a paladin. He sighed and closed his eyes. “We can handle this, Blue.” He was gripping tightly to the edge of his seat, trying to calm himself with deep breaths. These few seconds spent in anticipation felt like long, agonizing hours. He felt his heartbeat quicken and his hands were hot and clammy. He was scared. He opened his eyes, staring at the beam as it quickly made it’s way towards him at an alarming speed. “Bring it.”

“LANCE!” Hunk yelled out as he watched the beam hit Lance full force. Hunk wasn’t one to dwell in negative thoughts, he fully expected his best friend to say something cocky to let him know he’s fine. He would even settle with a sound, any sound.

There was only silence.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 officially updated!  
> And with a different styled drawing... sorry about that! I just kind of had a bit of an art block  
> For older readers, thank you for rereading everything and for giving BtS a second chance! I really hope you're enjoying it and liking it more than how it was before! Thank you so, so much for inspiring me to keep writing this and making it better. I couldn't have gotten this far without you!  
> For new readers, it's awesome to have you guys on board! Currently, I'm reworking and rewriting the old chapters. I thought they weren't as good as I wanted them to be, I still don't feel like they're the best they could be... but definitely better than before. I apologize if you're reading this while I'm still working on it... I'm sure a few things don't make sense right now, or seem a bit like a crappy Chekhov's Gun syndrome... but I swear it isn't.  
> Thank you everyone so much!!  
> I hope all of you have the absolute best day you could ever have!

The paladins stared as the blue lion floated away motionless and stiff into the Galra infested space. Hunk yelled in frustration, feeling hot tears streak his face. He immediately became more aggressive towards the Galra ships that were still functional, practically launching his lion like a bowling balls and the Galra were the pins. He was ready to take them all out and Pidge was more than ready to join him in his rampage. Pidge might have not been as close to Lance as Hunk, but he was still a close friend of hers and she did not like loss.

Keith was wide eyed; he never expected something like this to happen. There was always the chance of someone in the team dying, but he just couldn’t imagine it ever happening… even if they were in the middle of a war. Shock wasn’t the only thing that Keith felt, however, he also couldn’t help but feel like something precious was taken away from him. The thought sat with him for a second. Lance McClain? Precious? No way. He must be feeling something else. Worry, perhaps. Keith immediately started piloting his lion towards the blue lion. “I’ll get Lance.” He said, shooting towards any ships around Lance and his lion determined to protect him, or at least what remained.

“Allura?” Shiro was angry, and he needed to get his team out of there as soon as possible. He knew Lance did what had to be done, and he knew that there was a slim chance of them holding out much longer against such a large fleet and an ambush. He knew there wasn’t much else that could be done. Despite all of this, he couldn’t help shake off the feeling that maybe he could’ve done better and that maybe Lance didn’t have to take on such a big hit, at least not alone.

“Keith, get Lance inside the castle. Paladins get ready now; the wormhole is up in five. Four. Three. Two...” She counted down as she created their escape rout to far, far away from where they were currently. She felt her heart weigh heavy, but knew she had to focus on getting everyone out. She’d take care of Lance later, making sure he’ll be good as new in no time.

Lance weakly opened his eyes, coughing wildly as pain struck him everywhere. He felt a warm liquid drip from his lips, blood. He grimaced, wiping off the blood that he coughed up. “Blue? Are you okay?” He whispered softly, trying to get a grasp on the situation. He heard his lion whimper to him slightly, Blue had taken a big blow. “Sorry pal.” He mumbled, feeling pain with every breath he took. He saw a glimpse of the red lion heading his way; Keith was coming to save his ass again. Damn. Of course he was. He then looked at the multitude of Galra ships heading their way, ready to start firing at Keith. Keith could dodge their beams, but there were too many of them for him not to take damage. Lance groaned. If he was going to make Keith save him again, he might as well make sure he doesn’t get hit in the process.

He sighed, knowing Blue was going to be out of commission for a while and probably wouldn’t be able to help him much right now. He took a deep breath and willed himself to stand up, forcing himself to ignore the alarming amount of pain he felt, and took out his Bayard to put it into rifle mode. He took a second deep breath, making sure his helmet now covered his entire face and conserved oxygen for outer space. “Open up Blue.” He said softly, hearing Blue groan in response. The lion obviously had little to no energy left in him, but he obliged regardless.

Lance waited for a few seconds, for Blue to open up his mouth, and walked towards the edge of Blue’s jaw. He could see the scenery in front of him very well; he saw how beautifully the stars lit up the area, giving an assortment of lights that brought light and beauty into the darkness of space. He saw the endless void filled with so much and yet still so empty. He saw his comrades fighting in the empty space and he saw that there were too many ships, too many targets. He decided he would hit all of the Galra... or at least try to.

He readied himself, making sure he wouldn’t accidentally float out of his lion, and took a steady breath to calm his nerves and hopefully subside the nearly paralyzing pain that wouldn’t leave. He started shooting at the ships, aiming and shooting as quickly as possible, missing none of his targets. He turned his communicator on, hoping that his team could hear him. “Hey, what did I miss? Blue went offline.” He tried not to sound as pained as he felt as he continued to shoot down the many ships in front of him. Every small movement was an exceptionally arduous and painful task, even breathing was hard and agonizing; he sometimes held his breath hoping to ease the pain, but it didn’t go away as quickly as he hoped. He decided that from now on he would try to avoid getting hit by quintessence beams.

“Lance!” Almost simultaneously, Pidge and Hunk yelled in relief. They were glad to know their friend was alive and well. “Not much buddy, just a lot of Galra butt kicking.” Hunk said with a smile on his face.

“Are you okay?” Keith asked as he piloted his lion closer and closer to Blue until it was close enough to latch on. When Red grabbed onto Blue, in order to start moving him towards the castle, Lance went back inside his lion. His body thanked him when he sat back down in the familiar leathery seat, glad to be able to stay still.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He lied. “Blue took the bulk of the damage.” He closed his eyes. He felt dizzy, and he was more than ready to pass out for good. He snapped his eyes back open. He had to stay awake. “Did the castle get hit?” He asked, hoping he managed to completely body block the beam. He kept fighting the urge to fall asleep. The team was still in combat, and he needed to be awake to help them if they needed him.

“Not even a scratch.” It was Shiro that spoke this time. “Good work Lance.” Lance felt himself smile softly. “But be more careful next time, you didn’t have to take that beam all by yourself.” And the smile was gone. Did Shiro think he couldn’t handle it? He wouldn’t be wrong. Lance could barely even stay awake. He felt like it didn’t matter in the end, however. Compared to the castle, as well as everyone else in Voltron, his life was meaningless. If him dying made sure they managed to survive and escape this ambush, then he would gladly die without a single regret. He felt Blue snarl at him.

“Sure thing.” He responded, trying to sound like he usually did. He winced a bit, realizing how hoarse his voice sounded. Luckily, no one noticed. Lance wasn’t too surprised at that, however. No one really ever notices. After skillfully hiding every single injury he’s harbored for so long, he was a master at it.

He looked at his arm, the one where he had been stabbed by the droid. It had gotten a lot better, going from a deep cut to a healing scratch. Now, however, it felt like it was a thousand times worse. All of his injuries did. It’s like that beam worsened every single one of his injuries, and the only thing keeping him from fully feeling its effects was the numbness. He felt like he was dying, but at the same time he didn’t. He felt pain, but didn’t. It was like it was a faraway concept, like his mind was too busy drifting away to notice. He didn’t mind the feeling all too much, it was like taking a break from reality. He felt himself wish he could literally take a break from reality, but he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t afford to slack off too much.

He felt his mind wavering from conscious to unconscious. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he knew he had to stay awake. If someone needed him, he had to be there. The noises from the battlefield felt distant, and eventually disappeared. He figured that either he went deaf, or he was inside the castle. Keith Kogane once more had to fix his mistakes, but that was a common theme by now.

Soon after the red and blue lions entered the castle, it went through the wormhole Allura had just opened up. The rest of the lions followed closely, entering the wormhole as quickly as possible and shooting down any Galra ship that tried to follow them. For now, the castle and its lions were safe in another galaxy, hopefully free of any of the Galra or any other aggressive group. Thankfully, none of the Galra ships managed to enter in time to follow in pursuit. Pidge had mentioned that they were probably ambushed because of that one scouting ship they had encountered. Though they were in constant movement, it seemed they were easy to track since they hadn’t used the Teludav.

Once they were safely in the castle, Keith quickly hopped off his lion and went over to check on Lance. He figured the boy was fine, he sounded pretty much like he usually did, but he wanted to be certain. He didn’t know why he desperately wanted to guarantee Lance’s well being, but he couldn’t help himself. Something at the back of his mind was gnawing at him, urging him to check on his friend. It was a strong desire, and Keith didn’t have time to think much on it. “Lance?” He asked softly, waiting for the blue lion to lower its head and open its mouth. “Come on, open up already!” He grumbled impatiently. “Lance?” He said a little bit more worriedly when no response came.

Lance was out of focus, he couldn’t really think straight. Everything felt like it was so distant, like he was just watching his life in front of a television. He didn’t feel like he was a part of it, and he didn’t feel like he could do anything. Thankfully, Blue decided to take matters into her own hand. She lowered her head, and allowed Keith access. She quietly, and worriedly purred at Lance. She could feel his consciousness fading a bit, but she had hope that the red paladin could help.

“Finally.” Keith breathed, feeling his tense nerves relax a bit. Surely Lance was just pranking him, it was clearly a bad joke. Right? He had hoped it was. He quickly went inside the blue lion as he took off his helmet. He was confused when he realized Lance was still sitting in his chair, instead of getting up to greet him. “Lance?”

The other boy was slow to realize Keith had entered blue. How did that happen? Everything felt so sluggish, like time had slowed down. He barely reacted when he finally heard Keith shout his name. Though when he heard the worry in his voice, he felt his mind sharpen a bit. Keith was worried about him. That was the last thing he wanted.

“I’m here.” The Cuban finally said, turning his head to look at the red paladin. Keith saw Lance flash him another one of his false smiles, he was used to recognizing them by now. He walked over to the pilot’s seat, taking a closer look at the boy, and he immediately felt dread. It wasn’t hard to notice how weary he looked, more than usual. He looked worse for wear, and there was a rich red smudge on his lips that branched a bit onto his chin. Keith realized that was blood, he began to get even more worried. He also noticed a strange red blemish on his cheek. Keith remembered that was the same spot where he had seen the scratch a couple of days ago. It was almost like the wound reopened itself, but there was something trying to hide the fact. Makeup. Keith realized that Lance had covered it up with makeup, no wonder he couldn’t find a single trace of it before. He suddenly felt sick with the realization that Lance was in a state of constant lying. He lied about his late night practices. He lied about his sleeping habits. He lied about his feelings. And now, Keith realized, he lied about his injuries.

He watched as the brunette stood up, a bit slower than usual. “Thanks for the lift.” He started to walk over to Keith, every step feeling like he was stepping on knives. Lance would normally hate the sensation, but it was waking him up from his drowsiness. Keith could tell that something was horribly wrong with Lance. It wasn’t hard to notice how beat up and pained Lance was, as long as you searched for the signs. He was expressive, even when he tried to hide it. How did Keith not realize this sooner? The raven-haired paladin took a deep breath, trying to keep his temper in check. He felt incredibly pissed off at Lance right now, but he needed to focus on giving the boy the medical attention he needed.

Keith sighed, walking towards Lance and wrapping the tall boy’s arm around him and then his own arm around the boy’s waist. “Keith?” Lance looked surprised for a bit. “Can’t get enough of me huh?” He quickly recovered, saying something smooth with hopes to distract Keith from his blunder. He was starting to feel more awake now, so that was good. The only downside being that he also started to feel the pain more prominently.

“Shut up, idiot.” Keith rolled his eyes. “You can barely walk, and we need to get you to one of the healing pods.” Lance knew he had a point, but he always hated when Keith was right… especially when it concerned him. Keith was acting rather odd about it though. Usually, Keith was always cocky and ready to prove Lance wrong in some form or another, which normally led to the boys bickering back and forth. This time, however, Keith didn’t seem like he was trying to prove a point. This time, it looked like Keith was just concerned with maybe a hint of anger.

Lance stared at Keith for the longest time, trying to understand what was happening. The Cuban had expected him to make some sort of sarcastic, maybe chastising comment about probably something stupid… but he seemed genuinely worried. There were, of course, other moments where Keith was worried about Lance, but they were usually a life or death situation and that was not the case here. Or at least that’s what Lance had hoped was the case.

He thought back to their fight with Sendak. He remembered almost dying, but it felt different then what he was feeling now. There, he couldn’t stay awake for long enough to do anything useful, and it was a miracle he was coherent enough to shoot Sendak when he did. Right now, he just felt pain. Well, that isn’t to say he didn’t feel pain when he took the blast from the explosion, but that felt different, too. The pain he felt right now was like something was pulsating in his body, in his veins. It was like this unknown force was taking every single injury he had and worsening it by the second, while also filling him with some sort of wicked strength that was tearing him apart. He remembered the fight with Sendak again, and how he was more than sure he was going to die there. Now, however, he wasn’t sure he knew what dying felt like anymore. Right now there was only pain, but he didn’t really mind that.

Keith noticed the sudden change in Lance’s facial expression. He knew that if Lance weren’t so… out of it… he’d probably be masking his face with another smile. He was also quick to realize that he harbored a dark expression. That expression looked so unnaturally perverse on Lance’s face, it just didn’t suit him. It was so grim… so harsh… But despite how depressing that expression was, Keith was thankful that it was something genuine. It was like a breath of fresh air with Lance, even if that fresh air smelled like shit. He bit his lip softly, deciding he should probably snap Lance out of whatever trance he was in and get him to the healing pods. “Stop staring and lean on me already.” And just like that, Lance was brought back from his thoughts. He blinked a bit dumbfounded before doing as told. Keith thought the action was a little charming, if not for the circumstances.

“Thanks…” Lance said this slowly; he was still not quite sure how to react towards what was going on. Keith nodded solemnly. He started directing Lance out of the Blue lion, and towards the healing pods.

Keith stealthily took another look at Lance. He no longer had such a grim expression haunting his face, but instead harbored one of complete blankness. It almost felt like he wasn’t really there at all, at least not mentally. Surely this was just because of how injured he was, right? Keith wished he knew the answer to that. The thought that this is how Lance would actually look at life if he didn’t have all of those false smiles plastered on his face was unnerving. It was then that he remembered how Lance looked like when he was training alone. He looked lifeless then, just like he does now.

“Are you okay?” Keith ventured to ask, looking carefully at Lance. He noticed the boy blink again, and his face twisted to one of realization. He immediately put on another smile for Keith, but it didn’t fool him. Not anymore.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He offered, looking at Keith with his beady blue eyes. Keith bit his lip, keeping himself from saying anything else. He needed to talk to Lance about this, but he should wait until the other doesn’t look like Death flirtatiously slapped him on the ass. Keith sighed, knowing perfectly well that this was really none of his business. This all started because he wanted to know why Lance was practicing late at night. He still didn’t know the answer to that question, but he didn’t care about that right now. There was a set of more pressing questions he wanted answered instead.

Why did Lance hide his injuries from the team?

Why did he look so lifeless when he didn’t have a smile on his face?

Why did he act like everything was fine?

Why did no one ever notice?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five is done!!  
> For the sake of time constraints, I'm probably not going to end up doing a drawing for every chapter. Or rather, I'll wait until I've finally caught up to where I stopped before, and maybe draw out my favorite scenes (or any scenes you guys request)   
> That way I'll catch up faster and f i n a l l y give you guys a continuation and ending for this fic. (It's about time I do that really)  
> Thanks everyone for being patient with me! I really like this fic, and I want to do it right so I can be at least a little bit more prideful of my work.   
> \---  
> old comment:  
> Sorry this took me forever to upload!!! I'm taking summer classes to get some more credits and that's been lowkey killing me slowly.  
> But I'd like to thank you all for giving my story a chance and reading it!! You guys are absolutely awesome!! I hope you're enjoying it so far :)  
> Also, I was wondering if you guys would rather I write longer chapters, though they would take longer to write. Or do you prefer shorter but quicker updates?

It wasn’t long before the other paladins made their way into the castle, and landed their lions. Their minds could only think of Lance and seeing how he was doing, but by then the two boys were already halfway towards the pods.

 

Coran was fast to make his way to greet them with an enthusiastic smile on his face. “Number three! It’s good to see you’re not dead!” He cheered, earning a frown from Keith and a chuckle from Lance. “How are you feeling?” Lance smiled, he always thought Coran had such an interesting way of communicating.

 

“I’m ok.” He shrugged. “That beam was nothing.”

 

Keith looked up at Lance, who was still leaning on him and looking like absolute shit, and wondered how he was so naturally good at lying. He thought back to just a few weeks ago, wondering how different everything would be if Lance had gotten shot then. For one, Keith wasn’t sure he’d offer to be Lance’s crutch. Lance was good at pretending he was fine, and Keith was good at not noticing things. Nobody would realize how messed up Lance got from taking the quintessence ray head on. Lance would leave the healing pod and everything would go back to how it was after a couple of hugs and several people saying “don’t do that again.” All the while Lance wouldn’t say a thing. Keith couldn’t help but feel irritated.

 

“Wonderful! Well, I’m off to go greet the other Paladins! Carry on!” And with that, Coran left just as quickly as he had arrived. The two boys then continued to make their way towards the infirmary without a second thought.

 

“It wasn’t nothing.” Keith hissed once Coran was out of earshot. He was challenging Lance, trying to pry any piece of information from him. He knew he should wait until after Lance wasn’t half dead before barraging him with questions to try and understand him better. He wasn’t known for his patience.

 

Lance was simply silent for a while, clearly thinking of a good enough answer to give. Keith wondered if it was going to be another lie, and if it was he was ready to shut it down. Finally, after a long pause, Lance opened his mouth to speak. “I don’t like making you guys worry, at least not about me.” He stated simply with a shrug. Lance offered a half-truth, hoping Keith wouldn’t look too deep into his answer.

 

“We’re a team, we are supposed to worry about each other.” Keith looked up at Lance, and noticed his face grow a little bit darker. He wondered what the boy was thinking, and also if he had said something wrong. Lance was silent again, and it was quite obvious he wasn’t interested in going to go any deeper in this conversation. Despite this, Keith refused to back down. “Lance?” He said softly, encouraging Lance to open up more.

 

Lance looked at Keith now, completely surprised with how gentle he sounded. Regardless, Lance wasn’t about to confide in Keith and he’d rather the other just stop trying to understand him or whatever it is he was doing. He noticed that the past few weeks, Keith had been trying to start talking to him more. Lance would normally gladly accept anyone as his friend, regardless of what they’ve done in the past. However, it didn’t feel like Keith genuinely wanted to be his friend and it didn’t even feel like he wanted to use Lance for any reason. If Lance was being honest, it felt like Keith was trying to pity him, and Lance absolutely hated that.

 

Lance still vividly remembered Keith’s words to him in the hallway. “Do you even want to be here?” His words felt like they were coated with poison, and it still hadn’t left Lance’s system. Then, the next day Keith is trying desperately to talk to him and be nice. Lance knows it’s a bit unfair that he’s holding this against Keith, and he should be grateful the other boy is even trying to be nice. But he hates it. He hates the pity, and the forced attention. He’d much rather Keith had just left him alone.

 

“Drop it.” Lance said a bit too sternly, surprising Keith. He immediately regretted opening his mouth, especially since he knew Keith was just trying to be a friend… even if he was doing it out of some sort of pity or guilt. He hated it, but it wasn’t an excuse to act like an ass. “Sorry, I- “ He took a deep breath. The one thing he didn’t understand, however, was how Keith looked genuinely concerned. Someone who does things out of guilt wouldn’t genuinely care, would they? They’d act like they do, but they don’t. Lance knows the type _very_ well. “Why do you care?” He stopped walking all of a sudden, and just stared at Keith. He needed to know right now.

 

“We’re in the same team. It’s my job to care.” Keith hesitated to answer. Honestly? What he just said was bogus, a lie. He cared not because he had to, but because he couldn’t do anything else. He cared because he was curious about Lance. He cared because he wanted him to be happy and safe. He cared because he couldn’t stop thinking about him. Lance was an enigma, and Keith wanted to understand him.

Lance sighed.

 

They were in the same team. Of course it was some ridiculous reason like this that made Keith Kogane gave a shit. Without him they wouldn’t be able to form Voltron, unfortunately. At least it made sense. Keith was always a business first kind of guy. Aside from Shiro, the mission was the most important thing to him. Maybe that’s why he felt guilty. It could be because he didn’t want Lance to quit like Pidge almost did. There was also the maybe that Keith did genuinely want to be his friend, but Lance doubted it. However, regardless of what prompted Keith to act friendlier, Lance realized he should probably start acting like that too.

 

“Whatever you say.” He continued on walking, practically pulling Keith with him. This time however, it was Keith who stopped dead in his tracks. Lance looked at him with a bored expression.

 

“That’s it?” Keith was a bit annoyed. Lance shot him a confused glance; he wasn’t quite understanding what he was bothered by this time. “You’re not giving me anything?” What was there to give? Keith didn’t have to deal with any of Lance’s problems, and Lance wanted to keep it that way especially if he was trying to be nice out of pity.

 

“Nope.” Lance grinned mischievously. Keith groaned, kind of annoyed, and looked away. Lance was starting to get tired of this conversation. It was edging closer and closer into unwanted territory. “But hey, Keith.” He looked back up at Lance, expectantly. “Last one’s a rotten egg.”

 

“What?” Keith was genuinely confused, that is, until Lance let go of him and began running. Keith stared dumbfounded at the injured, running boy. How could he run when he could barely walk?  “Lance!” Keith didn’t know what to think, so instead he ran after the moron.  

 

Lance was chuckling, everything hurt but he didn’t care. Every step felt like walking on top of knives, every breath was a sharp, painful inhale, and every movement was an aching reminder of how badly he was hurt. But he didn’t care, he ignored every aching bone in his body simply because he wanted to mess with Keith. He felt uncomfortable with the talk that they had, and he felt weird with how close they were physically and almost emotionally. He wanted to go back to pretending to hate Keith, but still messing around with him. He wanted to make sure Keith didn’t care that much anymore, and he wanted Keith to go back to focusing on what was important on his life and not have to bother worrying over someone like Lance. If it was out of pity or not, Keith had better things to do than to deal with Lance. “You’re losing to an injured man, Mullet!” Lance yelled out, teasing Keith like he usually did. He continued running closer and closer towards the infirmary, until he saw it right in front of him across the hall.

 

Keith was fuming now, he hated how Lance easily disregarded his injuries but he despised how Lance was teasing him right now. He honestly felt like they could have gotten somewhere and had a bonding moment or something, one that Lance would hopefully remember this time. He willed himself to move as fast as he possibly could, and then even faster. He was not about to lose to Lance, even if he was badly wounded.

 

In the end Keith barely managed to catch up in time for a tie, but he did it. Now the two boys were standing inside the infirmary, breathing wildly and trying to calm their beating hearts. “That was stupid.” Keith said in between breaths. He was leaning over, supporting his hands on his knees and letting his head drop comfortably.

 

Lance couldn’t help but laugh. It really was stupid, but he didn’t care. It was fun. Keith immediately looked up, surprised to see Lance laugh so genuinely. There wasn’t any false smiles or fake expressions; it was all pure and true. Keith alone had the privilege to see him laugh like that, and that laugh was all his. Keith smiled softly, somehow feeling a comfortable warm sensation in his heart. He promised himself in a silent whisper that he’d hear that laugh again, and hopefully make it happen more often.

 

That laugh, unfortunately, didn’t last long. Soon Lance started to cough badly, but not nearly as severe as before. Lance still felt that odd sensation of strength pouring itself through his veins, and it still felt like it was empowering and destroying him. He ventured to wonder if maybe that strength was what was keeping him conscious right now. His train of thought was interrupted when he once again felt blood trickle down his lips and frowned.

 

“Not again.” He groaned, wiping it off quickly, hoping Keith didn’t see the rich red liquid but only succeeding in smudging it across his chin. He looked over at Keith, only to see the boy’s eyes looking right back at him. He looked worried, a look that Lance wasn’t quite used to seeing on him. Lance didn’t really know what to say… how could he fix things? He felt his heart sink in his chest. “Sorry.” He muttered, not quite sure why he was sorry. “I think it’s time I go into the pod.” He forced a chuckle.

 

“Lance…” Keith was wide eyed, he knew Lance wasn’t in good shape, but he didn’t think it was bad enough that he would easily cough up blood after running for less than two minutes. Keith placed a hand on Lance’s cheek, wiping up the red smudges with his thumb. He did so impulsively, and he only realized what he was doing until it was too late and Lance’s sharp, confused eyes were on him. “J-just be more careful.” He stuttered, feeling himself turn red. He started to retract his hand, but Lance was quick to grab it. The two boys stared at each other in a fit of awkward silence, until, that is, Lance gave Keith a small smile.

 

“It’s ok.” He said softly before letting go and walking towards the pod. Lance wasn’t quite sure what just happened, nor did he know why he grabbed Keith’s hand or even why he said it’s ok. He didn’t even know what was okay, but somehow it felt like the right thing to say. Lance wanted things to go back to how they were, but now he was thinking it might be a bit too late. He entered the pod quickly, basically falling inside of it, and offered Keith another smile. “Mind doing the honors?”

 

Keith nodded. He closed the pod’s door and typed something on the keypad next to the pod. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly he was typing, since it was in Altean, but he knew it would get the pod working. Coran taught everyone how to use the pod after Lance’s first incident. It was a very good precaution, in case anyone got hurt and the only two Alteans weren’t around to get the pod started. Keith was thankful Shiro made him come at pay attention to Coran’s lesson. Lance closed his eyes, letting the Altean technology do its thing. Soon, the pod lit up with new life, and put Lance in a cryogenic state as it healed him.

 

After pressing a few last buttons, Keith stared befuddled at Lance’s sleeping image. His mind was replaying what happened in the last few moments over and over again, repeatedly until he could properly process what wend down. For one, Lance’s smile didn’t feel like it was fake, but it wasn’t genuine either… it was sympathetic. Why was Lance giving him that smile, and why did he grab Keith’s hand like that? It made no sense. Why did it affect him so much?

 

At first, Keith simply wanted to understand Lance and why he was doing what he was doing, but now that he was starting to get a clearer picture of everything that’s been going on, he started to genuinely care more about Lance. Keith sighed, wondering what he was doing. His original plan was to figure out why Lance was training late at night while everyone was asleep, but now he has so many more questions than he does answers.

 

Why does he hide his injuries? He mentioned not wanting to worry anyone else, but he could just as easily use the pods to heal himself. Anyone can prep a pod for themselves without assistance, it was really just a bit more of a hassle. Another question he had was: why did Lance ignore him for a bit? He remembers arguing with Lance the day before it all started, but they always argued. Keith’s yelled at him many times before that, and Lance never seemed to care… did he? Keith wasn’t so sure anymore. Then there was also that conversation he had with Hunk after their meal a while ago. It seemed like Hunk knew something about Lance that no one else did. What was it? There were a million other questions flowing through Keith’s mind, and he had no idea how he could ever solve them.

 

Keith once more thought back to the moment they had before. He had placed a hand on Lance’s cheek. Sure, it was to wipe away the blood on his chin, but he could just as easily have told Lance to do it. It was almost like he did it instinctively. “Why did I do that?” He muttered, leaning against the wall and wondering if Lance would at least trust him a bit better after this whole fiasco.

 

He looked at Lance in the pod, examining him closely now that the other boy was basically asleep. He could see so many injuries littering his body, bleeding through the armor. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say they were because of the beam he just took. He knew better, though. Just like the injury on his cheek, it seemed like every other old injury Lance had that wasn’t completely healed was reopening and worsening. Thankfully, it seemed like the pod was closing them up again. Altean tech was really a marvel.

 

Keith sighed, looking at Lance’s closed eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on with you Lance.” He admitted. “And quite frankly, I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that.” He paused for a moment and looked down. “I’m sorry about that.” He took a second pause before looking back up. “But I promise you that I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which curiosity kills the cat.
> 
> Updated!

Soon, the other paladins arrived at the infirmary, worried about Lance’s well being. Lance, however, was almost done healing. Thankfully, even though it was pretty bad, this injury wasn’t nearly as severe as it could have been and all of the other injuries were healing quickly too. After everyone settled in the room surrounding Lance, Keith moved over a bit to be farther away from everyone, still trying to process everything that happened. He simply needed some space to get his thoughts collected properly before he could formulate a semblance of a plan that could help him get through to Lance. He was probably the worst person for this specific task, but he had to try… especially since no one else would. 

“So was he okay?” Pidge had walked over to Keith, followed by Hunk. Pidge looked up at Keith expectantly, wondering about Lance’s condition. She really cared about him and was still getting over the fact that she had almost genuinely lost him for a second time. She wondered to herself is she needed to keep a closer eye on Lance. She somehow doubted he’d want a babysitter. 

Keith looked right back at Pidge, and then at Hunk. He noticed the two were adorned with sickly worried expressions that really didn’t fit either of them. He opened his mouth, about to tell them how Lance was nearly the definition of death itself because of the hit he took for everyone… but the words wouldn’t come out. “Yeah, that beam was nothing. Blue took the bulk of the damage.” He said instead and softly smiled. He realized he repeated the lies Lance had said before to Coran and he couldn’t quite understand why. He saw the two paladins sigh in relief, glad to know their friend wasn’t injured as badly as they had originally thought. He felt that maybe he was starting to understand Lance. He remembered Lance expressing that he didn’t like the others to feel worried about him, but Keith still didn’t know why Lance felt that way.

“I’m glad he’s alright.” Shiro said with his eyes fixated on the boy in the pod. He was still troubled with what had happened. It was his job to make sure everyone was okay and that they made it through this mess alive. He knew they were technically in a war and things sometimes happen, but they were still kids. They didn’t deserve any of this happening to them, and he desperately wished that the universe was different and that they didn’t have to fight to save it. He cherished his team and everyone in it. He almost lost a valuable team member, and he almost lost a part of his family. He sighed, rubbing his temples. He’d have to pay more attention to Lance. He vaguely remembered Keith saying something seemed off with the blue paladin and he knew that what Lance did was for the sake of the team, but he was starting to feel wary. He’d have to have a talk with the other boy and potentially focus more on him during training.

After what felt like centuries the pod finally opened, and Lance stumbled out of it. Shiro smiled, helping the boy stay upright. “Are you alright?” He asked with a kind voice. Lance wasn’t sure he liked the gentle tone nor the worried expression that came with it, though he figured it was unavoidable since he did almost die. He’d have to be more careful about his injuries and how he acted with them. 

“All good.” Lance smiled back, hoping to ease Shiro’s mind. He looked around the room, and he was happy to see everyone was fine. It seemed like he was the only one that sustained injuries. That was a huge relief. He was just about to open his mouth to say something cheesy and dumb that would hopefully make everyone laugh, but then his eyes locked with Keith’s. The two shared a silent moment together, ruined only when Hunk picked up Lance to give him a bear hug. Keith lingered slightly before turning his head and walking out of the room silently. 

“Lance! I missed you buddy!” Hunk yelled, obviously glad to see his best friend was okay. Lance chuckled slightly, feeling the full force of Hunk’s meaty arms. “I’m so glad you’re alive.” He sniffled, trying not to think back to what happened. “I thought I’d lost you…” He whispered softly mostly speaking to himself, but Lance heard it. He felt a sense of dread fill him at the thought of Hunk being sad, especially if it’s over him. Lance decided to pretend he didn’t hear that last part.

“Aw Hunk!” Lance tried not to sound like he was being crushed to death, even though he really was. “I missed you too big guy.” When Hunk finally released Lance, Pidge punched his arm.

“Ow! Pidge? What was that for?” Lance rubbed his arm. It didn’t really hurt, but Lance was always one for dramatics, especially since it often ended up with others laughing at him. He really did like it when they laughed, it seemed to ease their minds a bit.

“Don’t you dare scare us like that again.” Pidge threatened, pointing her finger at Lance. “Who else is going to move all of my things, oh Great Mover?” Pidge smiled softly at Lance. She relieved to see him act like his usual goofball self. 

Lance couldn’t help but smile back. He then felt a hand on his shoulder and turned his head to face Shiro. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling fine.” Shiro said honestly with a smile. Lance nodded and flashed another smile at him. He remembered the older boy telling him he had to be more careful, and he was right. If Lance wanted his team to focus on what themselves and their own personal happiness and well-being, he had to be as careful as he could to look as happy and fine as he could. He couldn’t let the team know how weary he felt. Shiro let go of Lance and turned to face the entire team. “Alright team, let’s go back to lunch.” Pidge and Hunk cheered. Lance smiled, feeling melancholic.

“Thank you! I’m starved!” Hunk was first to leave, more than ready to go back to his meal. Shiro and Pidge followed quickly, trying to catch up to the enthusiastic paladin. Lance was left behind, already forgotten. He scanned the room, looking around for something he felt like was missing. He wasn’t quite sure what it was that was gone, but he couldn’t quite help but notice it felt odd without it. He shrugged, deciding he was just imagining things, and ran to catch up with the others.

Lance stopped in the middle of the hallway, placing a hand on his chest. He looked back at the infirmary, wondering if that odd strength he felt inside him should have left after a trip to the pods. It was definitely weaker now, but it was still there. He shrugged it off, deciding that maybe it wasn’t something he should concern himself with. Especially since it didn’t seem to be hurting him like before. He quickly went back to running after his team to catch up.

Keith was in the training room practicing his swordsmanship. He wasn’t quite good with understanding emotions or relationships, but he was damn great at training. And so, he trained. Training was like a breath of fresh air. It was calming and cleared his mind from anything that bothered him. All that he needed to care about was the enemy on the other side of his sword. And yet he still couldn’t help but think about what transpired in the infirmary.

He grunted in frustration, hating the fact that he was unable to focus on anything. He didn’t even know why he felt this way, and that only increased his irritation. He ended his training, knowing it was going nowhere. He needed to get this problem fixed, because he knew that if this happened in the battlefield something bad could happen. He closed his eyes and began to think, what could he do to get Lance off his mind? What could he do to finally solve the mystery Lance presented him? What could he do to fix Lance’s problems? He thought about talking to Shiro, but he wasn’t too close to Lance. Pidge might have a few solutions, but he felt she wouldn’t be too good when it came to people problems. Allura and Coran were definitely out of the question. He was left with one other option.

Keith stared silently at Hunk, who stared right back at him. They were sitting across from each other in the kitchen, and they had been in silence for a few minutes. “So…” Hunk tried to break the silence. “What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” He raised a brow. Keith had suddenly shown up while he was fixing himself an afternoon snack, asking to talk to him out of the blue. 

Keith sighed, closing his eyes. “I have a few questions.” Hunk waited patiently for an inkling on the topic of said questions. “What can you tell me about Lance?” Keith finally asked, now staring straight at Hunk with determined eyes.

“Well, he’s my best friend and he’s pretty funny.” Hulk thought for a bit. “He doesn’t eat much. That always bothered me.” He paused. “Wait! No, that’s Pidge. Pidge doesn’t eat much.” He nodded, as if confirming he was right. “Lance does skip some meals though, especially when he’s stressed out about something.” Keith remembered Lance barely touching his food after Shiro nearly lost his patience with him during practice. He also remembered several occasions when Lance didn’t show up during meals. He always figured Lance just wasn’t hungry or was taking a beauty nap or some other dumb reason for skipping that specific meal. He’d always show up for the next meal, so he never really thought he’d purposefully skip a meal because of stress. In fact, he didn’t think Lance would be the type to stress out about things. Then again, he never thought Lance would be the type to blatantly lie about his life and wellbeing, nor that he’d be the type to train late at night. 

“What does he get stressed about?” Keith asked, hoping Hunk would elaborate.

“Can’t say. Lance doesn’t really tell me much, and he doesn’t need to. He’s the type that doesn’t like talking about his problems, so I don’t push it. I just try to be there when he needs me.” Hunk shrugged.

“Is there anything else you can tell me?” 

“His favorite season is the summer, and though he’s an animal lover he has a small bias towards dogs.” Hunk smiled softly. “He once tried to bring a dog into the Garrison, but Iverson quickly shot him down and demanded he find somewhere else for the dog to stay or he’d take it to the pound. He ended up spending an entire weekend trying to find someone to adopt the pup.” Hunk chuckled, remembering how the two of them were literally trying every trick in the book to get someone to adopt, from standing outside in the cold with cardboard signs to knocking on doors.

Aside from what he said, Hunk couldn’t really think of anything else to say about Lance, especially since the question itself was a bit too general. Hunk didn’t know what exactly Keith was after, but he would at least still try to give him something. Thankfully, the red paladin was quick to realize that. “I meant about his personality.” Keith clarified. Hulk looked at him for a moment.

“That’s a tough question.” He finally said. “Lance is a lot more complicated than what he pretends to be. He’s also a lot more caring and tends to laugh things off. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, uh… Just curious… I guess?” Keith shrugged. “What do you mean by more complicated?” He thought about how Lance was always throwing around some sort of act and wondered if maybe Hunk had picked up on that too.

“Well, you know how Pidge and I were in his team back at the Garrison right?” Keith nodded. “Believe it or not, some of the other students there used to make fun of us. They used to say I was too chubby to be there and that Pidge was too small.” 

“Hunk… I’m sorry.” Keith didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t really have fond memories of the Garrison either, but he was never treated badly. He wasn’t sure how to comfort Hunk, and he wasn’t sure where Hunk was going with this either. He gave the other paladin a sympathetic look.

“Oh don’t worry about it. It stopped not too soon after it started.” Hunk shrugged and Keith blinked slightly confused. “I remember seeing Lance come back to the dorms late one night, he had an ugly bruise on his left eye. It looked pretty bad, and he even had to ice it for a bit. I asked him about it but he simply said it was a training accident, which is funny since he rarely ever trains.” Keith wanted to tell him otherwise, but he knew it wasn’t his place to tell Hunk the truth. “The next day, the people who kept making fun of Pidge and I didn’t even really look at us. In fact, one of them actually came up to apologize. Lance denies having anything to do with this, but I overheard he got detention for being in a fight, which explains why he got back real late.” 

Keith blinked, not really expecting Lance to have done something like that. Thinking about it though, it made sense. Every time Lance got fatally injured, it was because he was protecting someone else. What would stop him from protecting his teammates at the Garrison even if it meant getting sucker punched in the face? “So, he got caught in a fight for the two of you?” Hunk nodded.

“After that it wasn’t too hard to figure out the kind of guy he was.” Hunk looked down at his hands. “He’s the kind of guy who likes to help people, regardless of how it would affect him.” He smiled softly, explaining what he meant. “Still, I never thought he’d do something like that.” This time, Hunk was mostly talking to himself, vividly recalling watching the Blue Lion get hit with the Galra’s quintessence ray.

“Could you tell me more? About Lance and the Garrison I mean.” Keith didn’t really know how to comfort people, but he at least knew that distracting Hunk might be a good thing –plus he was still curious. “What was it like for him there?”

“People loved him.” Hunk smiled at the memory. “Well, at least most of them did. He was really friendly and outgoing, always trying to bring a smile to everyone’s face. He was easy to get along with too. I’m surprised you didn’t remember him much though.” Keith stared at Hunk, a little confused. 

“We never really interacted much.” He stated flatly. It was true, Keith didn’t really remember having any meaningful conversation with Lance prior to the whole fighting-purple-aliens-to-save-the-universe thing. Hunk stared at him a bit dumbfounded.

“He was always bothering you.” Hunk defended his previous statement. “He would constantly brag to you or try to challenge you on something. He wanted to be your friend, too.” 

Keith was actually very surprised to hear this. He didn’t have many memories of life at the Garrison. His time there was spent training and studying. Sometimes people would bother him, but he’d shrug them off. They were always after his standing, hoping that being affiliated with him would bump them up in the system and make them look good. After a while and a lot of suffering he had learned to ignore the people around him, but surely he would’ve at least remembered Lance.

“He always thought you were alone, or so he said, but eventually his interest in friendship turned into a rivalry. I guess it’s similar to how it is now.” Hunk shrugged, not giving too much thought about Keith’s unbelieving expression. When Keith was silent for a while, Hunk decided that it might be better to talk about something else and maybe give him a breather from the topic. “So, are you hungry?” Hunk smiled, eyeing the contents of the kitchen.

Keith had left Hunk feeling bewildered, and also with a full stomach. He went back into his room, deciding to sleep in until later at night. He didn’t know why, but he really wanted to talk to Lance. He wondered if it was guilt for ignoring the boy all those years ago or if it was because of what happened in the infirmary or maybe if it was because of all the new information he’s gotten about Lance. He was glad that Hunk seemed to notice at least a few things that happened with Lance, but he wondered if that was enough to make the blue paladin genuinely feel okay. 

Keith eventually let his exhaustion drift him to sleep, and soon enough it was time to get up and go. The black-haired boy grunted, still not quite used to waking up in the middle of the night. He forced himself off of bed and got dressed. He took his Bayard and left the room, heading towards the training deck. Upon arrival, he was a bit discontent to see it was empty. “Maybe he decided to sleep in for once.” Keith wondered aloud, feeling a bit disappointed. He had to admit it was at least a bit relieving to know Lance decided to sleep in at least one night, especially considering he could have died during the day.

Just then, he heard footsteps down the hall. He thought that maybe he had just arrived early. He quickly entered the training deck, deciding to pretend he was there on his own accord and definitely not waiting on Lance. He expected the boy to enter, possibly grunt in frustration, and make some sort of classic Lance drama scene. Yet the brunet simply walked past the training room, barely giving it much thought. Keith furrowed his brows, wondering what was going on. He waited a few seconds, before deciding that he was going to follow Lance.

He was led to where the lions were being kept. Keith couldn’t help but wonder if this was where Lance went every night. Lance quietly walked up to his lion, placing a gentle hand against the soft, cool metal.

“Hey Blue.” He said with a smile on his lips. “How are you feeling?” His smile faltered and he closed his eyes. Keith could tell the boy was worried. “I’m glad you’re alright.” Lance smiled again, opening his eyes to look at his beloved partner. “Sorry for putting you through that.” The boy then sat down, leaning against one of the Blue Lion’s paws. He looked peaceful, something Keith had never seen before.

Keith stared a bit in awe. He never realized how close Lance was with his lion, and he couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous of their relationship. Keith sighed, deciding to save the conversation he wanted to have with Lance for later. He turned around and was about to leave, but then he heard Lance’s soothing voice speak up again.

“You know, the weirdest thing happened today with Keith.” Lance whispered softly. Keith didn’t want curiosity to get the better of him, but he desperately wanted to know why Lance was talking about him and whether or not that was a good thing. He decided to stay for one minute, and then walk away. He knew that wasn’t going to happen though, but he didn’t really give it a second thought. “Normally, Keith wouldn’t really notice my injuries, nor would he really care much for them. Today, however, he insisted that I go to the infirmary and he even insisted on taking me there himself. He had this really weird look on his face too…” Lance closed his eyes, remembering every detail of that moment. “It was...” he struggled to find the right word, “endearing.” He decided on that word.

Keith wanted to know what exactly he meant by that. He wished he could hear Blue, but he wasn’t that lion’s paladin. He stood silently, waiting for Lance to speak up again. When he was about to give up, he heard the soothing voice in the deadly silence.

“If I’m being honest, Keith changed somehow.” Lance sighed, readjusting himself against Blue. “I mean, a couple of weeks ago he was yelling at me for not trying hard enough, and basically calling me his problem… Now he’s treating me like I’m going to drop dead any second.” Keith’s eyes widened a bit as memories flashed through his mind. He did say really harsh things to Lance, no wonder he was being ignored. He felt a bit of panic rise in his chest. What if he ruined their chance of becoming actual friends? “I don’t know if it’s pity or guilt or some other emotion, but I think he’s trying to be friendlier towards me.” He heard Lance chuckle miserably. “I’d rather he had left me alone.” 

Keith felt his heart drop with dread. He deserved this. He should have known he messed up this badly. He wasn’t really the most social person, and it showed. Lance deserved better. He wished someone else had noticed Lance train, maybe they’d be able to handle the situation a lot better than him. Maybe they’d have the guts to actually talk to Lance instead of observing him slowly destroy himself. 

“I wonder what he was thinking.” Lance thought whimsically. “He never really liked me, so why did he seem so caring? Was it because without me Voltron can’t be formed? Or maybe I misread the situation.” Lance sighed, and after a brief pause, he spoke again. “You know, Blue, I always looked up to him. He is everything I am not.”

Keith’s eyes widened. In the past few days, he found so many new things about Lance than he had in the past few months, even years if he considered the Garrison. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine Lance to be so… human. Lance was always that one teammate that made bad jokes and flirted a lot. He was that one guy that didn’t put too much effort into things and always wanted to sleep in without giving a care in the world. He wasn’t the kind of guy who would take a hit for others, and he certainly wasn’t the kind of guy who worked harder than he should. He wasn’t the kind of guy who had any weaknesses or cared to admit he was wrong. He was supposed to be arrogant, cocky, half-assed, and maybe even selfish. And yet, he wasn’t any of that. 

“I guess it’s just weird having someone I’ve looked up to, look at me that way.” Keith felt his heart ahce. He recalled Hunk saying something about Lance always trying to be his friend, and he felt regret for forgetting about him. It also felt wrong to hear Lance say these things about him. Keith wanted to hear this, but he wanted Lance to be talking to him and not his lion. He took a deep breath.

“Do you…” he hesitated, “want to talk about it?” Keith said, walking towards a startled Lance. Blue, sensing Lance’s distress, decided to open her mouth and grant Lance access –a gesture deeply appreciated by the blue paladin.

Lance could only stare at the black-haired boy. He felt his face redden, and his blood boil. He didn’t want Keith to EVER find out how he felt, but some things just don’t go your way. “No.” Lance said finally, standing up. “No, no, nopedy nope. No.” He lifted his arms to form and “X” shape, further supporting his negation. “You heard absolutely nothing.” He stated, hoping Keith would just go with it. “Nope. Not in this lifetime.” He said finally, quickly entering Blue’s mouth. “Close up, Blue.” He whispered. “NO!” He said one last time as Blue shut his jaw tightly, separating Lance from Keith who could only stare back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! sorry for the late update, this week has been kind of hectic with finals coming up.  
> Have a lovely night though, and I hope you enjoy!! I tried to make this chapter longer, but hopefully they'll be even longer in the future.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for this ridiculously short and late chapter…  
> I'm not one to make excuses, but the past week and a half have been kind of rough.  
> I ended up sick somehow!! Fun way to spend the first week of freedom from college amiright? So focusing on anything really has been a tremendous effort and the small amount of focus I somehow managed to have had to be spent on working on a comic my friend and I are writing.  
> I pinky promise I haven't abandoned this fic!! Updates are probably just going to be random and of weird sizes.  
> Thanks for understanding and have a lovely night!

Keith was dumbfounded. He was standing by Blue’s tightly shut jaws, wondering what had just happened. He figured Lance might not be the happiest camper around after realizing his very intimate conversation with Blue was eavesdropped by the last person he’d want, but he honestly didn’t expect Lance to completely shut him out… both metaphorically and literally. “Lance?” He called out, hoping for a response. Silence. Keith tried knocking, hoping that if he just kept at it, Lance would eventually respond. “Come on Lance, talk to me.” Keith was frowning now. He sighed, sitting down and leaning his back against the lion’s mouth. He sighed, ready to give up.

“Why are you here?” Lance finally spoke from inside. His voice was muffled and soft, but still audible. Keith leaned his head against the cool metal, closing his eyes. Why did he come here? 

“I wanted to talk to you.” He said truthfully. He really did want to talk, but he didn’t quite know what he wanted to talk about.

Lance grunted. “Then talk.” He said, a bit more aggressive than he intended to. Keith winced. 

“I...” Keith didn’t really know what to say. “How are you feeling?” He asked instead.

On the inside of the lion, Lance had his head resting on his knees. He had his legs tucked in close to his body, surrounded by his lengthy arms. How the hell did this happen? One minute he was talking to Blue like he usually does, the next Keith is storming in after he said some pretty embarrassing things. Now he was hiding inside his lion like a scared cat trying his best not to sink too far into a river of self-loathing. “I’m fine?” He answered unwillingly. 

Lance honestly didn’t know how to deal with this situation. He didn’t know how to feel, nor did he know what to say. He just wished things were the way they were supposed to be, with Keith hating his guts and him giving Keith a hard time. Instead, they were both having this awfully awkward conversation where neither party really knows how to interact with the other.

“That’s good. You took on a nasty hit, everyone was worried.” Keith stated, trying desperately to keep the conversation going.

“I know.” Lance sounded a bit annoyed now. How couldn’t he know? The last thing he wanted was for them to worry and that’s all he caused. He was painfully aware of it. 

“Why do you hate it when people worry about you?” Keith asked, but Lance didn’t respond this time. Keith frowned, thinking that maybe Lance wanted him to drop the subject, but Lance refused to say a single damn word so Keith would continue to talk about whatever the hell he wanted. “You can’t expect us not to worry. We are your team, after all.” Keith was starting to get annoyed now. “Look, can you just open up Blue so we can talk?”

“Keith?” Lance finally replied.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

Keith gave up. He sighed, getting up. He decided the stress wasn’t worth it, Lance could just run off a cliff for all he cared… except he couldn’t really, with the whole space thing going on, but that’s beside the point. “Fine. Have it your way.” He was about to walk away, but he decided to say one last thing. “I just wanted you to know that I think you’re a great paladin. You may be a jerk at times, like right now for example, but you’re still a good team member. I’m sorry for all of the harsh comments I sent your way. That was… out of line and completely uncalled for. I know you’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. I just wanted to say that, and to hopefully leave on better terms with you. That’s obviously not going to happen though. Goodnight Lance.” He started to head his way back towards his room. He frowned, wondering how things got so sour so fast.

“Wait.” Keith stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. “Blue, open up.” Lance was standing with his arms crossed, right in front of the entrance. Keith stared as the lion slowly opened his mouth. “You want to be on better terms?” Lance asked. Keith responded with a nod. “Then you can start by forgetting everything I told Blue. Seriously, that was not cool at all man.” Keith smiled softly. Lance had a big heart, and, thankfully, it seemed that Keith still had a chance at being his friend. 

“Deal.” He smirked. “Consider it forgotten.” Lance gave a small smile in appreciation. 

“I gotta ask though, what made you come here of all places?” Keith’s face turned red. He really hadn’t thought any of this through, and he had absolutely no idea what to say.

“I couldn’t sleep.” He murmured. “So I went to the training deck and happened to see you pass by. I guess I got curious and followed you.” Hopefully that was a good enough reason, Keith thought. Lance nodded. Keith knew he would eventually have to tell Lance about his newfound stalker tendencies, and how he’s seen Lance train at night for a while now. He knew he’d have to come clean at some point, but for now he had to focus on getting Lance to not hate him… Plus, he was mildly afraid of what will happen once Lance finds out the truth.

“Fair enough.” Lance clasped his hands together, making Keith jump slightly from surprise, stopping him from his current train of thought. “So, you hungry?” He asked with a small smile. He remembered Hunk saying something about the best way to get to know someone is through a good meal… Then again, everything with Hunk tends to revolve around a good meal.

“That’s something I’d expect Hunk to say.” Keith’s brow furrowed and Lance rolled his eyes.

“Is that a no?” Lance asked with a raised brow. Keith sighed and stared at the boy in silence. He wondered what brought this on, but the thought of eating with Lance at two in the morning didn’t annoy him as much as it should have.

“It’s a yes.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the two boys have a talk.  
> Well, one talks a lot and the other listens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was gone for so long! I'll admit I had lost motivation to work on this for a while with everything that's been going on.  
> That and I also got sucked into another fandom and am finally recovering from my latest addiction.  
> Also, star guardians.  
> But I'm back with more! Thanks for waiting for me guys! I hope you have wonderful evenings!

The boys were in the kitchen now. Lance insisted on preparing a meal, as an apology of sorts for acting like a childish jerk before, so Keith was just sitting awkwardly watching as Lance moved around the Altean kitchen.

“Sorry, I’m not as good of a chef as Hunk.” Lance mumbled as he started preparing their midnight snack. “But,” he turned around to look at Keith, “my mom did teach me a thing or two about the kitchen.” He smiled, fondly remembering his mother, and turned back to the ingredients in front of him.

“A thing or two?” Keith raised a brow. In all out honesty, the raven-haired boy wasn’t quite sure he trusted Lance not to give him food poisoning, especially since he wasn’t even using Earth ingredients. Unfortunately for him, he finally managed to get the boy to open up even a little and he doubted refusing something he made would get Lance to want to continue their friendship. Keith instead chose to close his eyes; mentally preparing himself for whatever horrors Lance was about to serve him.

“Yeah. She was an amazing cook.” Keith opened his eyes and focused on Lance. There was something weird about the way he said that… He examined the boy closely. He had a faraway smile curving his lips, and normally Keith would think he was just remembering a good moment, but his eyes were sad. It was like they weren’t looking at the present, but instead into the past. “She did a lot for us.” That was a whisper. It was a soft, almost inaudible whisper, but Keith still heard it. He wondered if he was even supposed to hear it. 

Keith continued to stare at Lance, trying to study him. He was silent for once, something Keith never expected to see from him. It was almost alarming how different Lance was acting right now. He didn’t know what he did to deserve this level of confidentiality from Lance, but he was grateful. It was so much better than receiving any of his fake smiles, or his forced act. “You okay?” Keith decided to break the silence. 

Lance stiffened, waking up from what seemed like a daze. One minute he was chopping and dicing some Altean vegetables, or what he hoped were Altean vegetables, and the next he is daydreaming about his family back home. “Yeah.” He said, taking a deep breath and turning back towards the curious paladin. “Just fine.” He smiled widely at the boy and chuckled lightly before returning to the task at hand. 

But he wasn’t really smiling. 

Keith refused to take his eyes off Lance. The brunet boy was tall and lean. He was well composed and strangely focused. The silence made it obvious that he was thinking about something. Keith could barely see the paladin’s face, but he could still see the distant look in his eyes. Something was bothering him. Strangely enough, this is the first time the boy wasn’t covering it up with a fake smile or arrogant attitude. Keith badly wanted to know what Lance was thinking. He badly wanted the boy to open up more to him. And the worst part about it? He didn’t even know why he cared so much. The ‘it’s-only-curiosity’ excuse really doesn’t work anymore, considering he’s way more invested than a curious person would be. He figured that somehow, he started actually caring about Lance -at least more than just a teammate.

Keith took a deep breath. He was being unfair. How could he expect Lance to give away all of his secrets when Keith didn’t do the same? It takes two to Tango, and Lance wasn’t a one-man show. He remembered his talk with Hunk, and he remembered he had something he wanted to tell Lance. If Lance wouldn’t open up, then he would. He took a second breath, working up the courage to speak.

“I’m bad at making friends.” He said finally, breaking the silence between the two. Lance turned around again, not quite expecting Keith to say anything. He shot him a smile, a fake smile, and opened his mouth to say something. “Shut up and listen dumbass.” Keith rolled his eyes already knowing Lance was going to say something stupid and annoying. Lance frowned and shut his mouth. Good. Keith took a deep breath and looked down at his hands resting on his lap. He wasn’t quite sure what he was going to say but he knew he was going to say something.

“I didn’t know much about my parents.” He admitted, recalling the little facts he remembered. “I never met my mom, and my dad wasn’t really around much to take care of me. He died when I was young. The Garrison took me in and began training me when I was young. He closed his eyes, trying to recollect every little detail. “I wasn’t happy at first. Actually, I don’t think I ever was. Everything was hard and it almost seemed like nobody really cared. The adults didn’t pay me much attention and scolded me if I didn’t do as obeyed and since I got recruited when I was so young, I had to train with older kids. They didn’t like me much. They tried to bully me once… but it didn’t end up so well. I might have been small but I wasn’t weak. So instead they ended up picking fights with me whenever they could.

I can still remember their names and faces. Ella had blue eyes and a red hair while her brother, Bonnie, had green eyes and blonde hair. Dan was British with a strong accent; his eyes were hazel and his short black hair curled easily against his dark skin. Lazlo was Hispanic, like you. He had a crooked nose and a nasty glare. All of them were close friends to Jess. He was the embodiment of the word dickhead. I can’t say I hate them. I did once, but not anymore. Despite how often they would fight me for no reason, it was thanks to them that I grew so strong so quickly. 

I think the only person in the Garrison who actually cared about my well being was Shiro. He was the one who brought me in actually. That’s a story for another day, though.

When I was finally old enough to join a class with kids my age, I was thrilled. I thought that maybe I could find someone who would actually like to spend time with me. I was shy and careful when it came to talking to people, but I refused to let that stop me. Soon I became friends with a lot of people from my class. I have to admit, that was one of the greatest moments of my life at the Garrison.

That didn’t last long though. When ranking tests where getting started, all of them suddenly wanted to spend more time with me. It didn’t take me long to realize it was because I already had a high rank for my age. I had a head start, after all. At first I thought it was my imagination, and that maybe this was what friends did. But soon they became fixated in trying to get me to help them rank up faster. Soon they were trying to coerce me into it, whether it was through bribes or blackmail. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. It hurt. I didn’t like being used.” Keith finally looked back up at the boy, wondering if he was even paying attention at all.

His face turned red when he saw those dazzling brown eyes looking directly at him. Lance didn’t have one of his fake smiles on his face. He was standing still, doing nothing. He didn’t even put the knife he was using back down. He was frozen, ignoring everything around him as though Keith was the only important thing in the room. Keith looked back down towards his hands, not quite sure how to react to Lances piercing gaze. He decided to keep on talking.

“I distanced myself from everyone. People would still try to get me to do them favors by offering their friendships, and they would still try to use me. Sometimes it was because they thought I would grant them popularity and success, and sometimes it was because they thought they could get ahead and skip a few ranks if they were affiliated with me. And there was even one kid, named James, he was an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. So I stopped trusting people and I stopped responding to them. I ignored everyone and everything… except for Shiro.

He was like a rock, steadying me throughout the chaos that was my life at the Garrison. I felt out of place. I always felt out of place, but Shiro somehow made me feel like I belonged somewhere. He was always there for me when I needed him. Sometimes he would go off on a mission, but he never took too long and always stayed in touch. He gave me hope. Hope that maybe I could still have faith in people. Hope that maybe not everyone was cruel and selfish. Hope that I could still belong somewhere.

And then he left and never came back.

I know it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t return, but it still hurt. I felt abandoned and rejected, I guess.” Keith shrugged. He realized he was revealing a bit too much about his past. He wasn’t quite sure why he was saying all this, but he figured it would be worth it. He figured if this is what it took to be close to Lance, then it was worth it. 

“Look, what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry.” He looked back up, seeing Lance stare at him a bit surprised, and with a hint of curiosity. Keith decided to elaborate. “When you talked to me, I thought you were going to be like all of those other people. I thought you were going to try and use me. So, I’m sorry that I never gave you a chance, but I… I’m glad that you’re giving me one, even if I don’t really deserve it.”

There, it was said. Keith didn’t think he’d actually ever say any of this to anyone. Hell, he didn’t even tell Shiro what was going on. And yet it somehow felt right to tell Lance. 

After he was done speaking, the room was filled with silence again. Lance eventually resumed to chopping whatever the hell he was chopping, and left Keith in the silence. The black-haired boy felt a little panicked. He wondered if he was wrong to confide in Lance… after all the two technically hated each other just a few hours ago. Well, at least that’s what the boys tried to portray. It seemed like neither one of them actually felt any hatred towards the other. Keith used to, but that quickly changed when he realized Lance wasn’t what he expected him to be, and Lance never actually hated Keith.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Lance finally said, disrupting Keith’s train of thought. “I wouldn’t want to be friends with me either.” He chuckled softly, trying to make it seem like a joke, but Keith knew better. He may have said it with a smile, but the tone of his voice was grave. He meant what he said, but Keith couldn’t figure out why. Before he could say anything, though, Lance spoke up again. “Why did you tell me all of this?” He moved on to another task, putting everything in what he hoped was a pan and a stove. Thankfully, it seemed like it was, and nothing exploded.

“You’re a good person.” Keith said simply. “I guess I feel bad for ignoring you and forgetting about you for so long. It’s not surprising you don’t like me. I was unfair to you.” 

“Is that really why?” Lance seemed so serious. He was always so carefree and silly, so it was strange to see him so grim and somber. It didn’t fit him.

“When you got hit by that ray, I realized that I can’t take my time. You could die at any moment. I could die at any moment. I really want us to be closer, and I guess I trust you enough to tell you this. And I’ve also said some really nasty things to you, and treated you badly. I wanted to make amends.” Not to mention that maybe Lance would forgive him for prying and eavesdropping. 

It was a big step to tell all of this, but Keith was glad he did it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the talk continues.

Lance didn’t even know what to think. Keith suddenly dumped so much information on him… So much he didn’t know. And he did it because he wanted to apologize for not wanting to be his friend? What the hell? The more time he spent with Keith, the more he realized nothing was going to go back to normal. There was no way in hell he could just pretend he hated Keith’s guts and no way he could get Keith to hate him again. At least without being a complete and total douchebag and scoff and laugh at Keith’s sad story… But Lance couldn’t do that to Keith. He couldn’t do that at all.

 

For a while he decided to keep cooking, and collect his thoughts. He needed some time to process things. Eventually though, they were talking again. And although Keith didn’t mind answering Lance’s questions, all he did was make the boy even more confused.

 

What did he mean by wanting them to be closer? Before he mentioned wanting to leave on good terms, and now he wanted them to be closer? It took a lot of willpower not to grunt in frustration. Lance didn’t think Hunk’s good meal theory would actually work. He just thought it would be a good way for the two to talk a bit and forget about everything and not have an actual moment. Was it even a moment? Fuck, it was. Keith just revealed a shitload of things to Lance, and by doing so he crossed a bridge he shouldn’t have.

 

“How close do you want us to be?” He suddenly felt dizzy. Did he want the two to be best friends? Metaphorical brothers? Lovers? Lanced scoffed at that last idea that popped in his head. Like hell the two would ever be anything even close to that. He didn’t even think Keith was capable of being friends with him, let alone anything more.

 

Lance’s closest friend was Hunk, by a long shot. Nobody could compare to him. Nobody understood Lance as well as him. But not even Hunk knew about his secrets and fears. His carefully elaborated act was still used in front of Hunk, although to a somewhat lesser extent. Lance was afraid Keith saw through that act, and he was afraid Keith wanted to break it. He wondered if that’s why Keith opened up. He felt sick.

 

“I don’t know.” The boy shrugged, not at all helping the situation. Lance figured he wasn’t going to talk much more. He was actually surprised Keith talked so much in the first place considering he’s usually a guy with few words.

 

By now, Lance was done cooking. He took both of his masterpieces and placed each on a plate: one for himself and one for Keith. He then placed a plate in front of Keith and one on the opposite side of the table. “Voila. Altean omelets.” He flashed a smile at Keith. He turned around and grabbed silverware for the two boys and two cups of some sort of juice that actually didn’t taste too bad. “Dig in.” He said.

 

Keith looked at the smile on Lance’s lips and couldn’t help but feel his heart beat increase at the sight. He blamed that on the adrenaline he was surely getting from just the thought of eating something made by Lance. The guy was known to be a total disaster, and he recalls the many times Hunk has shoved Lance out of his kitchen. He looked down at the plate and then back up at Lance. The boy still had that innocent smile on his face. He was eager, clearly wanting to see if Keith enjoyed his omelets. Keith breathed a nervous breath, deciding to calm his nerves a bit before embarking on this new adventure.

 

He cut a piece of the omelet and picked it up with his fork. He hesitantly lifted his fork and carefully opened his mouth. The whole process took longer than it really should have, but Lance was still patiently waiting for the boy to take a bite. Eventually, the piece made it into Keith’s mouth.

 

“What do you think?” Lance asked eagerly. In all out honesty, Keith was going to tell him he liked it regardless of its actual taste… But he simply couldn’t. He didn’t like it, at all. In fact, he loved it.

 

“This is really good.” He immediately put another piece in his mouth. “You’re an amazing chef Lance.” Keith pointed his fork at Lance as he said this. He was basking in the flavor. He realized that yet another impression he had of Lance was wrong. “What else can you do?”

 

“What?” Lance blinked, confused by the sudden question.

 

“There’s a lot I don’t know about you Lance. So, what else can you do?”

 

“I guess there are some things, but I wouldn’t say they were all that important. Lance smiled softly, but Keith knew better than to believe that smile.

 

“Like what?” Keith decided to keep prying. He wasn’t about to let Lance off the hook, not after a shit comment like that. Lance looked down at his plate, suddenly losing his appetite. He couldn’t really think of anything to say that was actually interesting or cool. What did he do anyways? Not much.

 

“I can dance. I used to do it a lot with my family.” He finally said, taking a bite.

 

“You were really close to them, weren’t you?” Lance gave him a sad smile. He missed his family so much. Sometimes it was unbearable how much he missed them. Back at Earth he couldn’t spend much time with them anymore, and now he couldn’t spend any time with them. It was hard. It was really hard. “I can’t say I’m not jealous.” This time, it was Keith that offered a sad smile. “Can you tell me about them?”

 

“Sure.” Lance never really got the chance to ever talk about his family, not that he minded. It one of his favorite topics, but it was also one of his most painful ones. “Lets see. I have two younger siblings, and two older ones. My brother is the oldest at 25, and his name is Jose. He graduated school a while ago and became a really good engineer. He moved far away though, so I only ever got to see him during the holidays. It was really fun though, he and I would wrestle all the time and mom would get mad at us.

 

Next in line is Mandy at 20 years old. She’s really bossy, but always helps out when we need her to. She’s currently attending a university not too far from home, and she’s a law student too. She’s really smart. She has this radiant smile that always made me feel better whenever I was sad. I was really close to her since we were the closest age wise. We caused a lot of trouble together.” He chuckled.

 

“Dallas should be 14 now. His birthday was two weeks ago, if I kept track correctly. He was an even bigger troublemaker than me, but he takes really good care of our youngest sister, Daisy who is 12. Daisy is very shy, but Dallas more than makes up for it with his outgoing personality. The two are an inseparable pair. Dad once tried to take Daisy to ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day’ and the two just weren’t having it. They both threw a tantrum and started crying every time dad even tried to talk about it.” Lance could still remember their faces, all of their faces. They were such a huge family, but he still remembered everything.

 

“Mom and Dad are kind. Mom was very tolerant with us, and never got too mad at our many mistakes. Dad had a quick temper, though he still loved us all with all his heart. Mom has a crazy cat lady sister and dad has a married brother. They both live relatively close and even helped out around the house sometimes, so I got to see them a lot too. My grandparents from my mother’s side also lived pretty close. Nana would always bake me the greatest of chocolate chip cookies and sneak them to me when she thought mom wasn’t paying attention. Mom would always find out though. She was too perceptive for her own good.” Lance chuckled slightly.

 

“Lance…” Keith stared at the boy in front of him. He was crying. Lance never cried. “We can stop talking about them… if you want?” Keith placed his hand on top of Lance’s and gave the boy a shy smile.

 

“Ah, sorry.” Lance quickly wiped his tears with his free hand. When did he even start crying? He hoped Keith didn’t think he was some sort of crybaby. “I guess cutting the onions must’ve gotten to me.” He laughed it off, hoping Keith would believe him. He looked away as he rested his head on his hand, ignoring the discomfort he felt with his elbow against the cold metal table, but he left his other hand under Keith’s. He hated to admit it, but he felt a bit better by that simple contact.

 

Keith watched the boy silently for a few seconds. He honestly didn’t know what to do in this situation. “They seem really nice.” He said silently. “When we go back to Earth, I’d like to meet them. If that’s okay?” Lance looked up at him for a moment, processing what the boy was saying. He let a smile mark his lips and laughed softly.

 

“That would be nice.” Lance mumbled softly, returning to his meal. He took his hand back from Keith, leaving the raven-haired boy with a small feeling of neglect. Keith glanced at his abandoned hand, deciding to dismiss the feeling.

 

The two ate in silence again, but it wasn’t the awkward or sad silences they had before. This silence was comforting. All that they felt needed to be said was said and they were content with just spending the remainder of the time with each other’s company.

 

Eventually, the boys finished eating. Lance cleaned up the small mess he made in the kitchen while Keith took care of the dishes. They exchanged small banter and even some jokes. Despite it all, Keith couldn’t stop thinking about how vulnerable Lance seemed. He couldn’t stop thinking about the small glimpse of the genuine person behind Lance’s act.

 

The two boys now made their way back to their respective rooms. “I’ll walk you to your room.” Lance had said casually, before continuing the conversation. Keith could feel his face heat up slightly, but he paid no mind to it. Instead he simply nodded and listened to Lance talk. He had to admit that the Hispanic boy’s voice was like a gentle lull that gave him comfort, and to think that a few days ago he refused to even be in the same room as him.

 

It wasn’t long before the two were standing in front of Keith’s door. It was time for their night to come to an end, and yet neither one of them wanted it to. It’s funny how things change. Lance gave Keith a smile, and scratched the back of his neck. “I guess this is the part where we say goodnight.” He chuckled. “So goodnight, Keith.”

 

Keith looked at him a moment longer, wondering if there was more to say. He smiled back. “Goodnight.” He nodded, opening his door. He was about to enter the room and close the door, but he felt a hand grab his wrist and gently pull him back. It was almost like Lance was asking for attention, but the boy was looking down at the floor. Keith always knew Lance to be bold and daring, and to not be afraid of anything, but now he looked so timid. “Is everything okay?” Keith asked slowly.

 

“I’m sorry that life at the Garrison wasn’t as kind to you as it should have been, and I’m sorry nobody treated you like you were supposed to be treated. It must have been really hard for you. But thank you.” Lance looked up at Keith for a moment. “For telling me, I mean. And… I promise that I won’t let anything like that happen to you again.” His brown eyes were locked onto Keith’s black ones. They stood like that, staring at each other, for a few silent seconds, before Lance let go of Keith awkwardly. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow Keith.” He turned around and started heading back towards his room.

 

Keith watched him go until he was no longer in sight. He looked down at the hand Lance grabbed, and then back to where the boy once stood. He felt a small smile creep onto his face and finally made his way to his own room. “I guess it was worth it after all.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay on this chapter!   
> I was moving in back to my dorm (finally) this entire weekend. School had to be delayed for a while since Irma was wrecking stuff, so yeah.   
> (Btw, hope everyone's okay after that!)   
> But you guys are too sweet! Thank you so much for the lovely comments, kudos, and overall support! They really absolutely made my day!  
> Have a wonderful day everyone! <3

“So who’s ready for breakfast?” Hunk grinned as he clasped his hands together. Everyone there was sitting on the table still waking up and looking at Hunk.

 

Out of everyone, Shiro was probably the only one fully awake. He already had a mug of coffee in his hand and was completely ready to start the day. Pidge was sitting across from Shiro, and, although she wasn’t nearly as awake, she was already drawing up some ideas for things she might want to work on. Princess Allura was still quite sleepy, but she refused to show it. She sat tall on her chair and nodded at Hunk with a smile on her lips. Coran was nowhere to be found, but Allura mentioned he had to fix a few things on the ship. Apparently the Altean equivalent for an air conditioner broke down during the last fight, and if it wasn’t fixed the ship would become a bit too hot for comfort.

 

On the other hand, Keith was just standing by the door, unwittingly waiting for Lance to show up. He honestly didn’t want to get out of bed this morning after last night’s adventures, but strangely enough the thought of talking to Lance again was good enough reason to open his eyes. He wondered how the boy could handle sleeping so little every night and still have enough energy every day. The most impressive thing is that Lance chooses to use that energy to annoy the living hell out of Keith. “Has anyone seen Lance?” Hunk asked, as if reading Keith’s mind.

 

Everyone looked around for a moment. They hadn’t.

 

“Knowing him, he’s probably still asleep.” Pidge commented with a sly grin. Hunk laughed and Shiro chuckled. Keith glared.

 

Lance yawned tiredly as he roamed the halls. He had been awake for the past hour, before anyone else even woke up. Ultimately, he probably ended up getting around 4 hours of sleep, maybe less. He wasn’t quite hungry and, frankly speaking, he didn’t quite want to interact with the other Paladins just yet. He figured he could go and check on Blue again before dutifully going to the kitchen and meeting with the others. He was going to put on an act that he was still asleep, and he even kept his pajamas on to look convincing.

 

“Blue.” A smile tugged at his lips when he saw his lion. “How is everything? Are you better?” He gave the lion a hug, or, rather, he gave the lion’s leg a hug. The blue lion hummed softly, as if to say he felt okay. “Good to hear.” Lance nodded.

 

“Lance?” Lance turned his head, wondering who called his name. “Oh so glad you’re here!!” It sounded like Coran.

 

“Am I hearing things?” Lance mumbled to Blue. “Coran? Is that you?” Lance shouted and wondered if he was going crazy.

 

“Yes, yes! I’m over here!” Lance tried to follow the sound. He looked left to right trying to find Coran. “To your right!” Lance turned right. “That’s too much right! Go back left.” Lance obliged. “Yes! Now walk three steps forward. Wonderful! I’m down here. Right in front of you!” Coran cheered.

 

Lance looked down, but all he saw was a pile of different metals, objects and tools. He wondered how that ended up happening. He continued to stare for a moment before he saw a hint of Coran’s bright red mustache. “Coran?? Are you okay?” He immediately started to pick up the different pieces and push them off of Coran. “How did this even happen?”

 

“I’m quite alright, really! I was working on some adjustments for the temperature adjuster and I realized I needed a wrench. It was all the way up at the top shelf and when I reached to grab it everything fell on me! Can you believe it?” Coran chuckled. Lance smiled, he loved how energetic Coran could be. “Thank you!” The man said once he was finally freed from the mess.

 

“Sure thing C.” Lance shrugged, standing up. “Are you sure you’re alright though? Did you get hurt?” Coran shook his head, but Lance couldn’t help but stay worried.

 

“Oh I’m fine! No worries.” Coran smiled. He then looked at his watch, wondering how much time he wasted under that pile of random stuff. His eyes widened. “Quiznak! Look at the time. I’ve still got to finish the adjustments before we leave again!” Coran cursed. “Sorry, but I’ve got to run.” He grabbed one of the tools lying on the floor, probably the one he was here for.

 

“Oh, alright. See you around.” Lance shoved his hands in his pockets as he saw Coran run. He was about to turn and return to talking to the blue lion before he heard a crashing noise. “Coran??” He ran towards him.

 

“Quiznak!” Coran grunted in pain. He looked over at Lance and offered a smile. “I think I broke a leg.” The two boys stared at each other for a few moments, and then Lance chuckled.

 

“Should someone wake him up?” Hunk asked as he finished making breakfast. “He’ll miss the most important meal of the day.”

 

“No it’s quite alright, let him sleep.” Allura said disappointedly. She wanted to discuss her plans for the day, but she needed all of the paladins. She had plans to visit one of the many planets that had requested Voltron’s aid. It was relatively close, and the planet had been a good ally to Altea in the past.

 

“He needs to be more responsible.” Shiro sighed softly. Everyone was silent, but Keith was fuming. Shiro didn’t know half of what Lance did for the team. The boy more than deserved an extra hour of sleep.

 

“You forget that he was hit by a quintessence beam just yesterday in order to get us all to safety. He’s probably just worn out from almost dying.” Keith said sharply but with a sickly sweet voice. He had to refrain himself from cursing at Shiro. Everyone was looking at Keith now, surprised that he defended Lance.

  
“Don’t you two have this unspoken rivalry or something?” Hunk raised a brow. Keith shrugged, not quite having the energy nor the patience to deal with this, with anyone really. Well, with anyone that wasn’t Lance. He really missed having full nights of sleep, but it was so damn worth not sleeping if it meant he was spending time with Lance. Keith smiled softly at the memory of the previous night.

 

And that’s when it hit him. He started to have feelings for Lance.

 

“Oh fuck.” He muttered. Shiro raised a brow, but everyone else chose to ignore the random cursing.

 

“Language Keith.” Shiro smiled at him. Keith glared back, but didn’t say anything. “Alright, I’ll go see if L-“ He was interrupted by a sound coming from the hallway. It was Lance’s voice. “Huh, speak of the devil.”

 

“Coran, what have you been eating? You’re so heavy. Sheesh.” Lance grumbled, exertion basically dripping from his voice. “Hey stop squirming around.” He ordered.

 

“I’ll have you know my diet is perfectly fine.” Coran huffed, leaning on Lance. “In fact, you should try it! It’ll leave you with great stamina.”

 

“What’s happening over there?” Pidge wondered, but couldn’t be bothered to get up and actually see. Shiro, Allura and Keith could. They left the kitchen, leaving Pidge to her designs and Hunk to his breakfast.

 

Keith’s heart sunk and a wave of jealousy hit him. Lance was giving Coran a piggy back ride. Why that bothered him so much, Keith didn’t know. “What’s happening here?” He asked inquisitively, almost like he was betrayed.

 

“I broke my leg!” Coran was a bit too cheerful. “So Lance here offered to carry me to the infirmary.” Keith felt his heart settle a bit. He glanced at Lance, and was surprised when his eyes were met with Lance’s brown ones. The two boys stared at each other. Lance smiled. Keith turned his head and looked away as he felt his face turn red.

 

“Oh dear.” Allura mumbled. “Are you alright?” She walked over towards the two boys, placing a hand on Coran’s shoulder.

 

“Yes, your highness.” Coran smiled.

 

“Do you want me to take over, Lance?” Shiro looked at the boy. He felt a slight guilt for what he said earlier. He realized Keith was right, and that he didn’t give Lance as much credit as he deserved. The brown haired boy just shrugged. He didn’t really mind carrying Coran all the way to the infirmary, but he had to admit he was getting tired. Shiro smiled and walked over to them.

 

Shiro took Coran from Lance and already started making his way towards the infirmary. Princess Allura accompanied them; Keith figured she was worried about the red head. Keith turned his head and looked at Lance, he smirked when he saw the boy stretching his back. “Was he really that heavy?” He asked.

 

“You’ve no idea.” Lance chuckled. Keith decided it wasn’t forced, but wasn’t genuine either. Lance was staring at the trio, and his eyes lingered on Coran. “He’ll be fine.” Lance snapped his head towards Keith.

 

“How’d you know I was-“

 

“It’s obvious. You hate it when people worry about you, but you can’t seem to stop yourself from worrying about others even though you nearly died and he just broke a bone. Hypocrite.” Keith crossed his arms, and headed back towards the kitchen. Eventually, Lance joined him.

 

“Hey, Lance! You’re here just in time to try out my new recipe.” Hunk practically shoved Lance onto one of the chairs and served him something. “What do you think?”

 

The day continued as it normally would. The paladins ate, laughed and trained together. Allura was waiting for Coran to be better again before she spoke to the paladins. She needed her full team to be prepared for combat, and that included Coran.

 

Keith found that his eyes continuously wondered to wherever Lance was, and often times their eyes would sometimes connect. Keith would look away quickly, afraid that he’s been caught, but Lance didn’t really think much of it.

 

Despite the normality of the day, the ship became hotter and hotter after every hour that passed. Soon, the paladins were too overheated to keep training. Pidge and Hunk decided they couldn’t wait for Coran to be better again, and decided they would try and figure out how to fix the altean ac. Lance praised them as they left to complete their task.

 

Shiro decided he was going to see how Allura and Coran were, leaving Keith and Lance to their lonesome selves. Keith couldn’t help but smile. He realized he was looking forward to talking to just Lance. He hated how attached he got to the boy, but he couldn’t help it.

 

Keith looked at Lance about to ask something, anything, to start a conversation. His words were cut short when he took a look at him. Lance looked so tired… His eyes were droopy and his breath was forced. It was almost like standing up was too much energy on it’s own. He was leaning slightly against one of the walls, trying to catch his breath. Usually he’d be fine with regular training, but the heat was getting to him… at least that’s what Keith concluded.

 

Lance soon noticed Keith was staring at him with an odd expression in his face. He immediately stood up straight, trying to act like nothing was wrong. “I bet I can take out more drones than you.” He offered Keith a cocky grin. Keith was still staring at him with that odd, worried expression. Lance’s grin faltered. “Keith?” He tried.

 

“Want to go to the pool?” Keith asked instead, deciding not to push Lance right now. The boy blinked a bit surprised, but quickly offered up another smile.

 

“Sure, why not?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!   
> Sorry I disappeared for a bit… First week back at uni and everythings already a mess!   
> I just wanted to say thank you all so much for the wonderfully kind words and amazing support you've given me!  
> I'm really thankful for all of you wonderful readers for giving this fic a shot :)   
> Honestly my inspiration to write more not gunna lie.   
> Anyways, here are the precious boys and their pool adventures!!!  
> Hope you enjoy ^^

Keith thought going to the pool would be a really good idea. First of all, Lance looked extremely tired, and he probably was, so the pool would be a nice relaxing activity. Secondly, it was incredibly hot inside the ship, meaning that the pool would be a really nice cooling off activity. Thirdly, this gave Keith a chance to interact more with Lance.

 

Keith immediately realized that the pool was a bad idea when he spotted Lance waiting for him across the hall. He was messing with the hem of his towel, leaning casually against the wall, but the thing that caught Keith off guard was the fact that he was wearing nothing but his swimming trunks. Keith couldn’t stop himself from staring at Lance.

 

His chocolate toned skin was covered with small scars from all of the injuries he’s sustained, both in and out of combat. The latest addition was an unnatural shade of purple scar-shaped mark on his chest, probably from the quintessence blast, but it thankfully wasn’t too noticeable since it blended with Lance’s skin. Keith noticed all of the muscles usually hidden by clothes and battle gear. His eyes unwittingly paused at Lance’s V line, contouring the lines formed by his abs and finally landing at his chest.

 

“Oh, you’re here. Didn’t hear you walk in.” Lance said once he noticed Keith was just standing there. Why was he standing there? Keith forced a cough, giving himself an excuse to look away.

 

“It’s fine. Let’s go.” He walked in front of Lance, not trusting himself not to stare. He really didn’t want Lance to find out about his unrequited crush.

 

“You okay?” Lance raised a brow, staring that the boy in front of him as he followed. “You seem a bit stiff.”

 

“No. I’m fine.” Keith took in a deep breath. “I was just lost in… thought.” He chocked slightly.

 

“Fair enough.” Lance shrugged, deciding it would be best to leave the subject alone. The two walked in silence, not the awkward what-do-I-say silence but rather the comforting silence. They were content with the other’s presence, and oddly enough Lance was okay with that. If it were any other time, he’d probably try to annoy Keith just to avoid that silence, but this time he felt comfortable. It was odd.

 

Eventually, the two finally reached the pool. It was spacious and deep, but most importantly it was cold. Lance smiled, and dropped his towel on the ground. He looked over at Keith, who was far too busy trying not to stare, and grabbed his hand.

 

Keith felt his face turn into a deep shade of red. He couldn’t help but wonder if Lance meant anything by that gesture. His question was quickly answered when he felt a strong tug pull him towards Lance… and, consequently, into the cold pool.

 

The raven-haired boy couldn’t believe he didn’t expect Lance to throw him into the pool like that. He glared at Lance the moment he managed to get his head out of the water. He was so going to kick his ass later.

 

His scowl, however, immediately vanished the exact second he heard Lance laugh so carelessly and saw him smile so brightly. It warmed his heart to see someone so sad look so happy. It warmed his heart to see Lance happy. He smiled.

 

“ _That_ was uncalled for.” He complained, splashing water towards the tanned boy and earning yet another round of laughter. Keith couldn’t help but smile.

 

“Maybe, but it sure as hell was fun.” Lance splashed a wave of water back. Keith glared, but Lance just smiled and splashed more water at him.

 

“Oh it’s on.” And thus, the great water wars began.

 

The two boys continued to shoot water at each other. Keith would shoot a splash and Lance would dodge and dive straight into the water, only to grab Keith’s legs and drag him down under. Keith would manage to get out of the water, only to jump back in like a canon ball, creating a massive wave.

 

Lance and Keith continued their intense water brawl. They refused to let the other get the upper hand and win. And it was only after a long while that the two decided to call it a truce and catch their breaths. They ended up sitting at the edge of the pool with the water dripping continuously from their wet bodies. It was silent.

 

Lance looked over at Keith. He was peacefully staring into the pool, wondering how he could start up another conversation with Lance. He was so different from how Lance had always imagined him, so much so that he almost didn’t believe this was the same Keith he knew. He wondered when exactly things became so different, but he was glad that they did.

 

Keith felt different. He made Lance feel like he could just relax, but actually relax instead of the shitty lazy front he always put up. Maybe one day he’d be able to drop that front all together… or maybe not. The brown haired boy smiled softly, and turned his head to look at his feet still dipped in the water.

 

On the other hand, Keith was still thinking about a way to spark up a conversation. He didn’t want to risk prying, especially since he did a lot of that yesterday, but he also didn’t want to just settle with small talk and dumb jokes. He wanted to actually talk to Lance, but he didn’t know how.

 

“You know, being friends with you is a billion times better than being a rival.” Lance ended up being the brave soul that spoke up. He offered Keith a smile. “But next time we end up having a water fight, I’ll win.” Keith blinked.

 

“Whatever. But I swear it’ll be the end of you if you push me into the pool again.” He smirked, earning a chuckle from Lance.

 

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say.” Lance closed his tired eyes, leaning his head back slightly and supporting his weight with his hands behind him. He still had a smile etched on his lips.

 

“You should go sleep.” Keith stated, hoping Lance would actually do as he suggested. “You look like shit.” Lance snapped his eyes open and stared at Keith with a curious brow lifted slightly.

 

“Are you calling me ugly?” He knew what Keith meant, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t give the boy a hard time.

 

“What? No! You’re not ugly!” Keith said almost instantly.

 

“So you think I’m pretty?” Lance smirked, leaning in slightly. “Why thank you Keith.”

 

“N-no! I didn’t say that either.” Keith felt his face go red. He pushed Lance away, trying to prevent the boy from noticing his fluster.

 

“You’re breaking my poor heart here Keith!” Lance whined, basically leaning in on the other boy. Keith glared realizing that Lance was doing this on purpose. What a jerk. Keith sighed and looked back towards the water.

 

“Keith?” Lance suddenly realized that maybe he took it a step too far. “I… uh. Sorry.” He scratched the nape of his neck. “Didn’t mean to make things awkward.” He mumbled, giving Keith some space to breathe. Keith looked back at Lance… damn he was attractive. He offered a smile.

 

“It’s fine.” He said simply, deciding that maybe going back to silence might be the best idea. Lance looked at the boy for a moment before looking back towards the water.

 

“I’m really tired.” He admitted.

 

“I know.” Keith nodded his head slightly. He closed his eyes. More silence. He bit his lip nervously, wondering if the next few words that were to come out of his mouth were something he should keep to himself, if they would hinder Keith and Lance’s friendship. “I’ve seen you at night.” He opened his dark eyes, looking at the ceiling above him. “You work hard Lance. It’s actually infuriating sometimes.”

 

Lance’s eyes widened. He knew. He _knew._ How did he know? Nobody was supposed to know. Lance had specifically chosen the only time every one on the damn ship was asleep, but somehow Keith still had seen him. Was he so bad at everything he couldn’t even keep his nightly training a secret?

 

“How long?” Keith ventured to ask. “How long have you been training at night?” He clarified.

 

“Since we first formed Voltron.” Lance whispered. Keith finally looked at the boy, wondering how he kept a secret like that for so long and how he hadn’t passed out so many times before. He was surprised to see Lance looking down, defeated.

 

It was like someone had uncovered every dark little secret from him. For the longest time, Lance had built a wall to hide behind. That wall was his mask. It was the identity he wanted others to believe was his. Keith was slowly breaking through that thick, carefully constructed wall. Last night was bad enough when he decided to talk about his family, but now this as well? What else did Keith know? What did everyone else know?

 

“Nobody else knows.” Keith said quickly. He felt guilt hang over him. He wondered if maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. “And I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” Lance was quiet, but he was slightly relieved. “Honestly, I just couldn’t sleep one night and decided to go train a bit. You happened to be using the training room and I didn’t want to bother you so I left you alone. Curiosity got the better of me and I ended up checking on you every night.” He tried to explain himself, but probably ended up digging a deeper hole for himself. Lance was still silent too. “Look, I’m just worried about you okay?” He confessed truthfully. His gaze was now fully at Lance, and his body was turned towards the brunet. His eyes glossed over him, and landed on the purple scar left behind on the boy’s chest by the previous day’s events. “You overwork yourself every night and do so much during the day. You keep acting like everything’s okay when it really isn’t. You do so much for everyone and so little for yourself.” Keith realized he was talking far too much, and revealing a bit too much. Any more and it would start to sound like a confession, and holy shit he did not want Lance to realize how he truly felt. He finally managed to get Lance to be his friend, and he really didn’t want to scare him away immediately. But somehow, he kept talking. “I hate watching you do this to yourself.” He gently placed a hand on Lance’s fresh scar.

 

Lance finally looked up. He didn’t know what to say. He felt like he had lost all control over the few things he had control over. There was a crack on his wall, a huge one. He felt a familiar anxiety wash over him, taking away the small bit of confidence he had and throwing it away. His head felt clouded and his heart sank. He was lost.

 

Yet, when Keith placed his soft hands against his chest, against his scar, that cloud of terror left. Everything cleared up. There was no hate, no anger and no judgment in Keith’s intentions. There was only care.

 

“I’m sorry.” Keith whispered softly. “I know I shouldn’t have pried on you like that, but I couldn’t help it. You are so much more than you say you are. Are you mad at me?” He wondered if their friendship was over after this conversation. If it was, he wondered if they would go back to that dumb rivalry they had for each other for so long, but then again, probably not. Would they simply become estranged? Would Keith never again be able to spend time with Lance? He hoped for the opposite.

 

Keith’s words were what had rattled Lance the most. The intense care he admitted having was far more than Lance could expect from anyone, even from the people closest to him. What did he mean by those words? Why did he think that Lance was more when he felt like he was less?

 

The brunet wasn’t quite sure what to say. He wasn’t sure whether or not he should forgive Keith for the damage he dealt on his walls. He wasn’t sure whether or not he should thank him for that same action. He was confused, but his heart wouldn’t forgive him if he pushed Keith aside. Keith had somehow become special, and it was a bit too late to turn back.

 

Lance placed his hand on top of the hand Keith had left on his chest. “I’m not mad.” He thought carefully, looking for the right words. “It’s ok.” He said mostly to himself than to Keith, yet that small reassurance comforted both boys. “I’ll be okay Keith.” He looked at the other straight in the eyes. “I don’t want to be a burden on you, on anyone while we are fighting. I know I’m not the best of paladins, but that’s why I train at night.” He smiled softly. “But… you’re right. It can get pretty exhausting after a while.” Keith listened carefully to each word. “Would it be okay if I laid down for a bit?”

 

“I wouldn’t be against it.” Keith answered. Lance smiled softly. He gently lowered himself and placed his head against Keith’s lap and closed his eyes, still holding on to Keith’s hand, to Keith’s comfort.

 

He honestly didn’t know what he felt anymore. He didn’t know what kind of relationship he had with Keith. He didn’t know if they were friends, best friends or something else. The only thing he did know is that he felt an odd serenity with Keith.

 

“Lance?” Keith spoke tenderly after a few moments.

 

“Hmm?” The boy hummed, already feeling himself fall asleep.

 

“You were never a burden.” Lance felt a smile fall on his lips. He knew those words were a lie, yet Keith made them seem like a truth. How odd.

 

Everything has become so odd.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Just wanted to say thanks again for all the awesome support you've given me <3  
> Sorry about being late on this chapter… but here it is!  
> I lowkey have to present a project tomorrow, but who needs sleep amiright? Klance is 100000 times more important haha  
> Anyways, enjoy!

Lance woke up with slight confusion. First of all, he was in his room. Last time he checked he fell asleep by the pool. Second of all, his room looked completely different from what it normally looked like.

 

His bed was on the wrong side of the room and none of his things were where he left them. The walls were blank, which was rather odd considering how he had started putting up little things he gathered from the planets he visited as a sort of décor. Even the sheets on his bed were different.

 

Lance heard the sound of paper being flipped. Someone was reading something. His tired eyes looked over towards his desk, where he figured the sound was coming from. It was Keith. What was Keith doing in his room?

 

This wasn’t his room.

 

Lance snapped awake. What was he doing in Keith’s room? He shut his chocolate eyes momentarily, deciding on what to do. Slowly, and quietly, he started to get up. He placed his bare feet on the metal floor of the ship, instantly feeling the coolness of the metal against his skin. He shivered slightly, realizing it was actually a lot colder than before. Hunk and Pidge must’ve fixed the AC. He took the warm blankets and wrapped them around him, deciding to not yet leave the warmth and comfort they offered.

 

“What are you reading?” Lance hummed, finally standing up and walking beside Keith.

 

The black haired boy looked up at Lance and smiled softly. “Combat strategies.” He responded. Lance looked at the book, it really was just some boring notes about Altean battle tactics –probably translated by Pidge. Keith never ceased to surprise Lance. “How are you feeling?” Lance snapped his head back towards Keith.

 

“Groggy.” He mumbled, yawning slightly. “Why is it so cold?” He rubbed his eyes, trying to see if he could rub away his sleepiness.

 

“Pidge overdid it with the AC. So now the ship is a tundra instead of a desert.” Lance chuckled. That sounds about right. Keith smiled, he was glad to see the boy looked better than before.

 

Lance no longer had dark circles under his eyes, and he no longer looked like he was about to pass out. He looked sleepy, but not tired. It isn’t too surprising though; Lance had slept for nearly the entire day, after all. He slept for so long that it was almost dinnertime.

 

Keith had stayed with Lance by the pool for quite a while, it was only when it started to get uncomfortably cold that he decided they should move. He didn’t quite have the heart to wake up Lance, especially since the boy really needed to sleep. Honestly, if it were up to him he wouldn’t have left. He rather liked having Lance sleep on him like that, especially since Lance ended up falling asleep while holding his hand. Lance, however, started shivering when the temperature became cooler. It was bad enough he was always tired, so Keith figured he shouldn’t have to also be sick.

 

“Thanks, by the way.” Lance yawned again. He lazily nestled in further into the blankets, wondering if he’d ever have the courage to take them off. “Best nap I’ve ever had.”

 

“Nap?” Keith tried to hold back a laugh. “Sure thing Lance.”

 

Lance raised a brow. “What’s so funny?” He asked, but Keith shook his head and closed his book. “Keith.” Lance groaned, already thinking of ways to persuade Keith to give him an answer.

 

“It’s nothing, really. You just slept for a long time. Though I suggest you get changed. Swim trunks aren’t the greatest things to wear when you’re in a winter wonderland.” Lance sighed. He probably should return Keith’s blankets to him. “But feel free to stay here… if you’d like.” Keith added, looking back at Lance. “You can even borrow some of my clothes if you don’t feel like leaving just yet.”

 

“My room is down the hall.” Lance raised a brow.

 

“It’s still a walk away.” Keith shrugged. Lance smiled softly.

 

“Aw, you’re gunna miss me!” He grinned, winking at Keith. “I knew you loved me.” Keith bit his tongue, trying not to react too badly towards what Lance said. He didn’t love the guy, but he did like him…really, really like him. He turned back towards his book, trying not to notice how warm his face felt.

 

“Whatever.” He grumbled. “Go get dressed already, or are you just going to stay half naked for the rest of the night?” Keith turned to Lance. “Not that I’d mind, it’s not a bad sight.” He winked back. Lance: 1 – Keith: 1.

 

Lance watched the boy in silence, feeling his face grow red. Since when did Keith act all smooth and suave? “Whatever.” He grumbled back, trying to imitate Keith. The raven-haired boy could only laugh. Lance blinked slightly, surprised by that laugh, that beautiful laugh. What?

 

“I… I’m going to go to my room.” He said quickly, trying to get a hold of himself. Why did he suddenly feel dizzy? Keith looked a bit sad, but Lance needed a moment to himself, despite not wanting to go. “I’ll be right back.” He offered a smile, and ruffled Keith’s hair before leaving.

 

“You still have my blankets on you.” Keith grumbled slightly after he left. He hoped Lance would actually come back soon. He rather liked having the tall boy in his room. It felt like they were closer, which they were. Keith liked that.

 

Lance quickly entered his room, shutting the door behind him. He reluctantly took off Keith’s blankets and started putting on some actual clothes. He debated whether or not he wanted to take a quick shower, but he didn’t want to make Keith wait. Not that Keith would be waiting. After all, why would he wait on Lance?

 

He closed his eyes softly. What the hell was happening? He took a deep breath and brushed his hair back. He looked over at Keith’s blankets and smiled softly. He folded them and got ready to head back over to Keith’s room, where Keith stood. He opened the door and took a step out.

 

He dropped the blankets on the floor, and soon joined them. There was a sharp pain on his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to take in deep breaths. He clutched his chest, trying to will the pain away.

 

“Lance?” The boy looked up, not sure who he expected to be there asking for his name. It was Hunk. “Are you okay?” Lance took a deep breath. He didn’t want the others to worry.

 

“Yeah, I just dropped these blankets.” He forced a laugh, surprised that he managed to sound even a bit normal. “Whoops.” He picked them up, and forced himself to stand up.

 

“Lance…” Hunk looked over at the boy. “Are you sure everything’s okay?” Hunk placed a hand on his shoulder. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Lance smiled, cursing himself for letting Hunk worry about him like this. He liked seeing him happy, not worried. Damn it.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lance shrugged, relieved to feel the pain fade away slightly. It was passing away, which was good. “Say, didn’t you have a couple of recipes you wanted to try?” Lance raised a brow. “You should make me some, I haven’t eaten anything yet and I’m kind of hungry.” He was trying to change the subject, and he knew Hunk wouldn’t resist food talk.

 

“Sure thing buddy!” Hunk smiled, giving him the thumbs up. “Prepare to taste heaven.” He said. “Everyone should be going to the kitchen soon, you should join them. I’ll be there soon, I’m about to call over Keith.” Lance’s eyes lit up.

 

“I can go get him for you.” He offered, hoping Hunk wouldn’t think much of it.

 

“Sure.” He didn’t. He shrugged instead. “But remember, I’m the best friend.” Lance blinked, confused. “What? I’ve noticed how friendly you two have been acting around each other. It’s about time too. Friends make better teammates than rivals.” Lance shook his head and smiled.

 

“Yeah, he’s actually not a bad person.”

 

“ You know he asked about you the other day.” Lance looked at Hunk, forgetting completely about everything that just happened.

 

“What?” He blinked. “What did he say?”

 

“Nothing important, just about why you’re such an idiot.” Lance felt disappointed. That’s what Keith asked? Lame. “Kidding.” Hunk laughed. “Anyways, see you soon. Don’t be late for dinner, I’m making it special for you.”

 

“What’s the occasion?” Lance grinned, but the other boy just shrugged.

 

“Just feeling like it.” He answered, already walking towards the kitchen. He didn’t make it too far before he stopped and looked back at Lance. “It wasn’t because of the hit you took, was it?” He looked serious. Lance blinked.

 

“It’s nothing, really.” Lance tried again, hoping Hunk would just forget about what he saw. The boy nodded and sighed, he wasn’t too happy with the answer Lance gave him, but he couldn’t do much about it. Instead he continued walking towards the kitchen, leaving Lance alone in the hallway.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In advance… I'm sorry. ;u;

Keith perked up when he heard a knock on his door. He knew it was Lance and he was more than happy to answer the door. He never thought he’d be excited to see Lance as much as he was now.

 

His excitement died down quickly. “Lance?” He looked at the boy. He still had that cocky smile on his lips and that easy going behavior, his face looked relaxed and he was acting normal, but his eyes betrayed him… they always did. He was in pain.

 

“Hunk’s cooking dinner. Want to go eat?” Lance tried not to notice how worried Keith looked. He tried not to notice how easily the boy saw through his act. He tried not to notice how he was actually happy that he did.

 

“Lance what’s wrong?” Keith tried not to seem too worried, but he couldn’t help it. He was damn worried. The boy had been acting strange all day. Keith’s eyes went from Lance’s pained eyes to his chest. He remembered the purple scar, and although it was now covered by Lance’s shirt he still remembered it as clear as day. He placed a hand over it. “Is it this?” He looked back at Lance.

 

“No. I’m fine. Really.” He looked down, already knowing he wasn’t being very convincing. Keith just stared at him, waiting for the right answer. Lance didn’t want to give it to him. “Here are your blankets back.” Lance offered a smile instead, holding up the folded blankets.

 

“Why do you do that?” Lance was confused. “Why do you always act like nothing is wrong?” Keith clarified. “It’s infuriating.”

 

“I don’t-“ Lance started, but was quickly interrupted by Keith’s loud voice.

 

“You do!!” He was so frustrated by all the times Lance lied about his wellbeing. He was frustrated seeing Lance constantly getting hurt only to pretend everything is fine. Why the hell did he do that all the damn time?

 

Keith waited for a while, but Lance didn’t say a thing. Instead he looked away, as if he was trying to avoid this conversation altogether. Keith fumed.

 

“Fine. Have it your way.” Keith frowned, angrily grabbing his blankets back from Lance. “Jerk.” He mumbled, turning on his heel and walking back into his room and shutting the door behind him.

 

Lance couldn’t help but wince. He stared blankly at the closed door in front of him for a few minutes before he realized Keith was genuinely not going to let it go. He sighed. “At least go to dinner.” There was no response. Lance scratched the back of his neck nervously. There was still no response. He gave up.

 

Eventually Keith sighed and got off of his room, but only when his empty stomach was more apparent than his stubbornness. He slowly made his way towards the kitchen, where everyone else was probably already finishing up their meals, fuming the whole way.

 

He was a bit surprised to see everyone acting like they normally do. Pidge was thinking about one of her computer projects. Hunk was savoring his meal to the very last bite. Shiro was talking and laughing along with Allura and Coran. Lance was acting like a flamboyant idiot as always, making his dumb jokes and talking in the same stupid way. He made great movements and spoke with an impeccable ease. Yet there was still a ghost of pain showing in his eyes.

 

Nobody noticed. Nobody _ever_ noticed. And the worst part about it is that Keith himself didn’t noticed once before. He was once like the others who simply let that idiot do whatever theatrics he wanted and ignore any important details.

 

“Hey Keith.” Shiro waved. “Lance said you were busy reading, but I didn’t really think you’d almost skip a meal because of that.” Shiro chuckled lightly.

 

“It was a good book.” Keith looked over at Lance, but the boy didn’t even look up. Of course he was going to be difficult. “So what did you make this time Hunk?” Keith looked over at the yellow paladin as he took a seat next to Shiro.

 

“Altean stroganoff.” Hunk grinned.

 

“It’s pretty good.” Lance said looking up at Hunk with a smile. “Then again everything you make is pretty good.” It looked like Lance had already finished eating. Most of them had, actually.

 

“I agree! Your earthly culinary skills are quite impressive Hunk.” Coran grinned.

 

“How’s your leg Coran?” Keith asked as he made a plate for himself.

 

“Oh as good as new.” The ginger Altean flashed another grin.” That does remind me though, I still have to fix that pesky unit.” He sighed. “If you’ll excuse me Gentleman.” Coran turned to Allura. “Your highness.” He gestured a bow and started to walk away.

 

“Actually, would you mind if I tagged along Coran?” Lance got up from his seat and walked over towards the Altean man. Keith felt a wave of jealousy hit him. Damn it Lance, why do you always go to that guy?

 

“Not at all. The more the merrier!” And so, the two left. Keith didn’t even look as they left, he would rather not even think about Lance right now.

 

“Did Lance say anything to you, Keith?” Hunk asked the moment the boy left. Keith looked up at him surprised, the others just looked at Keith expectantly.

 

“Not really.” He shrugged, wondering if Lance said anything to them or if they even knew anything. “Did something happen?” He asked.

 

“I don’t know yet.” Hunk sighed.

 

“He’s been acting weird.” Pidge frowned. “He’s been so serious lately.” Keith was a bit surprised they even noticed. Normally they’d just ignore half the things Lance said and did.

 

“Well, he didn’t tell me anything.” Keith tried not to sound as bitter as he felt. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so demanding from Lance, but the boy looked in pain and wouldn’t tell him anything. How else was he supposed to act? Happy? Now Lance wasn’t even looking at him. Now Lance was spending time with someone else. Lance didn’t even give him one of his stupid, annoyingly cocky grins…

 

“Hey Coran.” Lance thought for a moment, still debating whether or not he should even talk about this. “Hypothetically speaking, can quintessence stay in a person’s body even after treatment?” Coran turned to the boy and contemplated for a bit.

 

“That’s a possibility, sure.” He answered with a smile on his face. “Why? Is something wrong?”

 

“No, it’s probably nothing. I just think I might have a bit left in my body?” Lance shrugged, trying not to make it sound as bad as it felt.

 

“Well, I doubt it’ll be anything life threatening. Just don’t get hit by another quintessence beam.” Coran looked at the boy in the eye. “I mean it. Your body probably can’t take much more.” Lance nodded solemnly. “And go to the pods again. They should help little by little.”

 

“Thanks C.” Lance smiled. He was thankful he had Coran to talk to. Often times, the Altean wouldn’t really think much of whatever Lance said, and nearly nothing could bring down his chipper mood. Lance really appreciated that. The best thing about him was that often times his cheerful mood was contagious. “Hey, can you tell me more about Altea?” Lance asked, already happy to see the smile on Coran’s face.

 

“Sure!” Coran was enthusiastic. Altea was one of his favorite topics, not that Lance could blame him… It was always nice to remember home. And so, Coran started talking more and more about his home planet and Lance just listened, sometimes adding in a joke or bringing up a question. They kept on talking until even after the air conditioning unit was fixed and the ship wasn’t nearly as cold.

 

Eventually though, after quite a few hours, the two parted ways. Coran went to look for the princess and give in a report while Lance went to Blue to talk with his lion. He’s been thinking about Blue for a while, and he still felt guilty for what he put Blue through.

 

As he started getting closer and closer towards where all of the lions were being kept, he saw a figure standing by the entrance. It was Keith. Lance wondered what he was doing there, but it was obvious. He was waiting. Patiently too…

 

“Hey.” Lance offered a smile, wondering if Keith was still mad at him. The raven-haired boy leaned against the cool metal wall. His arms were crossed and his eyes were locked on Lance. He wasn’t going to budge.

 

“Are you going to ignore me for the rest of the day?” Wait… was Keith mad about something? Lance didn’t really have anything to say to him during dinner, and he didn’t avidly avoid the boy either. He felt slightly confused. Especially since Keith seemed a bit spiteful. “Are you going to talk?” Lance sighed. Of course he wouldn’t drop the topic. He was so damn stubborn.

 

“Keith, there really isn’t anything to talk about.” The pain was gone by now and he knew it wasn’t anything too bad after his talk with Coran, so he would be fine. No one needed to know about it, not even Keith. “Look, I’m going to check up on Blue. Let’s talk later?” He started moving away from the boy, not quite wanting to talk to him.

 

“There is. I noticed.” Keith looked at Lance in the eye, knowing exactly how to get a reaction from him as well as how to convince him not to go. “They noticed.” He noticed Lance’s eyes show a hint of panic, but just as quickly as it appeared, it left. Lance didn’t move, though.

 

“Noticed what?” Lance groaned. “Look, Keith. I’m fine. I just had a small problem and it’s basically fixed. It’s nothing to worry about. Seriously.” Lance tried one more time to appease Keith, but the other boy didn’t seem to believe him.

 

“I could’ve helped you fix whatever problem you were having. Or at least been there for you.” Lance opened his mouth to speak, probably more excuses, but Keith didn’t let him. “You know it’s actually irritating how often you put yourself out there for other people and how you refuse to let others do the same. Why won’t you let me in?” The last sentence wasn’t supposed to come out, but it slipped. Keith’s eyes widened in slight terror, but he quietly looked at Lance, wondering how the hell he’d react.

 

The boy was silent. And just when Keith was going to give up, Lance spoke.

 

“It’s hard.” He said quietly. “I haven’t let anyone in Keith. Not for years if ever.” Lance didn’t know why he was even saying this, but he hoped it would be enough. Although, if he was being honest, he did let one person in, but only if ridiculously large blue lions were considered people. Blue forced him into the life of a paladin, but he was also always there for Lance. It also helped that the two were connected to each other.

 

“So let me be the first.” Keith whispered softly, placing a gentle hand on Lance’s shoulder. The taller boy looked at him, and then towards the lions. He was thinking if maybe it would be okay if he did. He sighed, still not giving in. He was about to speak, but Keith beat him to it. “I’ll ask one last time.” His words were soft, no longer holding the sharp edges they had before. “Are you okay?” They were genuine.

 

Keith really deserved more. He had honestly been there and cared for Lance for quite some time. Even when they were rivals, Keith did his best to help him out… Even when he hated Lance, he was still there. He was someone who cared. Lance didn’t feel like he deserved that, but Keith still treated him so kindly. Just the past few hours were a bit empty without him. He couldn’t believe there was a time they didn’t get along.

 

Lance decided he’d do it. He decided he’d tell Keith the truth, the _whole_ truth.

 

He took the boy’s hand and led him towards a room, any room. Somewhere they could talk in private and no one else would hear. Keith didn’t question him, but instead he just curiously followed behind. Eventually, when they did find and enter an empty room, Lance started speaking, creaking the door closed shut behind him.

 

“I never wanted to be a fighter pilot.” Lance spoke softly, not quite looking at the other boy beside him. Keith’s eyes widened, a bit surprised that he was actually getting some information… and also about Lance’s confession.

 

All that the boy ever talked about is how amazing of a pilot he’d become and how awesome of a job it was. He always seemed so enthusiastic about piloting and becoming a fighter pilot back at the Garrison… Keith couldn’t believe that his façade was that deep.

 

“Honestly,” Lance continued, “I wanted to be a guitarist. I already had a band too and we even had some sweet gigs at some small clubs and restaurants. It was always so exciting to perform with them.” Keith noticed how melancholy Lance sounded, and how he looked far into the distance as if mesmerized by the past.

 

“Why’d you attend the Garrison then?” Keith dared to ask. He didn’t want to push the boy, but his curiosity got the better of him. Then again, Lance did owe him answers. Lance finally looked at him again and gave a small, pathetically sad smile.

 

“I’ve told you about my family a few nights ago, so you know I’m a middle child out of 5 siblings. My older brother has a job as an engineer and thankfully can take care of himself, but my mom and dad still had four other kids they had to nurture. My sister has always been really smart and dreamed about going to Harvard, which she’s in now by the way.” Lance looked back down towards the ground, once more thinking about how things used to be. Once more remembering how much of a bother he always was. “The thing is, financially? Mom and dad were kind of screwed. Dad worked like a madman to make enough to get us by and still save up some for Mandy, and mom cooked and took care of us. Mandy had to spend her time studying if she wanted to get a good enough scholarship for college and my two younger siblings were too young to be able to do anything major to help. I just wanted to play the guitar, but as time went on I couldn’t. I became responsible for my siblings, although I didn’t mind it. I love Dallas and Daisy… they’re both really good kids. I had to help out in the house a lot too so that mom could have a break or two.

 

What’s worse is that if any of us got sick or injured, we’d be in a tight spot. Daisy had a few fever episodes and Dallas also got sick a lot. Mandy once fractured her ankle while playing soccer with her team.” Lance paused, remembering he hadn’t mentioned Mandy’s sport life. “Oh yeah, she’s not just smart but athletic too.” Lance smiled at the memory of the many, many games he went to. He was so damn proud of his sister. “And between all the medication and treatment, Mandy’s college funding was starting to get smaller and smaller. She would either have to get a full scholarship or go to a different school. I guess that’s around when this poor habit of mine started. I simply didn’t tell my mom whenever I got hurt or whenever I was sick. I never took sick days from school and I never complained regardless if it was a paper cut or a deep, painful wound. Every time I avoided going to the doctors it helped mom and dad. Not to mention mom already had enough to worry about.

 

I wasn’t really that important anyways. I mean, Mandy was a genius and I just wanted to play in a band that might’ve not even ended up successfully anyways. Mom and Dad had hopes for Mandy, and with me they just had worried encouragement. They hoped that I would change my mind and do something more productive or more guaranteed with my life… Though it’s not like they’d have enough to send me to college if Mandy went.” Lance started playing with the helm of his shirt nervously.

 

He never had told anyone this story before, and he never intended on it. Damn it Keith, why did he have to be so stupidly persistent?

 

Why did he have to be so _special_?

 

“As Mandy started getting closer and closer to graduating high school, it became apparent that she most likely wouldn’t have enough for her dream college. One night, I remember waking up to get a drink of water, but instead I ended up overhearing mom and dad arguing over whether or not they could send her. They seemed crushed, especially since they had two other children who might end up going to college too. How could they do that if they couldn’t even afford to send in one? It was at that moment I decided I’d sign up for the Garrison.” Lance sighed, closing his tired eyes.

 

“Why?” Lance looked at the boy.

 

“Because then I wouldn’t be a bother to them. They wouldn’t have to feed me, nor give a roof over my head. I had access to a free room and shitty meals, and lets not forget to mention the pathetic salaries they gave us. Mom wouldn’t have to ever deal with me annoying them anymore, and dad wouldn’t have to worry about my future. Sure I wouldn’t be able to help around the house, but at least I wouldn’t be there to make things harder. My parents were ecstatic when they found out I wanted to join. Too bad I wasn’t.” Lance forced another smile, trying to at least make it seem like he was okay with what ended up happening. He really wasn’t. “One night, before I went to the Garrison for good, everyone else was away to watch one of Mandy’s soccer games. I said I was too tired from studying and ended up being left behind since it was one of her last games. I spent the entire night finding out the account name and password for Mandy’s college savings and have been putting in almost all of my lousy salary there. It was a small amount, but it apparently helped her go to college, so I’m okay with that.”

 

Keith couldn’t help but stare in awe. The boy in front of him was actually amazing. He now knew Lance to be an overall selfless guy who does anything for others, but actually sacrificing his entire future just so his sister could have one? That was a lot. He didn’t think anyone could ever do that.

 

“I really hated the Garrison though.” He frowned at the memories of that place. “I wasn’t really good at anything there. The only thing I think I was interested in was being a fighter pilot, since I wasn’t really good with computers or mechanics. I thought I could learn how to be a decent pilot, but I was always a shitty one at best.” He faintly remembers one of many failed flight simulations he had. “Thankfully, Blue helps me out whenever we’re moving.” He smiled thinking about his lion, but that smile quickly vanished. “I was a burden at home, and I was a burden at the Garrison. I wanted to be good, but I just wasn’t. No matter how hard I tried it seemed like I was bound to fail. At least I was okay at shooting, I think that’s the only reason I managed to get by and pass.

 

I tried being friends with other people too. I hated the situation I was in, but at least I could maybe help others be okay with theirs. I got along with basically everyone… except for you. You were such a jerk when I was trying to be your friend, and it was so damn annoying.” Keith flinched, feeling a flicker of guilt wash over him. “But I guess I have to thank you for that.” The black haired boy was immediately confused. “If it wasn’t for my overwhelming desire to be better than you and wipe that smug off your face, I don’t think I would’ve done half as good as I did.” Lance chuckled slightly. “Though I’m glad we’re friends now… If we are still friends that is.” His face twisted into sadness. Another drop of guilt and regret hit Keith, so maybe he was being too hard on Lance. He just wanted the boy to be okay.

 

“Eventually the whole fiasco with Voltron happened, and I have to admit I was actually angry at Blue for picking me. Out of everyone in the Garrison, Blue picked the least qualified person. I’ve never been good enough at anything really, so why am I in this team? I constantly get my ass kicked and always need to have someone save me. I’m a burden. Since day one I’ve been a burden. When Hunk and I went to grab the yellow lion, Hunk had to save my ass when I was supposed to be covering his. I was completely useless when Sendak took over the ship… In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m to blame for that too. Shiro could’ve handled him if I wasn’t out cold, but instead I was used as a hostage. I’ve nearly lost Blue quite a few times for the dumbest of reasons. And just the other day I ended up getting hit by that stupid Galran beam because I was too useless to do anything else. I’m not a good paladin, and I don’t think I’ll ever be one. Despite all the training I’ve done and all the effort I put in… the bottom line is: I’m not good enough. The least I can do is pretend I’m fine. You guys won’t have to be worried about me, and you can focus on yourselves. You can focus on more important things. You can focus on being happy in this shitty Galra infested universe.” Lance looked at Keith dead in the eyes. He knew he should’ve stopped there, but if he was going to let Keith in… he was going to have to say this eventually so he might as well say it now.

 

“So every time you ask me if I’m okay or if everything’s wrong, the answer is I’m not okay and everything is wrong. I’ve never been okay. I’ll probably never be okay. Keith, I actually hate myself. I’ve thought about how much better everyone else would be without me. I’ve thought about _dying_. I’ve even let myself think about what would happen if I were never born. Everything would be so much better if I was gone. Yet I’m still here. I’m still trying. It’s stupid, but I want to be someone better. No matter how hard I try though, I just can’t. For now, all I can do is make stupid jokes and funny comments. All I can do is make the team laugh. I can’t let them know I’m this miserable and pathetic. I can’t let them know when I’m hurting. I can’t take away the one thing I’m good at… I can’t take their smiles away. And so, I say I’m okay. I say everything’s fine. I’ve always done that and I’ll keep doing it. Maybe one day it’ll be true, or maybe it won’t. At least I know they’ll be fine.” Lance looked down at his trembling hands.

 

“So stop asking me if I’m okay, alright? And please stop being mad at me when I say I’m fine. I don’t think I can handle you hating me again. That was fine before… but now… I…” Lance sighed and stopped talking. He didn’t really want to finish his sentence. He already felt stupid for being this attached to the black haired boy, and he already felt idiotic for spilling his story. He didn’t need any other reason to hate himself more. “I think I’m going to go sleep. I’m kind of tired.” He said instead, realizing he no longer had the energy or emotional capacity to be around anyone anymore. He felt drained.

 

He was about to turn around, but he felt Keith gently grab his hand and stop him. Lance didn’t want to even look at him. He already regretted opening his big mouth.

 

“I…” Keith started, but didn’t continue. He didn’t know how to react after finally getting the answers he wanted. He never expected Lance to be this depressed. He never thought Lance, the douchebag who makes annoying jokes and always makes others, to be this in pain.

 

“You don’t have to say anything.” Lance sighed. “You said you wanted in. Now you’re in. That’s all.” He really wished that were all… but now he probably lost a friend he couldn’t even face anymore.

 

“Lance…” Keith tried again, but what could he say? What magical words could he use to express everything he felt? If they existed, Keith couldn’t find them. So instead, he let go of the taller mans hand, only to give him a hug.

 

He refused to let go, and after a long while, Lance actually hugged him back. “You were never a burden.” He repeated the same words he said earlier in the day. “I won’t let you think that about yourself ever again, Lance.” He said that mostly to himself. “You are too good of a person for that.” His voice quivered slightly. “And…” He closed his eyes softly. “If you don’t love yourself, then for now… I will love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!   
> I just wanted to say thanks again for the lovely support you've given me!!!  
> I know this chapter is kind of larger than usual (though I don't think that's too big of an issue)… but hey! Progress.  
> I hope you guys liked it!


	14. Chapter 14

Keith couldn’t help but mentally curse himself for actually confessing his feelings to Lance after the boy finally opened up to him. What the actual hell was he thinking? No, he wasn’t thinking. He just opened his damn big mouth and words came out. He bit his lower lip nervously, already expecting some sort of rejection. But it never came. Instead he felt Lance’s reluctant hug become a tighter, more important gesture. He felt Lance place his head against his shoulder, and he swore he heard a small, quivering sob come from the other boy. He was crying? Keith gently placed his hand against Lance’s hair, sweetly pulling the boy closer.

 

Lance held the boy tightly, too afraid to let go. He was afraid he was imagining everything, and he was afraid that Keith didn’t really mean what he said. Yet despite his fear, he felt relief simultaneously. He felt relief because he expected Keith to just say everything’s okay and brush it off, but Keith didn’t even try to say it was all right. Keith understood that Lance himself wasn't okay. He understood that Lance was broken; and as sad as that was, Lance preferred to be seen as broken than to have to pretend to be okay. He felt relief that he didn't have to lie anymore, at least not to Keith.

 

Instead of claiming everything was okay, Keith said he would love him. Those words had gotten to Lance more than he cared to admit. No one, aside from his family who was basically required to say it to him, had said that before, after all… who could love someone who doesn’t even love himself? And yet Keith said he did. The black haired boy truly became someone far too special for Lance. He still didn’t know what exactly he felt towards the boy, but he knew he wanted to be with him always… He knew he wanted to feel Keith's warmth and comfort whenever they touched hands or hugged. He knew he wanted to hear Keith's beautiful laughter after a stupid joke or comment that Lance said. He knew he wanted to listen to Keith's voice even if they were harsh words of annoyance. He knew he wanted Keith's attention, always. He felt selfish, but he didn't care. He knew he wanted Keith.

 

The two stayed like that in silence for what felt like a short eternity. Neither wanted to move, but all great things must still come to an end. Lance reluctantly loosened his grip on Keith, already missing the warmth from their embrace. The two slowly released each other. “I…” Lance started, not too confident on his voice. Keith waited patiently waited for the boy and even offered a sympathetic smile free of judgement or any other negative emotions. “Sorry.” He muttered softly. “I didn’t mean to cry on you like that.” His voice was soft, barely audible. It was completely different from his normal flamboyant display. Keith was okay with that. “I’m okay now.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize…” Keith said slowly. “And… you don’t have to say you’re okay either, at least not to me. I want to know the truth, not empty comforts. I want to know how you really are, and hopefully be there for you whenever you want or need it.” Lance smiled softly. Keith decided that he would help Lance in any way he could, so that the next time Lance said he was okay it would be genuine. He was tired of seeing Lance destroy himself for others and to lie for their sakes, so he was determined to do whatever it takes to make Lance be happy and maybe even a bit selfish for once.

 

“Thank you.” Lance whispered softly. Keith nodded, smiling back at the boy. Lance then realized he actually never really told Keith what had happened prior to knocking on his door. “About what happened before… I um… I still have some quintessence in my body.” Keith became alarmed, he looked at the boy in front of him with wild eyes.

 

“So is that why you were in pain before?” He wondered if there was anything he could do to help. “Are you still in pain?”

 

“It is, but the pain comes and goes.” Lance placed a hand against his chest, where the purple scar, or rather the remnant of quintessence, was. His mind took him a few hours back, when it was Keith's hand against his chest. He tried not to think about how he wanted to go back to that tender moment. “I talked to Coran about it, he said to keep going to the pods. It’ll help.”

 

Keith nodded, he was happy that there was a solution to Lance’s problem. Yet he couldn’t help but feel jealous again. What had Coran done to get so close to Lance when not even Hunk, who knew Lance for years and was his closest friend, could get anything out of Lance? He sighed, at least Lance was actually talking to someone about his injuries instead of painfully hiding them. 

 

“He doesn’t really get worried like you guys and doesn’t really think twice about something unless it’s an emergency. He didn't even really question much about it after he told me what to do, instead his mind was on fixing the AC.” Lance mumbled softly. “Plus he knows how to deal with this.” He didn’t know why he sensed the need to explain himself, but he felt it was a bit unfair that Keith had to do so much to get some trivial information on Lance’s condition while Coran did not.

 

“I’m just glad you talked to someone about it.” Though Keith did wish that someone was him. Though it did make sense, Coran actually knew how to solve the problem… Lance smiled softly.

 

“You’re actually amazing.” He said mostly to himself with a smile on his lips. Keith tilted his head to the side, trying to decipher what Lance meant by that. Did he mean that because of what he said, or because of something else? Lance flushed slightly, he didn’t mean to let the words actually slip from his mouth. He instinctively bit his lip slightly, already trying to think of a way to avoid this conversation. “Hey, have you heard about up dog?” Lance asked, plastering a mischievous grin on his face.

 

“What? No, I haven’t…” Keith was officially confused. “What’s up dog?”

 

“Not much, what’s up with you?” Lance couldn’t help but laugh. He didn’t believe Keith would actually fall for it. That was too precious.

 

Keith glared at the boy. He himself couldn’t believe he fell for that, and he couldn’t believe out of all the things Lance could’ve said and done to change the subject, that’s what he chose. “I’m so going to kill you.” Keith groaned. Lance was just so weird. And Keith was in love with that.

 

“Do it. You won’t.” Lance chuckled, giving a wide grin already getting ready to open the door and run. Keith grinned back already starting to move towards Lance. He wouldn’t actually even so much as think about hurting Lance, but he couldn’t resist messing around with Lance… especially since it looked like this stupid banter made Lance seem less sad. “Oh shit, you will!" Lance cursed upon realization. "Okay, fine. Gotta catch me first then.” And with that, Lance began his great escape. He quickly opened the door behind him and bolted out of the room. It didn’t take long for him to hear Keith’s footsteps trailing behind him.

 

The two boys kept running through the castle like their lives depended on it. Lance might’ve had longer legs, but Keith was more agile. It was obvious that eventually Keith would catch up with Lance. Last time they raced, Lance had one hell of a head start since Keith couldn’t help but stare incredulously at the injured man galloping away like a dimwit for more than a few moments. This time, however, Lance was fine. The pain in his chest had subsided long ago, and he was basically as good as new, but he didn’t have as great of a head start as before. In fact, Keith kept almost catching up with Lance but the other boy always managed to do some sort of crazy stunt and get away at the last second. “You’ll never catch me!” Lance would yell, obviously trying to taunt Keith a bit. The truth was, he was getting closer and closer to catching Lance but the taller boy wanted to keep the silly chase going a little longer. It was like a breath of fresh air after such a grim topic.

 

The other boy would just grin and yell back. “Just you wait slowpoke. I’ll get my hands on you soon enough.” Lance couldn’t help but blush. The thought of Keith’s hands on him wasn’t nearly as disturbing as he wished it was, in fact it was welcomed. He recalled the warmth he felt from Keith’s hand, and the comfort he received from Keith’s hug. Being around the impatient, poor tempered boy was starting to feel peaceful and safe. He wanted nothing more than to be with him. Lance shook the thought out of his head. He didn’t really know what to think anymore, so instead he chose to run. He chose to ignore his mind and his heart, and to just focus on the adrenalin pumping through his veins. He could think about this some other time, but for now he wanted to mess around with his… friend.

 

Friend? For some reason, that word didn't fit, or rather, Lance didn't want it to fit. He wanted more, but he doubted he'd ever get more. Hell, he didn't even know what more he wanted. And then… "I will love you." Keith's words echoed in his mind. Lance blushed, but he decided to blame that on the heat from all the running. He didn't mean it that way, Lance figured. He meant it platonically… Right? 

 

Eventually, the fun chase came to a sad stop when Lance nearly crashed into someone. It was Shiro. He forced himself to stop running, panting slightly and trying to catch his breath. Keith wasn’t too far behind him and would catch up soon, and in fact he didn’t have more than a few seconds to spare if he wanted to escape. He had to get going, but Shiro seemed like he wanted to talk. Guess he lost.

 

“There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you and Keith. Where did you two go?” Lance smiled softly. Wouldn’t he like to know? Instead Lance shrugged, wanting to keep his moment with Keith to himself. Especially since the moment involved him basically falling apart in Keith’s welcoming, warm arms.

 

“He should be here in three, two…” Lance started counting down, and funny enough, Keith showed up the second after Lance counted to “…one.”

 

“Ha! Looks like I win again L-“ The raven-haired boy was planning on tackling the other boy and boast about his victory, and maybe even pester him to cook him something else as a victory token sometime. He did actually miss Lance’s cooking it was beyond delicious. The mere fact that Lance himself made it just for Keith was reason enough for it to be amazing. Instead, however, he came to a straight halt and shut up the moment he saw Shiro standing before Lance. He skidded a bit before being able to stop himself, nearly trampling over the two other boys. “Oh. Hey Shiro.” He caught his breath and regained his composure, trying to sound normal as though nothing happened.

 

Shiro looked slightly confused but decided not to ask. He figured Lance had said something trivial or made some silly bet with Keith to get him riled up, it was, after all, a classic Lance move. It was a bit odd this time, however, since Keith didn’t seem nearly as angry and annoyed as he usually was when it came to Lance’s antics. Usually Keith’s patience would run out quickly and he’d just do things to get back at the other boy. It was nice to see they were getting along. “Well, anyways… Allura wants everyone to meet up before going to bed. We have a new mission.” Both Lance and Keith straightened up and nodded.

 

“Sorry for keeping you waiting.” Lance already started walking towards the Bridge, where all of their meetings took place. Shiro was in front of him, still, leading the way. He offered Lance a smile, still trying to think of ways to make up for his judgmental blunder earlier in the day. When there was silence, Lance looked behind at Keith. "What do you mean again? Last time it was a draw." 

 

"Yeah right, we both know who made it to the infirmary first." Keith grinned, crossing his arms victoriously.

 

"Keith, the only reason I agreed to call it a tie was because I felt bad that you lost to a poor injured fellow." Lance retorted, jokingly punching Keith's arm. "But don't worry, keep practicing and maybe you'll catch up to the speed master." 

 

"I'm pretty sure I was already catching up before you stopped." The two boys continued their pseudo argument for quite some time. At first, Shiro thought they were actually arguing at each other, but one quick glance behind him and he saw the two actually smiling and having a good time. He hadn't seen Keith be so genuinely happy in such a long time. He decided he'd let the two have at it, knowing they were enjoying themselves. Eventually, after a few laughs and false accusations, the two stopped. They were getting closer and closer to the Bridge, and with each step Lance started to be more and more focused. 

 

Keith took a moment to glance at the boy, and he was surprised to see how he was so much more serious now. He was pensive, almost worried. Keith couldn't help but wonder if he was always like that whenever he got missions, but all he could recall was Lance's idiotic commentary whenever Allura gave out her orders. And although it was obvious that Lance had his mind in the mission, every so often when he thought no one, especially Keith, was looking, he’d steal glances at the beautiful, black-haired boy. Honestly, he was still trying to process what had happened not even an hour ago. Lance couldn’t recall ever feeling so happy.

 

It didn’t take them long to reach the bridge. Everyone else was already gathered there, patiently waiting. “There you are.” Allura said with a smile, she was obviously starting to get impatient, but refused to show it. She had been patiently waiting the entire day to have this briefing, but it seemed like the universe was determined to postpone it as much as possible. “Now we can begin.” Everyone else nodded, already waiting for the briefing. “I’m sure all of you recall the Galra attack we faced a few days ago. It was a very… difficult battle.” She looked over at Lance with a hint of sadness in her eyes. The pained memory of Lance getting hit by the quintessence beam was still fresh on her mind. “Yet you have all done an excellent job and we managed to escape with _all_ of our lives.” She smiled softly, looking at the team in front of her. “However, “ her smile faded and her voice became grave, “we are going to have to face that same fleet again.”

 

“What?” Hunk nearly groaned in anticipated frustration. He looked over at Lance, worried about the danger of something else happening. In all out honesty? He had hoped they'd never have to fight that particular fleet again. It was just bad mojo at this point. He was afraid Lance would get hit again, or worse. He sighed, knowing his best friend would kill him if he gave this too much thought. He just wished Lance took more care of himself.

 

“Those two fleets were close to a civilization that had requested aid from Voltron. There is no telling what they are going to do and are currently doing with that planet and it’s inhabitants.” Allura said firmly, looking at each and every single one of her paladins. “And, “ her voice became even graver, “that planet, Dolmeira, was one of Altea’s closest allies. They were known for producing impeccable machinery that could do almost anything, but also deadly weapons that could destroy almost anything.”

 

“If the Galra has access to their technology, there’s no telling what they’ll do.” Shiro interrupted, remembering the many horrible things he’s witnessed the Galrans do. If they had access to more deadly weaponry, there’s no telling what they could do.

 

“But then, wouldn’t they already have gotten hold of them? It has been a long while.” Pidge asked, worried. “Are we too late?”

 

“No.” Coran spoke up. “The Dolmeirans were smart enough to know that someday their weaponry could be used against them. They didn’t just build for offense, but they also build for defense.” He smiled, fixing the right side of his mustache. He spoke lightly, but his eyes betrayed him. He was worried.

 

“Indeed.” Allura nodded. “They were very careful. We’ve received a transmission from them, while in the midst of battle. I was surprised when I received it after the battle, but they knew we were there and they know we will help them. The majority of their weaponry and population have been unfortunately reported as destroyed, but there are still survivors living inside the fortifications of their planet. They are still fighting. Those two fleets sent were no doubt sent by Zarkon to destroy and capture whatever remaining population and technology they have left. I’m afraid they won’t last much longer.” Her voice faltered slightly, worry obvious in her face. “We can not allow that to happen.”

 

“You’re right, and we won’t.” Shiro looked at his team, already receiving nods in agreement. Voltron would fight back. “So then, what is our plan princess?”

 

“We go down to Dolmeira before Zarkon’s fleets and aid the Dolmeirans in any way we can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful reader!!! Thank you so much for all your lovely comments (legit made my days 10000% better! especially since literally all my college projects were/are due this week and stress ensues)  
> Writing this portion of the story has been an adventure, let me tell you (Apparently, I've been banned from every drinking coffee… again) Quite the few all nighters have been spent for this (won't lie, writing this story is what's keeping me sane right now)  
> But the best part about it, is that I get to share it with such wonderful people!   
> Right now, I'll admit the story isn't quite what where I want it to be, but bear with me!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for having such an out of wack posting schedule, between school and working on my comic with my friend things have gotten very crowded… but voila!!  
> Also… I was having a hard time these past few days, and I just wanted y'all to know that every single one of your comments (both recent and old) made my week at least 1000000 times better!! So thank you!!! You guys are the best readers a writer can ask for!! I'm so happy to be able to share and experience this story with all of you, you guys are truly amazing <3
> 
>  
> 
> Also, finally caught up with Voltron (minus the last two episodes because sleep is a thing ) and AHHHHHHHHHH  
> just AHHHHH  
> I think I might be broken now.

“We leave in five hours.” Allura said to end the meeting. Everyone mostly decided to go sleep for a bit and stock up on energy. The paladins were nervous, as they usually were before any battle ahead, but they still needed to get some sleep. It’s been a long, weird, and hot day.

 

Lance, of course, decided he aught to train before the battle. It was a normal habit of his, and he would often compare it to studying on the night before a big test. He did that a lot too. Normally, he’d be focused on nothing but the fighting drones in front of him. He would attack, dodge and hit over and over and over again, practicing different maneuvers and skill shots. He would only care about defeating the enemy.

 

Yet right now the last thing on his mind is the practice dummy in front of him. He still attacked and dodged and hit like usual, but it was slower and less focused. Lance couldn’t help but let his mind drift off to everything that happened in the span of one day, or, more specifically, what happened with Keith. He couldn’t get four words out of his mind.

 

“I will love you.” What the hell did Keith mean by that? Surely it was platonic right? That’s what Lance would like to assume, but then he remembers the way Keith looks at him and the gentle red that sometimes flushes through his skin whenever Lance says something suave. Was he embarrassed or did he actually fall in love with Lance? What’s worse is that Lance himself wants Keith to be in love with him. He wants to _be_ with Keith. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he had feelings for the black haired boy.

 

He wondered if the idea of Keith actually loving him was just wishful thinking. He knew it probably was, but he didn’t want to believe it. He grunted, annoyed that he couldn’t stop thinking about Keith’s words, his smile, the way his eyes showed so much emotion, the gentle caress of his touch and even his stupid mullet.

 

Keith was literally all he could think about. It was actually stupid. He groaned, frustrated. He decided he’d go and talk to Keith.

 

After the meeting ended and everyone left, Keith noticed Lance was headed towards what Keith assumed was the training room. He looked nervous, but also serious. Keith was going to follow him and keep him company, but he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head and was surprised to see Hunk.

 

“Hey, can we talk?” Hunk smiled kindly gesturing towards a hallway outside the bridge. Keith nodded slowly, glancing once more towards the blue paladin before following Hunk. The two stared silently at each other for a few moments before Hunk spoke up. “So, you and Lance?” He asked casually.

 

Keith froze. “Uh… I… what?” He felt himself become flustered. How did Hunk know? Keith thought he was being discreet about his hopeless crush with Lance.

 

“I don’t really know what exactly is going on with you two, but as his best friend I have a few things I need to say to you.” Hunk easily ignored the slight glare Keith gave him. “First of all, you two are quite adorable together, really. Congratulations.” Keith felt his face turn red.

 

“Wait Hunk that’s not-“ Keith tried to tell Hunk that they weren’t together and would probably never be together, but he was quickly interrupted by Hunk.

 

“Secondly, if you do anything to hurt him. I will unleash my full wrath on you. Seriously, it’s scary stuff. You’d be deprived of any of my cooking and amazing hugs.” Keith groaned.

 

“Hunk. There isn’t-“ Keith tried again, but was once again interrupted. He was starting to get really annoyed with this talk.

 

“Now then, there’s a thing you aught to know. Lance isn’t the best when it comes to picking up when people care about him. You’re going to have to spell it out for him.” Hunk smiled softly.

 

“Hunk. I don’t think he likes me that way.” Keith sighed, feeling slightly frustrated. Hunk stared at him, and laughed, which only made Keith more irritated. “What’s so funny?” He frowned.

 

“You’re kidding.” Hunk slowly subsided his laughed. “That idiot is head over heels for you, whether he realizes it or not.” He put a hand on Keith’s shoulder, smiling softly. “Besides, the role of best friend is taken and all that’s left is rival and boyfriend. Your choice.” Hunk started to make his exist. “Oh, and good luck! I’ll be rooting for you.”

 

And just like that, he was gone. Keith gawked at the empty spot where Hunk was standing just a few moments before. How did Hunk know so much? And could Lance really be in love with him? When he mentioned his feelings towards Lance, he didn’t really say anything. It wasn’t really like he rejected Keith, but he didn’t quite admit to reciprocating his feelings either.

 

Keith grunted, wondering why this was so damn hard. He wished emotions were easier to handle. With another sigh, he decided he’d look for Lance and talk to him and maybe something would happen. If anything came out of this, good or bad, at least Keith would know where exactly he stood with Lance, although he hoped it would be good.

 

His first thought was to search around Blue, knowing how close he was to his lion he figured Lance might be talking to him before the battle. He wasn’t quite there. He then tried the kitchen, and then the training room, and then finally Lance’s room, yet no matter where he looked he couldn’t find Lance anywhere. He tried looking in the lounge, the bridge, the pool, the many hallways of the castle and even the infirmary. Lance was nowhere to be scene in any of those places. Keith couldn’t quite understand where the hell the boy had gone and why he was nowhere to be seen, and even thought that maybe Lance was avoiding him. Eventually he gave up.

 

Words couldn’t begin to explain the shock Keith felt when he finally saw Lance, standing in front of his door, frozen in space. Lance’s hands were hovering in front of the door, as if they couldn’t decide whether to knock or not. Lance had a funny expression on his face -it was a mixture of nervousness and giddiness. It was almost like he was diffusing a bomb that would detonate candy. His entire body was stiff, like he had been standing there for a while.

 

“Lance?” Keith asked, trying to understand what exactly he was seeing. Why was Lance just standing there, and for how long? Lance jumped, immediately retracting his hands behind his back and slapping on a nervous smile. “What are you doing?” Keith asked innocently, trying desperately not to smile fondly over the way Lance’s eyes timidly looked at everything but Keith and how his face was turning a sweet shade of red.

 

“Keith…” Lance mumbled, like he was trying to think of something. “Keith!” He suddenly cheered, louder. “My dude! Fellow paladin! Member of Voltron! Just the guy I was looking for!” He was talking quickly, like he was just caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. It was kind of funny to watch, but also endearing. Keith didn’t want to admit that he thought this side of Lance was charming in it’s own odd, flabbergasted way.

 

“What do you need?” Keith raised a brow, relishing the moment a bit too much.

 

“Well. You see…” Lance stalled a bit. “I was wondering if I could borrow your jacket.” Lance mentally cursed at himself. He apparently wasn’t as good under pressure as he thought. “It’s cold in the ship?” He gave Keith a sheepish smile, hoping the other boy wouldn’t question anything.

 

“You’re wearing your jacket…” Lance felt his face turn red, but he refused to back down. He was far too stubborn for that. He took off his jacket and threw it at Keith, blinding the boy momentarily when it hit his face.

 

“No I’m not.” He puffed, crossing his arms.

 

“You just took it off.” Keith smiled, removing the jacket from his head. He had to admit it smelled quite nicely.

 

“No I didn’t.” The black haired boy rolled his eyes, still smiling. He took off his own jacket and handed it to Lance.

 

“Alright, here.” Lance looked at the jacket, and then at the boy, then back at the jacket. “Well, you’re cold aren’t you?” Lance felt a smile form on his lips. He slowly took the jacket from Keith and sheepishly put it on.

 

“Thanks…” He looked at the other boy. Keith had Lance’s jacket wrapped around his waist now. He had his arms crossed, but he wasn’t mad nor scowling like usual. Instead, he had a beautiful smile etched on his lips and a caring gaze with his eyes. Lance caught himself staring. He then remembered that he was here to resolve things, and that’s what he was going to do. He took a deep, nervous breath before beginning to talk. “Okay, Fine. You win. I wasn’t here to ask for a jacket.” Lance sighed feeling a whole new wave of anxiety hit him. “I… wanted to talk.”

 

“Oh.” Keith blinked, wondering what it was that Lance wanted to talk about. It had to be something important for him to be acting so skittish and uneasy. “Go ahead.” He tried to sound reassuring. Any moment that Lance wanted to talk, especially to him, was more than encouraged. Lance actually coming to talk to Keith was a whole new step towards the two becoming closer, and Keith really, really appreciated that. He wondered if there was something else that Lance had been keeping to himself. Maybe he needed to confide something else? Or maybe something had happened. Whichever it was, Keith decided he’d be there for Lance. He also decided he’d postpone his own conversation with Lance, not wanting to risk losing whatever delicate and new relationship he finally had with the other.

 

“Earlier today…” Lance fidgeted about slightly messing around with his fingers nervously as he shifted his weight from leg to leg, rocking side to side. “You said…” How could he phrase this? “I…” He bit his lip and thought for a moment. He wasn’t sure he could do it anymore. How could he confess to someone he probably didn’t deserve? He looked at Keith, who was patiently waiting for him to talk. “Thanks. I’m glad I talked to you.” He smiled, already hating himself for backing out.

 

Keith blinked. He wondered why a thank you took so much effort. Was the boy really that against talking to others about his feelings? “Don’t mention it. You can always talk to me about anything, alright?” He smiled, wondering if maybe Lance was holding back on something.

 

“Cool.” Lance sounded a bit disappointed. Keith frowned. Did he say something wrong?

 

“Yeah…” Keith mumbled, still trying to figure out exactly what was happening. Lance flashed him another smile before starting to turn around. He was leaving?

 

“Well, nice talk. See you later?” He talked a bit too quickly. Keith frowned even more. Lance was acting evasively. Keith thought back to the conversation he had with Hunk. He did say the boy was pretty awkward with emotions. Keith couldn’t quite believe it at first, considering how he flirted all the time, but now…

 

“Hold up.” Keith grabbed Lance’s hand, trying to prevent him from getting away. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Lance looked at him for a moment, and then nodded slowly. He squeezed Keith’s hand gently, letting him know he was listening. “Well… I was just wondering if… What I said earlier… you know, about me loving you… um… did it mean anything?” Keith glanced at the boy, wondering if what kind of reaction he’d see. Lance didn’t do anything; in fact he looked pale as a ghost.

 

“You meant that platonically right?” Lance finally asked, and looked expectantly at Keith. The other boy couldn’t help but feel his heart sink down his chest. His lungs felt tight and he couldn’t quite find his voice for a good while.

 

“Yeah.” He looked at the ground, feeling the world around him collapse. Of course Lance would think he meant it platonically. Of course Lance wouldn’t like him that way. What was he thinking? Why did he let Hunk persuade him to believe that they’d ever be together?

 

“Oh.” Lance’s voice was thick with disappointment and sadness. It was like what Keith said wasn’t what he wanted to hear. Keith looked up immediately. Lance didn’t just sound sad, but he looked it too. His eyes were looking at the walls and he didn’t even have the usual fake smile on his lips. “Okay, cool I guess.”

 

“No.” Keith said quickly, and maybe too eagerly. Lance looked at him confused.

 

“What?” He asked, not really sure he wanted to keep talking to Keith at the moment. He just wanted to lie down for a bit and try not to feel too stupid for thinking Keith could ever like him. He wanted to be alone.

 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Keith felt his heart race inside his chest. Lance tilted his head to the side, still a bit confused about what Keith was trying to say. “I meant that I-“

 

Suddenly the sirens rang. “Paladins, get to your lions. We are leaving now.” Allura’s voice could be heard throughout the entire castle. Lance sighed, a bit relieved that this conversation was over.

 

“I guess it’s time to go.” He forced a chuckle, trying to sound natural. “I’ll see you in the battlefield then. Later.” His voice sounded flat, but he didn’t care. He tried to let go of Keith’s hand and leave but his attempt was stopped quickly when Keith’s hold tightened.

 

Keith was annoyed. Why, of all times, did it have to be this exact moment that they had to leave? Allura had piss poor timing. What’s worse is that Lance still looked like a beat up puppy and somehow still didn’t understand how Keith felt. Emotions were so damn hard. Now that Keith had finally found the perfect opportunity to express himself, something he doesn’t often do well if at all, he was going to continue. There was no way in hell he was going to wait until the end of a battle until he confessed his feelings. Fuck. That.

 

“I love you, idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news, If you guys want to contact me at all (to talk about voltron or anything really!) have my insta: mephobicShadow


	16. Author's Note?

Hey guys!   
I still exist I promise!  
Amongst all the dumb stuff that's been going on in my life (art college is literal chaos let me tell you), I have been meaning to finish this fic for the absolute longest time, but every time I open my doc to start working on it... I kind of don't know where to go.   
That isn't to say I don't have the story planned out (I do!!) I just don't know how to write it without making it seem dull or overly sappy or just plain... cliche and not worth the read. I also kind of don't like a few of the last minute changes I did while writing previous chapters, and I feel like they are the main reason why I'm having such a difficulty writing this.  
So after (literally) months of stalling this.. I've decided to ask you guys for help.  
Here are the solutions I thought of for a while:

A) Bulldoze through it, write it out and post it regardless of my feelings for the work (whether I hate or love it)   
B) Maybe redo the whole story, keeping it's essence and timeline there but maybe changing one or two things here and there to make the story better.  
C) Give up writing it altogether and just spoil the ending of how it was supposed to go so I won't be leaving you on an eternal cliff hanger at least.

I don't really want to do C, but if neither A nor B are appealing... I'll do it. 

I really don't want to abandon this story. It's been so fun to write and has honestly been a nice lil calming factor in my life. I also don't want to leave it where it is, but I don't quite know what to do with it.   
If any of you lovely readers have any other ideas about how I could go about this, pitch them in!!   
Thank you for hearing (or I guess reading?) me out!  
Much love  
-Angel


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back and ready to kick it!  
> Hey everyone!! I just wanted to say thank you all so much for every comment you left me! I didn't realize so many people liked the story as it was and I'm really thankful for it. I decided I was going to do option A, and power through it and then, once I've finished maybe go back and edit everything I personally thought was kind of bad.  
> You guys are absolutely amazing, I'm so thankful to have you guys as my dear readers <3  
> I'll try and upload more content quicker... I definitely will not be taking a couple of months, some existential crisis and a lot of cake to upload again...  
> Thanks again for everything and thank you for being patient with me!! I'm so happy I can be uploading this again!!  
> Love you guys!
> 
>  
> 
> maybe a little bit of cake..

Keith had to admit he felt a little smug when he saw the dumbfounded expression on Lance’s face. It was like watching a love confession in a Disney movie but the browser freezes at the perfect frame where the love interest looks like a complete and total idiot. In all out honesty he was probably trying to process everything. It was priceless. Soon, however, that shocked expression turned into the warmest, happiest smile Keith has ever seen Lance wear. Keith didn’t even get a chance to smile back before Lance brought him into a hug.

 

“I love you too.” Lance finally said. He was so ecstatic; it honestly felt like he was in a dream. Keith loved him. He actually loved him. The universe seemed so perfect right now, even if they had to fight stupid purple aliens. It was so impressive how the two went from mock hating each other to loving each other. Lance couldn’t be happier, though.

 

It was a shame they had to go on a mission now of all times. Lance gently pulled back from his embrace and smiled fondly at Keith. “I guess I’ll see you after we kick Galra butt?” Keith chuckled slightly.

 

“Yeah. I guess you will.” The two looked at each other for a short moment of pure bliss. “Be careful out there, okay?” Keith added, hoping Lance’s stupid acts of selflessness wouldn’t get him in trouble again. The memory of Lance coming out of Blue barely half alive was still haunting him. It’s definitely something Keith did not want to happen ever again.

 

Lance nodded, smiling softly. “You too.” He placed a hand on Keith’s cheek, planting a kiss on his forehead. “See you in the battlefield.” Lance gave a goofy grin, waving at Keith as he ran away towards his lion. Keith stood for a few flustered seconds before going towards his own lion. He could definitely get used to this side of Lance.

 

“Alright, is everyone ready?” Shiro asked through the intercom, receiving a full-hearted war cry from every paladin.

 

The battle didn’t take too long.

 

There weren’t many functioning Galra battleships left by the time team Voltron joined the scene. What could be seen was the ending of a long, arduous battle. There was a halo of debris scattered all around the planet Dolmeira. This meant one of two things, either the inhabitants of Dolmeira managed to successfully defend themselves against this Galra fleet… or they did not.

 

“Are we too late?” Lance heard Allura speak in the intercoms. Fortunately, there was still a spark of battle left.

 

“Maybe not.” Shiro answered, taking his team towards the battle. “Hulk, take the lead. Pidge and Keith back him up.” He ordered smoothly. “Lance, you’re with me. We’re going on a scouting mission.” Lance wondered why he was chosen to be Shiro’s partner, especially since he was never really good at scouting… not like Keith was.

 

“Yes sir.” Lance said cheerfully, following Shiro towards the planet’s surface. “Try not to miss me too much out there, guys.” He really wanted to say Keith, just to tease him, but he wasn’t sure how comfortable Keith was with the publicity of their relationship. He figured Keith wasn’t too used to the idea of dating someone else, considering Lance had never seen him with anyone else during their time together at the Garrison, and decided he’d probably want to take baby steps first.

 

Keith smiled softly; of course Lance would say something egotistical like that. “Idiot.” He mumbled under his breath. “Try not infect the Dolmerians with your stupidity.” He replied with a cocky smirk on his lips. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. ‘Try not to get hurt.’ He thought.

 

“Please, a minute with me would make anyone at least twice as smart.” Lance teased. “You of all people should know that.” Keith held down a laugh, he remembered a time where a comment like that would piss him off beyond belief. He opened his mouth to speak.

 

“Focus.” Shiro said sternly before Keith could wittingly retort. “Everyone ready?”

 

“Yeah, okay.” Lance rolled his eyes a little dejected… so much for pestering Keith throughout the battle. “Let’s do this.” He said a little more pumped.

 

“We got this!” Hunk cheered, making his way towards he warzone. Pidge and Keith followed immediately. The three made a deadly trio, taking out Galra ships without remorse. Hunk crashed through their frontline, scattering the ships around and preventing them from grouping up. Keith shot down any ship unlucky enough to be within range, making sure to destroy as many as he could. Pidge took down any ship somehow still functioning, dealing a finishing blow.

 

The three continued on, dodging and attacking. They worked well together, but that’s to be expected considering they’ve been a team for quite a long time.

 

“Land carefully Lance.” Shiro said through the coms as they approached the planet. “Luckily, it seems there aren’t any Galra on the planet.”

 

“Does that mean their attack failed?” Lance hoped aloud. If there weren’t any enemy ships preventing them from going inside the planet, then maybe Dolmeira hasn’t fallen. The moment they came closer to the surface of the planet, Lance felt his heart sink. He felt sick.

 

Allura had mentioned how beautiful and lively the planet was. She said there was greenery everywhere, and that the many beautiful cities on the planet were colorful, bright and breathtakingly gorgeous. She mentioned how the locals were friendly, and always inclusive of others. She recalled the beautiful chant of the many birds flying around, and the gentle hum of the machinery used. It was a calm, peaceful planet filled with genuine kindness and awe-inspiring beauty.

 

This was not that planet.

 

The once beautiful architecture that decorated the cities was now in ruins, with barely any indication of what it once looked like. There were bodies littering the streets, some were burned and unrecognizable, and others you could see the pure terror left behind in their dying moments. Blood was splattered everywhere, painting the once colorful city a dark, gruesome shade of red. The once bright green forests were now mostly burned down and destroyed leaving one or two surviving greenery here or there, standing alone miserably against the rest of the destruction.

 

Lance and Shiro landed easily in one of the eerily empty squares. The scent of death, gunfire and corpses immediately hitting them the moment they stepped out of the lions. Lance felt like puking. “Shiro?” He asked weakly, feeling his heart breaking into pieces from what he saw. Throughout his many battles with the Galra, he’s seen many horrible things that have kept him up at night more than once. He’s seen the Galra imprison and torture others, he’s seen the Galra mutate and experiment, he’s seen the Galra destroy and conquer, but he’s never seen something so grotesque as this. He’s never seen so much death in one place. This was a massacre of a battle. The one fact that made this all even worse is that there was a chance the Galra had done this before, to other planets and other races.

 

They could do this to Earth.

 

“We should keep moving, there may be survivors.” Shiro said darkly. “Lets go.” Lance nodded, following his older teammate. He forced himself to look around, hoping to find at least one survivor… at least one. All he saw was death.

 

“What should we do?” His voice was weak and small. “If everyone is dead…”

 

“There were still ships and blasters fighting the Galra when we entered the battle, that means there are still survivors, right?” Shiro gave Lance a sympathetic smile.

 

“You’re right.” He nodded grimly. There were still survivors of the planet, but those were the soldiers, people who volunteered to fight and were ready for anything. The people lying dead around him, they were innocent citizens. These were mercilessly murdered and had no clue about how they could fight back or survive. This was…

 

“Lance, this may not be the best time… But I want to talk to you.” Shiro looked at him with stoic, yet kind eyes.

 

“Sure.” He tried to sound as unaffected as he wish he was. “Talk away.” He was thankful for Shiro; a conversation would be nice if it meant he could think about anything other than… this.

 

“You’re aware you can talk to me about anything, right?” He asked softly, as though he were touching a delicate topic.

 

“Yeah, I know.” Lance offered a smile, but it didn’t last long. How could he smile in a place like this?

 

“Including anything you have to say about me.” Lance stared at Shiro, wondering if he heard him right. “I know I push everyone to try their hardest… and I know sometimes it seems like I don’t notice how far you’ve come. Well, it’s just…” Before Shiro could continue, Lance waved his hands and shook his head.

 

“Wait, hold up. Where is this coming from? Shiro, you’re an amazing leader. I look up to you. Why would I have anything to complain about?” Lance blinked, placing a hand on Shiro’s shoulder.

 

“I’ve come to realize that I’ve been demanding too much from you. You’re a great paladin Lance, and I take that for granted.” Shiro thought about Lance getting hit by the quintessence beam, how the boy sacrificed himself for the sake of his team. He remembered Keith chastising him the next day, for forgetting about it. Everyone noticed how Lance had been acting a little strange, like something could be wrong, but even then he still tried his best as both a paladin and a friend. Shiro should’ve made sure he was okay, instead he just expected him to be.

 

“Shiro…” Lance wasn’t sure what to say. He had no idea where this came from, and he wasn’t even sure if Shiro actually believed what he was saying. Lance wasn’t a great paladin… right now he was good at best. He could be so much better, but he was nowhere close to that. “It’s your job to demand the best from me. You’re just trying to get me to be better than I am now.” He shrugged. “I can’t get mad about that.” Shiro smiled softly.

 

“I know. But I still have to give credit where credit is due.” He sighed, seeming tired. “When you got hit by that beam, I didn’t really want to think about the fact that I almost lost another teammate. I didn’t want to think about it, and ended up pretending it never happened. I didn’t even stop to consider how it could’ve affected you. I was mad at myself for not being there with you, and for letting you take on that burden on your own. I’m sorry.” Lance’s eyes widened.

 

“It’s not like you were the one who shot that beam at me Shiro. If I weren’t ready to risk everything I wouldn’t be here. I’d still be at the Garrison crashing simulations.” Lance offered another smile. “Besides, I’m fine. Some time in the pods and I’m as good as new.” Almost. Lance felt a sense of guilt overwhelm him a bit. He never wanted Shiro of all people to worry about him like that. He looked around, not sure if he could look at Shiro right now, plus he had to look for survivors right? His eyes wondered to something bright.

 

“Lance…” Shiro started, but never finished.

 

“SHIRO!!” Lance immediately pushed the older paladin out of the way, falling on top of him and rolling painfully to the side. He nearly missed getting hit himself. “Show yourself, Galra.” He said taking out his Bayard and setting it to gun mode. He saw movement somewhere and immediately pointed his gun, ready to shoot.

 

“Wait, Lance!” Shiro quickly got up himself, and placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “I don’t think that was Galra.” He said calmly. “Whoever is out there, we come in peace. We are the paladins of Voltron. My name is Shiro, I’m the pilot of the black lion, and this is Lance, he’s the pilot of the blue lion.”

 

“Paladins?” A soft voice could be heard from behind a pillar of ruins. “So you came after all…” A figure emerged, slowly. Lance put down his gun. “Follow me.” The female Dolmarian said. She was beautiful and tall. She had lightly blue colored skin and gorgeous long purple hair. Her big blue eyes looked from paladin to paladin, eyeing them up. If she was disappointed, she didn’t show it. “I’m Rhasolin. It’s a shame we didn’t meet in better circumstances.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick question 110% unrelated to this fic or fandom, so feel free to ignore it.  
> I'm currently also developing a webcomic that I'm actually really proud of and was wondering if, when I do end up uploading it, you guys would be interested in reading it?
> 
> Oh! actually a little bit about the fandom, whoops. A friend and I are currently working on another Klance fic, set in college sans evil purple aliens. Would y'all like a link to that when we post it?
> 
> Have a wonderful day everyone!! And good luck in your exams if you have them!! (I sure know I need it..)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Sorry for taking a while to update again! This time it was actually because I started rewriting the first few chapters. I already republished 1 and 2!!! They're a LOT longer than before and I feel like they're kind of better at portraying what I wanted to say in the first place.   
> I can't wait to redo the next set!  
> What I'm going for right now is rewriting 2 or 3 chapters before diving into a new one. I think this is the best way to keep myself more motivated to write as well as making this story better.   
> Thank you all for sticking with me through thick and thin <3   
> Love you guys!

“What happened?” Shiro asked, following her. Lance glanced back at the place Shiro was standing… there was a small hole there now. With a sigh, he caught up to Shiro and Rhasolin.

 

“The Galra did as the Galra does. They wanted our resources, our weapons and our minds. We decided we didn’t want to live the rest of our lives as slaves and fought back. Our military was strong enough to repel them, but we over extended. They took that opportunity to come to our world behind our backs and took out some of our big cities.” Rhasolin said coolly. “We since then drew back our military, keeping them in defense rather than offense.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Was all Shiro could say to that. “We will do everything we can to help you against the Galra.” He assured her, with an empathetic, yet serious, tone in his voice.

 

“You’re too late.” Her face rarely showed emotion, Lance wasn’t sure whether it was because she simply didn’t care… or because she felt so defeated she had neither energy nor motivation for emotions. He hoped it was the former. “The Galra took some of our own, prisoners of war and scientists to torture, as well as some of our technology. It won’t be long before they gain knowledge of our defenses and weapons and come back stronger to take us down.”

 

Silence was the only answer. It was depressing how ready to give up she felt, and how easily she accepted the idea that both she as well as her race were going to die soon. Shiro wasn’t sure how to give comfort or assurance that they would be okay. How do you tell someone so crushed and beaten that there is still hope?

 

“What if we go rescue them? This happened recently right? Surely there’s still time.” Lance tried. “And if not, then we can help you defend.” Rhasolin looked at him sadly, but offered him a smile. She didn’t believe in them.

 

“The prisoners and technology were divided into two ships, each sent into a different direction. You won’t have enough time to recover both.” She sighed. “It’s a good idea, but there’s no hope.” She stopped walking in front of what looked like an underground entrance, probably a bunker. “There’s only a 9% chance of our survival if you manage to rescue our people and a 5% if you return our technology.”

 

“And if we get both?” Lance asked.

 

“We don’t know what they have learned and will learn before you rescue them. It’s hard to make an estimate.” She sighed, opening the hatchet. “Anyways, welcome to the resistance, I guess.” Rhasolin took the two of them further inside the bunker, into what looked like an underground city reinforced from the outside. It was actually kind of big, but looked a bit empty.

 

The city was beautiful and well made, well lit by a blue light coming from largely sized spots on the, what looked like, concrete wall surrounding the bunker, as a layer of protection. The city was bright, even the buildings illuminated it somehow. Lance wondered if this is what the city above this one looked like.

 

Rhasolin led them past a few buildings, and eventually towards a small meeting hall. “Edvon, I bring you two Paladins of Voltron.” She gestured for Lance and Shiro to go inside. “It’s been a pleasure, Shiro of Black and Lance of Blue.” With those parting words, she left.

 

Lance looked at Shiro. “Are we really too late?” He felt his heart sink. He really wanted to help the Dolmarians somehow.

 

“We’ll figure something out.” Shiro offered a smile. “Let’s go meet Edvon. Maybe he has some idea on what can be done.” Lance smiled back. The two made their way inside the building.

 

“Greetings paladins. It’s a great pleasure and honor to meet you.” A cheerful man said the moment the two walked in. “I am Edvon, the general in charge of Madvir and her people.” His smile wavered. Edvon was a lean, tall man with short black hair and a gray mustache. He had sad, kind eyes and a worried brow.

 

“The pleasure is ours.” Shiro extended his right hand, which Edvon shook pleasantly. “I’m Shiro and this is Lance. The rest of our team is fighting the Galra, they should be here soon once the battle is over.”

 

“Wonderful. I have some information to share with your group that may help you help us.” Edvon looked at Shiro expectantly. “That is if you can help us.” He sighed. “I’m sure Rhasolin told you of our current condition.”

 

“Yes, and we will help however we can.” Shiro assured. “We will stop the Galra, somehow.” Edvon looked at him for a short moment, pensively.

 

“Yes, thank you. For now let us wait for your comrades. My men say the battle is basically over, so it shouldn’t take long. Why don’t you explore our underground city while you wait?” He smiled kindly, but tiredly.

 

“We will, thank you.” Shiro bowed his head slightly, as if in affirmation. “Thank you for your hospitality.” Edvon nodded, dismissing them.

 

“Lets call the Princess.” Shiro told Lance once they left the building. “We should update her, and tell her what’s happened.”

 

“Okay.” Lance nodded. Suddenly, Lance felt a shot of pain radiate from his chest. It was nothing like the deathly pain of the quintessence beam, and not nearly as bad and excruciating as the previous chest pain he had, but it was certainly still breathtakingly agonizing. He stopped walking and let his hands grasp at his chest, willing the pain to go away. Thankfully, Shiro had his back turned towards him and was already using the communicator to talk to Allura.

 

The pain left by the time Shiro’s conversation was done.

 

“By the way Lance.” He finally turned to the boy, who aside from his oddly tired appearance, looked just fine. “I’m happy you and Keith are playing well.” He smiled, remembering how they were getting along before the meeting Allura had held. Lance felt himself blush slightly.

 

“He’s not so bad, I guess.” He shrugged, trying not to show how badly he needed to sit down. “Anyways, what’s the plan Stan?”

 

“Princess Allura is going to land her ship by our lions. We’re going to meet her and the others there and bring them here.” Shiro started walking towards the entrance of the underground city. Lance diligently followed.

 

They walked mostly in silence. Shiro had his head thinking of a million things at once, most being any options he could think of to end the mission successfully. Meanwhile, Lance was facing an internal conflict. He was debating whether or not he should sit down somewhere to take a few, much needed breaths, or simply ignore his sudden fit of pain and march on. He let himself wonder what Keith or Shiro would do; both would probably keep going forward without complaint… Pidge and Hunk would probably go for the break, though. His secondary problem was that if he did in fact decide to step out and rest, if he should tell Shiro the real reason or just make up a bluff and hope Shiro is too deep in thought to notice.

 

He weighed his options. Right now they weren’t really fighting, and most likely all of the left over Galran soldiers were already being dealt with, so him taking a break wouldn’t be too much of a problem… but what if he’s wrong? Shiro was almost blasted to dust a few moments ago, though admittedly by a Dolmarian. Lance knew Shiro could defend himself; besides, he was distracted with their talk when he was almost hit. As they finally walked out of the underground city, Lance took a deep breath.

 

“Hey, you mind if I go check something out while you go talk to the princess?” Lance asked quietly, hoping Shiro wouldn’t think too much on it.

 

Shiro immediately stepped out of his thoughts and turned his full attention to Lance. “Sure.” He said carefully, trying to figure out if there was any deeper meaning to what Lance asked. He once more remembered how odd Lance had been acting. He wasn’t nearly as energetic as he usually was, for one. He was acting a little more serious, even when he joked around. He wasn’t around all that often anymore, only making a presence during meal times… Not to mention he wasn’t eating right anymore. “Is everything okay?” He ventured, hoping Lance would talk to him about it.

 

“Yeah dude. All peachy.” Lance gave him a big, toothy grin. “I just wanted to check this place out a bit. It looks like it was a pretty city before… you know.” Lance had a grim expression on his face, but only for a split second. “Anyways, I was hoping I could maybe just sight see, since I’m not really doing anything important right now.” He shrugged.

 

Shiro wasn’t sure if he was entirely convinced, but he trusted Lance. “Alright. I’ll be back in a few minutes so don’t venture off too far. And be careful, there might still be some galra hanging around.” Lance nodded.

 

“You too.” He said sincerely. “See you in a bit.” Shiro smiled, briefly giving out his own ‘see you soon’ before turning around and treading onwards towards the lions. The moment Shiro was out of sight, Lance let himself topple over. He gripped his chest lightly, hoping the pressure would help ease the pain away.

 

Eventually, he forced himself up. If anyone from the underground had come out to see him lying down in pain, they would probably doubt the legitimacy of the Paladins, and if Shiro came back to see him like that, he was sure the older paladin would have a worry induced panic attack. He started walking to any general direction, far enough that nobody would see him unless they looked for him, but close enough he could still see the general area of the underground city’s entrance. He let himself collapse on the floor once more, this time leaning against a wall. He heard himself groan in pain. He closed his eyes tiredly, hoping to find some form of comfort. He didn’t, _couldn’t_.

 

“Where’s Lance?” Keith asked almost immediately after he landed Red. Shiro and Allura were talking, and Pidge and Hunk were about to land as well. There were perks to having the fastest lion. Keith had looked around for the tall, annoyingly flamboyant boy, but there was no trace of him anywhere. He couldn’t help but feel a tinge of worry strike him.

 

“Well hello to you too, Keith.” Shiro chuckled slightly. “Lance wanted to go sight seeing, so I let him.” Keith raised a brow.

 

“We’re on a mission.” He deadpanned. “Why would you let him go off alone?”

 

“There aren’t any Galra around, plus he can take care of himself.” Shiro shrugged. “Besides, he looked a little… sad… when we landed on this planet.” He gestured to all the destruction around them. “I figured a good walk and some fresh air might cheer him up a bit.”

 

Keith wasn’t buying it. Sure, Lance would probably be devastated by the destruction around them, but he doubted he’d want to take a break from a mission just to ‘cheer up.’ He was more responsible than that… Right? “Which way did he go?” He couldn’t help but feel worried for the blue paladin.

 

“My, aren’t we eager to talk to Lance.” Allura gave Keith a sly smug. “I’d almost be tempted to think you fancy him, if it wasn’t for all the bickering the two of you do.” Keith glared at her, but he knew she was just teasing him. “Anyways, we’ll be meeting up with him shortly. You’ll get to bicker with him once more.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” He grumbled.

 

“In the meanwhile, Keith lets have a talk.” Shiro placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder, giving him a knowing look. Knowing Shiro, Keith knew this was a talk he couldn’t avoid… whatever it was about. “If you’ll excuse us, princess.”

 

“Of course.” She smiled softly at the two boys, turning her attention to the yellow and green lions as the two paladins left.

 

“What did you want to talk about?” Keith asked once they were a good distance away.

 

“A few things, actually.” Shiro scratched the back of his head, almost like he was nervous about something. “Look, I know you and Lance have never really been on good terms before… but…” Keith stared at him a little confused. “Do you think he’s okay? He’s been acting normal, but strange at the same time.” Keith deadpanned, already knowing what Lance would want him to answer.

 

“Yeah he’s fine.” He said almost robotically. “Why ask me anyways? Like you said, we’ve never really been on good terms.” He marveled at the fact that he was actually _lying_ to Shiro right now. Sure, he’s twisted the truth a bit here and there, but he’s never really flat out lied to Shiro, someone he looked up to and cared for like a brother. He didn’t feel too guilty about it, though. This was Lance’s wishes after all, and so long as it didn’t affect Voltron or his ability to be a paladin, Keith could keep them, and help Lance solve whatever problems he had without the others knowing.

 

  
“Well, as of late you two have been spending a lot of time together.” He shrugged. “Which, by the way, I’m glad whatever beef you had with him is gone.”

 

“Hey! I did not have beef with Lance! He was just an annoying prick.” Keith crossed his arms annoyingly. “He’s no longer an annoying prick so we get along is all.”

 

“Keith, Lance is still a bit of an annoying prick.” Shiro chuckled. “It’s part of what makes him Lance.” Keith sighed, he couldn’t really argue with that. Sure, Lance could be annoying at times, but he was always there for the team when they need him. He supposes that’s just another part of his charm. “But, I do have to ask…” oh no… “What exactly is going on between the two of you?” Shiro smiled softly and genuinely.

 

“Absolutely nothing.” Keith frowned. He wasn’t sure how comfortable Lance would feel with their relationship out in the open, then again he wasn’t really sure what their relationship was. Sure they confessed to each other and hugged, but nobody really asked the other out. Were they dating? Courting? Flirting? Keith suddenly wondered if Lance would rather remain friends despite everything that’s happened so far. The logical answer was a solid no, but Keith was never really that great with people so how was he supposed to know.

 

“Keith, I’ve known you for ages. I know when you like someone, and when you don’t. You clearly don’t not like him; and, actually, I overheard Pidge and Hunk mention that you might like him a lot.” Shiro smiled. “Not to mention how the two of you were talking to each other when I came to find you.” Keith felt himself blush.

 

“Okay, maybe I like him.” He looked away. “So what?”

 

“Have you told him yet?” Shiro asked, beaming with joy and completely ignoring the fact that Keith was a few shades redder.

 

“Have you told Allura?” Keith looked back at him, raising a knowing brow.

 

“Allura?” Shiro’s eyes widened. “What does she have to do with any of this?” Keith didn’t even bother with an answer; instead he just looked at Shiro with a bored expression on his face. “Okay, touché.” He sighed. “But it’s different with me. She’s a princess, and I’m the leader of the paladins. The two of us need to focus on saving the universe. I don’t want her wasting time worrying about me.” It almost felt like Keith was talking to Lance. “Besides, I doubt-“

 

“Okay let me stop you right there.” He said losing his patience. “First of all, there is quite literally nothing wrong with being in a relationship and kicking ass while doing so. Secondly, she’s not the type of person who would tip toe around you to spare you of your feelings, she’s kind, but she’s also objective. Thirdly, I’m pretty sure that she likes you back.” Keith sighed. “You never know what might happen in the future, especially in our line of work, so you might as well try and live in the present every so often.”

 

“That’s… very insightful of you, Keith.” Shiro blinked, more than just a little surprised.

 

“Yeah, well you sort of need to stop being an idiot when it comes to the girl of your dreams and talk to her. Plus, someone’s got to nag you about it.” Shiro raised a curious brow. “Oh come on, I’ve known you for years.” He said smugly, repeating Shiro’s words.

 

“Fair point. Which reminds me: let’s backtrack, shall we? You and Lance.” Shiro smiled triumphantly at Keith’s murderous glare.

 

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Keith grinned, starting to walk back towards Allura. Shiro looked at him incredulously for a moment, before trying to catch up with him.

 

“Yes, I would!” He tried, but Keith just smiled. “Alright, you win this round Kogane.” Shiro chuckled, following Keith.

 

After the two joined up with Allura and the other two paladins, they immediately went to find Lance. Shiro said he’d be around the entrance to the underground city, and true to word he was sitting a few meters away. Close enough that the other paladins could see him, but far enough he couldn’t hear them shouting his name. Unfortunately he had his helmet off too, so he couldn’t hear Shiro calling for him through the communicator either.

 

“I’ll go get him.” Hunk volunteered. “You guys can go on ahead, Lance and I will catch up.”

 

“Actually, I think Keith should go.” Shiro smiled softly, turning to Keith. “No offense but you’re diplomacy skills are rather bad.” Keith knew Shiro for a long time, and he knew exactly what he was doing. He wasn’t trying to chastise him for having a terrible temper, but rather using whatever excuse he could find to try and play wingman. Keith wanted to smile and thank him, but he decided to play along.

 

“What?” He tried to sound as offended as possible. “My diplomacy skills are good enough Shiro.” He said begrudgingly, already making his way towards Lance. “But fine!”

 

Hunk and Pidge stared as Keith walked away. “You two are terrible liars.” Pidge murmured softly. Hunk nodded in agreement.

 

“So you’re saying our dear red paladin is apt for diplomacy?” Allura chimed in with a wink. Shiro chuckled and opened the door to the underground city.

 

“Alright lets go.” He said before walking inside. Allura was quick to follow. Pidge nodded and went down the stairs as well, but before she was no longer out of sight she stopped, and looked at Hunk.

 

“Is everything okay?” Pidge asked, looking up at Hunk. He slowly turned towards her and nodded.

 

“Yeah, it’s just… Lance looks a little tired, is all.” He made his way to join Pidge, quietly looking back at Lance one last time before going down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like the drawing?? I've kind of decided I'm going to have a drawing for each chapter! 1 and 2 already have one of their own. It's actually kind of fun to draw; though, due to all the massive amounts of work I have, the quality is mediocre. So sorry about that!  
> Anyways, have a good morning/evening/night everyone!!


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